Need advice - marriage in crisis

by truthseeker 71 Replies latest jw friends

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  jgnat

  Over months upon months I began to slowly attempt to unravel the hold upon him that the 'tower had. Of course, 9/11/01 occurred and, aside from the immeasurable sadness on a much larger scale, I think it triggered a gigantic cult-clutching fear in him that completely up-ended my cool, calm and collected plan. So things went haywire- but then ended up okay again- probably because I had helped weaken the hold of the group over so many months.

  Detective, you just described my own experience to a "T". Cult-clutching fear. Exactly. I tell you, I was a raving lunatic for a few days when my hubby's cultic personality roared back to life. All that work, seemingly for.....nothing. Haywire is exactly what it's been like. Thanks for renewing my hope.
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  truthseeker

  Thanks JGnat and Detective, good things to consider. I will take your advice.

  My marriage is definitely worth saving.

  This religion has ruined so many lives, I don't want to be another statistical failure.

  I do attend meetings, at least once a week. I don't make close friends at the hall because there's always the hard goodbyes if something happens further down the road.

  It's a strange life, being both consciously aware of the situation, and at the same time living like I'm enjoying the spiritual paradise.

  There's so many people trapped in this situation. I can't believe how common and widespread it is.

  I've no regrets about researching the Society - mentally I am free.

  I've accepted I may always have a toe in the religion, if only to keep my wife happy.

  I think for some people, it's a "cosy" lifestyle for them. They may care little or nothing about doctrine, but as long as they have a good set of friends, a social life, and the feeling that Jehovah is somehow in control of all this, who cares about flip flops and truthfulness?

  I've been reading this board for a while and I've seen all the reasons that people leave and people stay.

  Many stay just to keep their relationships with friends and family - I don't look down on them for that, I am in that position.

  Blood is thicker than water - no one wants to sever the relationship with parents/children because of the org. On the other hand, there are those that simply can't stand it anymore and leave. I repsect them for that too.

  There's really no satisfying right or wrong answer. Neither outcome has a happy ending, unless both spouses or an individual witness is able to leave, with their dignity, honor and goals intact and are able to move on.