After you left JWs how did you work out what you believe now

by awol 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • awol
    awol

    Onthewayout

    Thanx, yes I think you get what I'm saying.

    All in all though, I passed worrying about getting back in. I DID until I came across this site still think a bit like the JWs. But I DIDN'T realise this til the other day (when I came on here). That's what I mean. I may of well of fallen out yesterday not 10yrs ago.

    I KNEW (exJW thinking) that A was coming and I was dying .... soon. I would even of taken the brochure they are giving out and cried and worried myself sick.

    But NOW I can see it all for what it is!!!

    I tell you I can't sleep! I feel like crying all the time .... perhaps give it time and I will come to terms!

    Thanx everyone.... least I got you! xx

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    If They were happy with me being "ex Jw fallen away.... committed fornication and will die at armageddon taking her children and partner with her" label! then leave it alone.

    Unless you have to tell them what you currently believe, or are prepared to discuss how "you don't know," allow them to continue believing that you are the same, fallen away.

    If you want to help some to wake up and leave the JW's, as soon as you come on too heavy, they will tune you out. If you continue as they thought you were, you can slip in things that you are learning.

    Ultimately, you will have to work out your beliefs. I imagine I will have the same problems you have eventually. To non-JW friends and family, I have no problem saying "I don't know." To JW's, to avoid disfellowshipping, I will continue to say "I have doubts, but I am dealing with them." This will give them the impression that I accept most of the doctrine. If I get DF'ed, there is no way I will even continue to try to pretend I still have doubts. Choose your path, the best one for you.

  • Bodhisattva1320
    Bodhisattva1320

    i read a lot of psych books about conditioning, being brainwashed, fear, guilt, SPIRITUAL ABUSE, emotional abuse, etc. etc. its a tough realization and hard to admit that this has happened to us sometimes...but neccesary to overcome the feeling of being condemmed ( a convienient emotion for them)

    also a bad ass attitude always seemed to help ;)

    they didnt kill me- now they better run faster than me *oh snap i said that*

  • Bodhisattva1320
    Bodhisattva1320
    Yes, the world is messy and beautiful, dangerous and safe, filled with good people and bad ones.

    It is not a JW paradise, was never meant to be a JW paradise, and will never be one. The world simply is. What we have to decide is how we want to live the few years we're going to have in it. What purpose will we create for our life? Will we fill our life with violence or with peace and accomplishment? We may not always have complete choice in these matters, but we do have considerable options personally. Which ones will we choose?

    What the Witnesses left us with is the worldview that this is a terrible world needing to be replaced by god's righteous new system. That this world is ruled by Satan, and is filled with evil Changing that view to one more in harmony with what really is, will be a big help.

    This is all a great adventure for both the mind and spirit and body. Enjoy it!
    S4

    awesome comment!!! thank you!!

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    People that leave the JWs follow different paths some become atheists others real Christians unlike the JWs etc I chose to be a mainstream Christian rather than atheist but I don't closely associate with any group. After carefully studying the JW ideology I realised it was faulty and there was a lot of dishonesty in their history and dealings and their accusations against mainstream Christianity were wildly exaggerated.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    awol,

    welcome to the board,

    if you stil need some spiritual comfort I would suggest just reading the NT and learning about who the true Jesus really is. I found out he is nothing like the WT teaches at all and since Jesus is the "exact representation of God's glory" by getting to know him, we get to know our creator too. That is if you still have belief in the Bible.

    The wrong thing to do if you are newly out of the org. is to try to find another religious system.

    Most legalistic cults like the WT use fear to keep people in. But after I left I thought to myself this:

    Lets assume I believe in God. Well if so, how can I imagine a God that will literally destroy billions of people on earth just because they do not want to worship him, or have never heard of him, or have some type of road block up to keep from accepting him. And then say this God I believe in is Love?

