the walk of shame (page 4)

Crumpet

Buttbabe - you mean opening the door to a Jdub is a DFing offence now! Whatever next? Or was it just they could smell apostabrew emanating from your home?

jgnat

Gee, it seems at least you can ask to sit at the back. And you can wait in the car afterwards. As for the scrupturality of shunning, perhaps a picture is worth a thousand words.

http://www.greenwichworkshop.com/catalogue/feb05/swindle.asp

ButtLight

Buttbabe - you mean opening the door to a Jdub is a DFing offence now! Whatever next? Or was it just they could smell apostabrew emanating from your home?

LMAO, well not quite. I was stupid enough to let the guy talk me into a study. Then next visit was an elder an Po, asking me what Im doing wrong. So I told them lol! Thats all she wrote, even though I didnt claim to be a witness for 15 years.

restrangled

I've thought about getting to the meeting just after the opening song and leaving as soon as the Amen comes. But i have to consider my wife. These people are her life and her friends I don't feel I should deny her of that. I also don't want my kids to pay the price for my situation. I do love to watch them play. And in the end, it was my screw up that hot me (us) where I am so I'll just take my lumps, however big they are, and roll with it. It is only temporary.

Nonamegiven,

Sorry,....its is in MHO you have bought into the entire concept. These people were your life and friends too, and now what are they? Isn't a wife and husband/family more important than this perceived little world? Are they more important to your wife than you and your well being?

Your screw up? In your opening statement you said that 3 men decided you were unworthy and deserving of death. I'm confused, are you writing from death row for some atrocity and allowed out for meeting attendance? You're willing to pay the price?....COME ON!

You stated you don't want your kids to pay the price for your situtation. You are allowing it right now and setting them up for failure in the future! There are other children in this world besides mentally stagnated JW kids. Get them into play groups, pre K, etc. Kids will play anywhere with any other children. Don't kid yourself into thinking they can't feel something is wrong, as small as they are they have already received the vibes and think something is wrong with Daddy. (Their little friends won't talk to you in the KH)

r.

mama1119

Very moving post. I have been there, but at the time I bought into all of it. After 2 years of shunning, I figured out it was NOT a "loving arrangement" and in fact a real loving God would not punish his followers like that.

I at one time, considered getting reinstated just to fade without the label over my head, but, then they have a certain amount of control over you again. I decided not to give them that power back.

hemp lover

There are several links to threads re: the Bible and disfellowshipping in this Best Of... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/76959/1.ashx

garybuss

I'll just say this, if somebody snubbed my wife on purpose while talking to me, I'd knock the bastard on his ass. If I took my wife to a group meeting and everybody there snubbed her, I'd kick the door on my way out and I'd NEVER go back there. Then I'd take her to the best restaurant in town every night for a month to try to make amends for being a part of putting her in that environment.

I'd never let my minor children see someone disrespect my wife, their mother. That's terrible.

No Name, I understand what the Witnesses did. I'll never understand why your wife disrespected you, and I sure as heck don't understand why you'd let her. If my wife did that to me, I'd be in divorce court as my next stop.

That boat don't float, no way, no how!

nonamegiven

Well, she didn't divorce me for what I did so I have to let her slide a bit. Plus, I did the same thing for years before I was on this side of the fence.

Sparkplug

no name- I read your writing and I was right there where I was a long time ago. sitting and walking that walk of shame. I am not ashamed at all now, and each of us must choose why we stay or leave, but I have to say that this board is so good because just as soon as I read one post I thought good point. Then another...and read another and each a good point. You have a mountain of wisdom to learn and choose from.

Decki

OnTheWayOut

You have to decide what you want Nonamegiven. Your wife did not leave you, so you cut her some slack. Still, if this is not that healthy for you, tell her you will meet at the car or corner or wherever. Take a kid or two with you if that helps. Insist on sitting near the back of the hall if possible. Get near the door during the song, otherwise. Either that, or bring a book, newspaper, or laptop computer with you, sit there in your seat after the meeting and enjoy it.

I do fully agree with Garybuss, but that might not be the case for you and your decisions about how to handle it. But don't let one act of
forgiveness by the wife totally dictate how you will deal with this. That would make her forgiving you into a way of totally controlling you. She might not seem the type, but when it comes to loyalty to the WTS, she might just try to make you feel uncomfortable and use it to get you back in line. She's a victim of a cult, no telling what she will do. Whatever you need to do, do it.

the walk of shame

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