After you left JWs how did you work out what you believe now

by awol 42 Replies latest jw friends

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  JWdaughter

  I could give a long list of churches and philosophies that occurred to me. Leave out scientology and everything else was at least looked at(in one branch/sect or another)I joined the LDS church(I still like them, don't care what anyone says-they have more evidence of fruits than many churches and were nice folks)learned more about or attended services for: Judaism, Amish/Mennonite, Moonies, regular Christians, fundy christians, holy rollers, mainstream, catholic, etc. Probably would have considered Orthodox, but I don't speak Greek. I know I left some out. I loved my SB congregation until they grew a great big building and then cancelled the food bank program. How messed up is that? Well, the whole place went to heck after that. (I am now about to start working at a diff. local foodbank at the church down the street from me).

  After a long consideration about why I was disinclined to find a new 'church home', I realized that my doubts were much more fundamental than any individual church (I always favored the Christian groups), but more in my view of God. I started not liking him. Which of course guilted me out cause I totally believe in him.

  In reconsidering the OT and NT, things were not gelling for me. Not just the stuff that is answered in the FAQs of a bible site, but more the overall outlook of this almighty God. The way he treated people, head games, wars, punishments, commandments(not the biggies, but go therefore and kill all those folks in Jericho), some of the actual contradictions(which are not as smoothly covered as some scholars would like to portray). Maybe those Jesus seminar people were on to something-I don't know. I believe there is a God and I believe that there are truly worthwhile things in the Bible. I don't believe it is all inspired.

  I wrote a post a while back (My epiphany), in a nutshell, if God is better than me, he didn't write that singlehandedly. And I am NOT going to buy into the theory that "If God is all powerful, how would he let his word be distorted?". No good God is advocating rape and baby slaughter-even if they are the most evil little babies ever(!)

  So I guess,like the rest of creation, I am making up a God to suit me. I think though that there are a few truths that come through in all religion and maybe those are the ones that need the attention. Care for those that are weaker than you. Love each other, be kind to each other. Don't pick on someone just because they don't think like you do or act like you do. In my religion-God could not ever be used to justify war. (which is not to say I am a pacifist-but if I am fighting for something, I am not justifying it by invoking God) There is more, but its after midnite.
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  JWdaughter

  Onthewayout said: awol, I think I know what you are saying, JW's are just another cult, so what is the answer. I am early on in withdrawing and fading from the Borg, and I have no idea where I will go eventually. I feel like I cannot trust ANY religion, and it's possible that the entire Bible was written by Hebrew Priests and con-men, not the truth at all. Or it's possible that Fundamental Christians have it all right (or all wrong). I carry my JW thinking when examining "Worldly" things, but I think that will eventually wear off. (Maybe I am wrong, do you still carry it?)

  If God exists then- If God is love and ready to forgive, then lead a good life, live by the Golden Rule. He cannot blame us for not recognizing the "Truth" and spending our whole life wrapped up in it. If a person serves God thru the WTS, I think they will be forgiven, and if a person serves God thru any "basically good" religion (Fundamentalism, Buddism, Catholicism, any-izem), or just thru his heart, then God will understand.

  I hope that's what you are asking about. Otherwise, don't over-think about it unless you enjoy that.

  I'm with this poster-ask the honest questions, but don't worry if you have all the right answers. If God doesn't make it understandable to people who can program computers, maybe it wasn't all written by God! Or at least he isn't blaming you for not getting it. Maybe the Bible is a big test to see if humans will do what they KNOW is right or do the wrong thing because someone in authority tells them to do so.(Some ancient Israelites are in BIG trouble if that is the case) I really think "living a good and decent life" is vastly underrated by most religion. If people honestly did that, instead of starting wars over doctrine and theology, how much better off would this world be? They are all 'convicted' (or SHOULD be:>) of their rightness before God. Who would want to stand in some of their shoes on a judgement day? If we are truly going to be judged-will it be on whether we submit to imperfect men properly?(According to the WT, that is the case).

  I guilted out and asked a lot of questions, tried to find a belief system (already in place) that would accomodate me. Ultimately, I kept thinking-what will I be exposing my kids to? I am worried about the VBS I sent my youngest to-do I really want him to get caught up in all that? He loves Bible stuff, but I don't want him to end up being twisted by religion like his Mama.

  I feel much more serene now that I have decided I don't have to KNOW. I can rest in what i understand. And the rest is where the grace of God needs to come into play.

