Ummm, crucifixion not so bad? Hanging on nails for hours on end and having to put pressure on your wounds to raise yourself up and catch a breath? Being beaten to a bloody pulp before being nailed down by whips? Suffering so much pain and dispair that you would scream out that you had been forsaken by the God you had lived and given your life for? I think his manner of death was horrific for any person, perfect or not. And being perfect would probably add more misery to the experience. Not lessen it.
There are ways of dying more terrible than the way Christ died. No disagreement there. But to go undergo that experience willingly, knowing you could avoid it if you wanted to, but still choosing it because of your love of God, love of mankind, and forgiving those people that did it to you, that moves me... whether you believe Jesus was the son of God or just a Jewish rabbi who got the goat of the local Jewish church leaders in Jerusalem who killed him.
The symbolism is still powerful for me. But there are times when I see suffering in this world that makes me doubt or wonder if God really loves us. Even the most religious people experience this. Consider these words from Mother Theresa's diary
that have been recently made public. She worked in the hellhole of Calcutta giving the sick and dying a place to be. Even she had moments of doubt and dispair.
"People say they are drawn close to God -- seeing my strong faith. Is this not deceiving people? Every time I have wanted to tell the truth -- that I have no faith the words just do not come -- my mouth remains closed. And yet I still keep on smiling at God and all."
"I am told God lives in me -- and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
"I want God with all power of my soul -- and yet between us there is terrible separation. I don't pray any longer. "
"In my soul, I can't tell you how dark it is, how painful, how terrible -- I feel like refusing God."
"Pray for me, Father. Inside of me there is so much of suffering -- Pray for me that I may not refuse God in this hour -- I don't want to do it but I am afraid I may do it. Pray for me."
"Where I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love -- the word -- it brings nothing."
Through her spiritual journey, Mother Theresa found that the horror of what was around her, and her own personal dispair, brought her closer to her God because she had to rely on him for strength to do what most of us couldn't stomach doing. There are people who have gone to Calcutta to help her mission and left early because they couldn't handle what they saw. They were overwhelmed by the horror of what they saw.
One thing she said that I really liked she would pass out on a card to people who would visit.
The fruit of silence is the prayer,
The fruit of the prayer is the faith,
The fruit of faith is love,
The fruit of love is the service,
The fruit of service is peace.
Just my two sense.