    It is ridiculous to think this way. I am the mother of two and could not think of anything my children could do that I would want to annihilate them for. Not only that the whole idea of most of the world being destroyed by a mean and vengeful God hell bent to prove a point is totally offends MY mere puny, human sense of justice. If God's justice and mercy is so much higher than mine then we must have gotten it all wrong.

    Right then and there I decided not to worship the Watchtower God but to find out who God really is. And I found out he is nothing like the WT or most churches teach him to be. It took almost three years to come to this conclusion. One day you may come to this point too or you may not, but whatever you decide to do for now just enjoy your freedom and decompress. You as well as most of us here have been through a literal HELL. So sleep tight and do not worry, Lilly

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    The Old Testament tells us to love and obey God, OR ELSE YOU WILL BE DESTROYED.
    The New Testament tells us that God is love, ready to forgive. It is built on the foundation
    of the Old Testament, though.

    Jehovah's Witnesses returned to telling us to love and obey God, OR ELSE YOU WILL BE DESTROYED.
    Then they added that God is love, ready to forgive.

    Wherever you turn, whatever happens in the world, either God is love and ready to forgive, or
    we don't know anything about God, life after death, the future of mankind.
    In either case, live a good life, keep searching, fill your own spiritual need.

  • Beardo
    Beardo

    I understand how you feel.

    Its probably best not to throw out the baby with the bathwater - a belief in a creator God for instance is not a concept that needs to be jettisoned simply because we fall foul of one particular version of truth. Did you know that beyond Semitic mythology & philosophy, that there were other cultures who believed (and believe) in a singular divine essence to the universe?

    Other cultures have also taught of the end of a great cycle or an ' end time ' of sorts. I think it is sensible to still understand the times we are living in and inevitably as has happened throughout mankinds history we will burn out again and then rise like the phoenix whether at Gods hands or through our own efforts.

    Do not despair - in the meantime indulge yourself and read "In Search of Christian Freedom / Raymond Franz" - he will help transform your mind & feelings concerning the WTBTS and present the lonely road that now stretches before you. Afterall, we are born into this world and leave this world alone and the spiritual journey for each of us is often solitary & personal.

  • awol
    awol

    My kids are lucky.... they have been bought up with no faith. I am leaving it up to them to "work it out". Maybe they will help me as they grow older.

    I say they are lucky because like a page that hasn't been written on. Where as I feel like someone just got an erasure out and you can still see what was on the page. Now I have to write on the page again. But I can still see what was on there.

    you have all helped me so much already xxxx

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    BUT, I can't work out what to believe now. I don't want another religion and I'm not going looking for one. I just wonder if anyone has/is been like me. I feel like I haven't got a clue now.

    Yes I have been like you, are like you, I left the org in 83, 23 years ago after being raised in the troof. You have a world of resources at your finger tips that I never had, the innernet. I could tell you that I dont think there are any answers out there, but that wouldnt help you learn to think for yourself,

    You say you havent got a clue now. You cant work out what to believe. Heres some choices.

    There is a god. There is no god. We evolved, we didnt evolve. We are gods. We are not gods. Life has meaning. Life has no meaning. Life is what you make it. Man came from another planet. The gods are spacemen. God will take care of you. You will take care of yourself. All religions want your energy and money. All religions dont want your energy and money. You can get something for nothing. Someone else has the answers that will make you happy. No one else has the answers that will make you happy. Happiness is the destination. Happiness is the journey. We are spirits having human experiences. There is reincarnation. There is no reincarnation. The bible is full of contradictions. There are no contradictions in the bible. You cant know god without knowing the devil. God is love. God is the cosmic joker. Jesus is god. Jesus is not god. There were many messiahs born to virgins before jesus. There were not many messiahs born to virgins before jesus. On and on and on.

    The deal is when you go down one of the above roads thats your story, at least for the time being. And you tend to believe it, sometimes vehemtly, sometimes radically, sometimes passionately. But it dosent make it the troof, just your reality. This is the pleasure planet. Welcome to the forum of many truths.

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