  BTW, I still understand where JWs are coming from (25 years after leaving) and I understand the mind-set. I even have the same reaction to crazy 'worldy' stuff (sometimes even on this board). Yet I find that I see it from another side. A compassionate side, one that knows we do not all have the same background, experience, parents, race, income, nationality. And one that knows we are not finished yet. None of us(including me!)

  You are not finished yet. You don't need to have all the answers. I think asking them counts for alot. It took me over 24 years to realize that i don't have the answers, but realizing that has been more freeing than if someone gave me a book with all the answers in it (wait, the WT has claimed to do that, haven't they??)
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  awol

  Just wanted to thank you all for your replies. You have all helped me.

  Been thinking over the last week. I actually feel so much better now. Happier. I cried a lot last week.

  It was such a shock to come on this site and read. I am really glad I did. Things do seem so much clearer. I don't feel guilty anymore. I'm thinking more about god and what kind of a being he is.

  A mad thing happened two days ago. My son was crying in the morning (he is 11). I cuddled him and asked him what the problem was. He said he was really worried about all the starving people and the wars!!! He is very sensitive, and does NOT come on here and doesn't know I do. I have only told my mum. There is NO way he would have an idea of what I am going through as I haven't even talked to my partner about it. He was not brought up as a witness... we left when he was 1. It was like he got all the hurt I was feeling and felt it!!!! We then had a long talk about things. I talked to him so differently than I would of a couple of weeks ago!

  How amazing kids are! they surely are sent to help us out and be our freinds!! We are kind of helping each other out now.

  Thanks again xx
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  OnTheWayOut

  Just for a moment, imagine how the son would react if he were assimilated into the Borg.

  They teach you to think gloom and doom about the world and the "worldly people."
  You can deal with him seeing the news and hearing bad stuff, but what if you had to
  tell him what the WT teaches. "Jah will straighten it out after he destroys all those
  people who don't know him."

  You will have to decide what kind of religious experience to expose your son to, I am
  happy that you got some good advice. Keep going, GIRL.
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  BabaYaga

  Awesome, Awol! Isn't that the truth, kids always know... they feel before they know... and the absorb anything in the atmosphere like SPONGES.
  
  Ha. Glad you had a great talk with him and glad you had more things to say than you would have had just two weeks ago.
  
  Cheers!
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  parakeet

  awol wrote: "And I have read and read."
  
  There's part of your answer right there. Get your hands on as many books about religion/spirituality as possible. These will help you place your JW history in a larger context as well as provide some indication as to the direction you would like to go. Personally, I've found Buddhist philosophy to be very rational and comforting.
  
  Although you drifted away from the JWs years ago, it sounds like you truly left them, mentally and emotionally, just a short time ago. No wonder you're feeling distraught! When I first left the JWs many years ago, I felt as though I was adrift at sea; nothing seemed to make sense. This feeling was distressing at times, but I soon grew to enjoy the sense of boundless freedom, especially after having been in such a restrictive cult.
  
  Don't be too hard on yourself for being upset. You'll find your way.
  
  (You might want to check some of LadyLee's posts. She has written a great deal about the psychological aspects of leaving a cult. Very helpful.)
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  Seeker4

  Bodhis;
  
  Thanks! And your pic is awesome.
  
  Jaguarbass:
  
  Good post. Choose the road that best fits the facts for you. Like your pic too!
  
  S4
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  TheKings

  i feel the same way...i had left the jw's a long time ago in my mind but always thought they were probably right and i would die. i found these sites 3 days ago and can't stop reading. i'm even putting off my work to read these things. i feel so emotional about it even though it's no longer my life.

  i think it's because you no longer have the thought in the back of your head nagging you whenever you start to feel happy without their rules. you are completely free. it's breathtaking
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  crazyblondeb

  Welcome to the board!! I'm glad it helped open your eyes and heart.

  Like said before, stop and take a deep breath!!

  You have so much freedom to explore before you. For myself, and others on here, we have found our path being wicca/pagan. That's where I have found my peace, after exploring everything else.

  blessed be,

  shelley
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  unique1

  First off I re-read the bible with no JW thinking. I read Matt 24:14 in context and realized it meant something entirely differnet than I had been taught, and that is what got me started. I prayed every night as I still to for God to help me find the path he wants. This is the path I have chosen through study and prayer. Now I don't know if God is really Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, or any of the names given by different religions, but I pray to him every night. I accept the possibility that he may not exist, but I hope that he does. That hope keeps me going. I think everyone has to find their own way and their own belief. Merely ascribing to someone elses, beliefs would be doing the same thing we did while a JW. I wish you the best in your journey. It is just beginning.