I think many of us actually know how you feel. It's really nice to be able to come here and see many opinions as well. This board is GREAT!
I have recently (I'm talking, last month) decided that being a JW is completely out of the question for me. And though I've come to terms with that (easily might I add), I am not ready to jump into the arms of another organization. Before I found this board, I had made the decision to float through life, learn new things, and to be open to suggestions while being weary of any particular group.
I have been a JW all of my life, and recently I've found it extraordinarily easy to accept that we might only have this one life to live, and nothing more, so we have to live it the way we want to. My suggestion to you is to make a resolve to not cling to the Bible and grope for another religion that's easier for you to grasp. Instead, be open to another though process. (Like a deprogramming of Christianity)
This is just my example, I'm not saying it's right, but think about it:
We have evidence of human life having been on this earth way longer than the Bible says there was human life. Carbon dating isn't as screwed up as the society would like us to believe. Did you know that the Christian church immediately dismissed dinosaur bones to be tools of Satan to trick us? Just because the Bible didn't mention them! LOL
I personally feel that humans have only elevated themselves above animals, and with religion in the picture, we have assumed that we play a vital role in the issue of "universal soveriegnty" (spell that the right way, lol). But there is a very good chance that we are no more entitled to an afterlife than any other creature around us. There's no proof of a god, and there's no proof of no god either. There is, however, many topics that seriously question the accuracy of the Bible.
To me, we have invented god, religion, and the afterlife as a means of being able to cope with death. There's plenty of greed motives as well when religion is involved, as many have learned the hard way.
I'm not saying I believe everything just popped up from some soup, but I do believe that everything on earth is most likely a huge science project for aliens. And just like a terrarium of bugs, the different life forms on earth could just be prospering and reproducing. In fact, this really wouldn't even contradict the Bible as far as I'm concerned, because Jehovah may very well exist as an alien who has decided to have a hobby. Of course, I'd like to believe that they have just forgotten the whole project and will just observe from a distance. Naturally, it sounds like a dumb and crazy thing to believe, but it feels more real and more tangible to me than ANYTHING taught through religion.
Now, I am not saying I am right, but it works for me. Of course, as with anything, there's uncertainties involved, but it isn't like I have to blindfold myself to accept some doctrine and bow down to anything in order to have this belief. Now, what you have to do is endure some "I don't know" time, and let your mind wander outside of the Christian box, so to speak, and consider that something much less fluffy and frilly to be the reason we exist.
Like the possibility that there's no such thing as the right religion and that we may just live and die like animals do. It feels good to me, because an eternity with any religion would have me wishing I was non-existant, lol. I personally wouldn't want it any other way. There's massive evidence that chimps have the same complex emotions as we do. Is it fair that we get eternity and they get nada? I wouldn't want to worship a god who thinks so, because he would be a jerk for making a creature SO SIMILAR to us, even in the way they feel and communicate, and then give us center stage.
Think about this. Say that humans were here for a long LONG time, then religion is invented. People are creative, and come up with good stories and some crazy ideas. Also, throw in a half-ass explanation of spirits, who were here WAY before humans were, existing merely in another realm. Suddenly, people read and believe the book, and accept the ecplanation of life and spirits and death, so they go with the book. hmmm :)
