Purps,
I'm really sorry for all of this. I wish I could think of some comforting things to tell you; but I'm afraid that I'm at a loss for words. All I can say is that I can understand some of what you wrote somewhat. I have a very close friend who's father committed suicide about twelve years ago. He gave me a photocopy of the sucide letter that his dad wrote; because I myself almost committed suicide about a year ago.
Because of my own life experiences, I have a much deeper understanding and compassion for this kind of situation. Sorry for the pain you are going through. I, for one; am more than glad to offer any kind of words of comfort that I can. I'm glad you shared this with us, and I am sorry for you and your brother's hurt.
With love,
Arthur