In my opinion, alcohol causes more problems than pot. Most people who only smoke pot, and don't drink, are usually pretty chilled out. They might have some memory problems, but don't we all? I left my husband a few years ago because of his drinking. He lied constantly, was abusive and irresponsible. After I left, he went into a rehab and straightened up. He got involved with AA and our life is now pretty great. We still have problems, but now we handle them as a team instead of my having to deal with everything. If I were you, I would not focus on the pot smoking, but make some decisions about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with an alcoholic. If he doesn't get help for that problem, your life will not get any better.