Welcome to Weary,Cindi and Vic-ex, it's hard to keep up with all the 'new ones'!
It's a day or two since you posted Weary, how are you getting on?
Two very sad accounts from Gary and balsam. Hard to read all the sadness on one thread. I can cope with it in smaller doses ;)
Pete
my very personal history!
by weary 33 Replies latest jw experiences
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bigmouth
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Mysterious
Welcome to JWD. I think you will find that many here can relate to your experiences. I know how you feel. When I realized that I was bisexual I felt that god would surely hate me and it was only a matter of time until someone exposed me to the elders and then I would be doomed. I felt like I couldn't live up to the standards I had been taught to aspire to all my life. I found relief when I finally stopped lying to myself and realized that there was nothing wrong with me. The unreasonable standards that imperfect men were setting on me was what was bringing me down. When I stopped trying to live out of harmony with who I truly was it was like a great load was lifted off my shoulders. Jesus said his load was light, so if there is a burden there it was not placed there by divine means! I don't think you have done anything that is terrible even though you have not gone into details. I think you are a good person who wants to do write in the world so don't let imperfect men bring you down. You will NOT be condemned to die eternal death. I know from my own experiences there is nothing I can say that will make you believe this right away but I would advise you to do your own reading and research, not using watchtower publications. I think you will find in your heart that there is a good life out there waiting for you when you stop relating your happiness to remaining a "good" JW. There is no reason to live a lie. You've known how to be yourself your whole life, so stop worrying about how to be someone else. I think in time you can be the life of the party that everyone sees without there being pain behind it. Hugs I can relate to you. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to I'll gladly share my experiences over the last, hell, almost 3 years now.
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Bam412
Just want to wish you all the best for the future - leaving the religion is no easy task. I agree that you should get professional help. Can't your brothers (you said they were DF'd) assist you? I just want to wish you the best. Also Cindi. That couple who spoke about losing their child to leukemia, and not having a blood transfusion is a horrendous story. I had to sign a form when I had my son by emergency caeserean to have blood if necessary. It never crossed my mind once to say no! Although due to being brought up a JW I did have a what if alarm call in my head one night with baby kicking and not letting me sleep, and then I positively said I would have one if necessary. I had carried this heavy boy for 9months (and not able to see my feet for the last 4 months) and bonded with him before he hit the world. It's natural for any mother (or father) to do what is best for their child. How dare any religion take the right of what is natural and instinctive away from you. The JW have too much blood spilled, they are murderers and there is no escaping it. Blood saves life and there is no other parallel alternative, despite what they say. There is little done in the way of research to provide other options mainly because blood is the most effective therapy.
It is hard at first drawing the final curtain so to speak - but as time goes by its amazing how liberating it all becomes!
Good luck the both of you - be strong and live life to the max. xx
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wvpeach
Let me assure you it wouldn't matter if you had been raised with very religous oh lets say babptist or methodist parents you'd be feeling the same way.
You need to sort out whats bothering you in life. It could be one or many of millions of things.
God doesn't expect you to be perfect, look at his favorites in the bible.
they were often murder's and audulter's . So cut your self a break and your parents too they just want the best for you.
hope life gets simpler and eaiser for you.