Did you ever think you'd stop being one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by sandy 69 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mama bear
    mama bear

    Thank you for asking this pointed question. It is cleansing actually. I was a teen, with a toddler and a head filled with idealism when I was first contacted. I had come from a religiously challenged family with no particular doctrine or tradition or structure and married a man from Catholicism who was very devout as a youth but turned way off by the time I met him. I dragged him to church to create a cohesive family life I decided I wanted through worship of God. When the JW's called at my door and came in and answered all my questions and introduced me to the Bible and to God [albeit a wrong God] I was literally thrilled! Alas I had found the way to be a family united in worship! I was a sponge and there was nothing they could ask I would not comply with even envying those who'd been associated all their lives! We spent 15 yrs being most obedient, connected in the center, part of the scene of our congregation....then....we happened onto a dirty little secret that being the good little Witnesses we were required we take to the body only to be told that we were to leave it alone and not to muddy the waters...the dirty little secret? A 14 yr old 'sister' [our daughter's age] had been routinely sexually molested with her mother's knowledge by her stepfather who served as an elder in our congregation! And they did not want to muddy the waters! Long story short...we wound up on the short end of disfellowshipping because our naivete led us to believe that she should be protected from this pervert and because we would not leave it alone we were shown the back room and then relegated to the back row! With family and friends all JW's and our whole world till then being fully and centrically focused on the WTS we were nomads in a very strange land. However, work associates came to our aid, lovingly supporting us through this experience...we stayed out 8 yrs before returning. FOOLS though we were for returning we always felt being a JW was the only life for us and we felt since we'd done nothing to justify being disfellowshipped we would not turn our backs on HIM!

    We came back, were reinstated and it was really a good thing...it was the next 10 yrs that proved to choke off any and all affection, loyalty, innocence, and adherence to the org. A series of idiotic and unbelievable events were set in motion which when they all came to bear were so twilight zonian that I had to just simply acknowledge things were definitely not right in Dodge City...and beat a hasty retreat. We disassociated in 1999 leaving behind close friends and family of 3 decades and find ourselves even to this day giggling at the simple things we do freely we would be in hot water for doing were we still Witnesses...like VOTING on Tuesday! Like prepping for CHRISTMAS...like wishing someone a HAPPY BDAY...like discussing POLITICS and TAKING A SIDE! Oh the joys of just being a normal citizen of these United States like everyone else and not feeling like a sore thumb! Glory to God for FREEDOM IN CHRIST!

  • Gordy
    Gordy

    Did any of us ever think we would leave? We didn't become JW's thinking "I'll give it a couple of years to see how it goes."

    We probably all had "doubts" about some JW teaching or other. But you could apply that to any other religion a person may be in.

    Most times its seems something gives us a "knock on the head" saying "Wake up to this!"

    There are those who sit down and actually "read" the Bible, and begin to see things in a different light.

    There are those who see teachings like 607/587 dates are wrong.

    Others learn about Watchtower history the false prophecies, changes in teachings and things the WT once taught etc. In recent times its been the change in the "1914 generation" teaching, the UN scandal, the paedophile scandal.

    Then there are those of us who have suffered personal treatment at their hands. Treatment which made us think "This can't be right!" that led us into doing maybe one or two of the things above. All which eventually led to us leaving the WT.

    After all did any of us think we would ever be posting on an "apostate" forum!

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    After all did any of us think we would ever be posting on an "apostate" forum!

    Of course not. I remember the pity I felt for those standing in front of the assemblies with their signs or recorders. I felt sad for how miserable it must be to have to live with satan pulling you this direction and then that. I tried to imagine the kind of person who would be so pathetic to do that. It's kind of funny. I was frustrated trying to expain to people why we would visit and preach to people who didn't want us to come, but I couldn't even consider that the people outside of our assemblies were just trying to help out with the knowledge they had - which ironically enough, turned out to be more knowledge than I had. I was sure I was the one showing love. Ha ha ha!

    When I first walked away, I said I would never even read the info from one of these sites. Oh yes, I was very well indoctrinated. Even four years later, I didn't come to these sites. A couple months ago I stumbled across Randy Watters's site. He has a news-dohickey that flashed different stories on the screen and the one about the new kingdom news caught my attention. I have to admit that part of me was wondering if I would get some "new light" about how close armageddon was.

    What I found though shocked the hell out of me. I found a site where normal, non-crazy sounding people talked about not only having the same plethora of dysfunctions that I've fought with and tried to hide for almost twenty years, but that these otherwise normal people had found a way to escape the madness, sanity intact. WOW! Now I'm hooked.

  • Zed
    Zed

    For me, upto about 95 the answer would have been no. Whilst I knew i would never be a great minister, but i had visions of settling down, marrying (in the faith of course) and having a family. Suddenly applying a bit of free thinking to what was going on around me made me realise it wasnt right. I must have missed out on the period of 95 because I dont remember anything major..... though i missed out a year or so before trying again and finally fading away in 99. but i didnt expect to hit 21 if im honest yet 14 yrs on im still here and doing the best for me and my family. I do owe some of my business skills to the org - mostly public speaking, probably my strongest attribute :-)

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Greetings and welcome to JWD mamma bear.

    Very excellent and well written post!

    Dismembered

  • HoChiMin
    HoChiMin

    As I used to sit there early on I thought if the "new system" is like these meetings I can’t take it. Something had to be different after all it was "paradise we were waiting for. The more drivel the GB put out about their perception on their future soon now "paradise" it made me shudder. I could not put up with the thought of being in such a confining place any longer or forever.

    HCM

  • Jeffro
    Jeffro

    The facade of paradise never really seemed real to me. I recall one our school-based (JW) religious instruction classes when I was 8, where we were asked what animals we would like to have in the new system - sheesh - and I remember thinking, "I'm supposed to say some wild animal". It all seemed so very very stupid.

    Later, I thought that there was a chance that it could be true and stuck with it for a while, and then later I lost contact with non-witness friends and options seemed a bit thin, though my doubts became stronger. Then I began to study the bible more deeply and found it to be just plain wrong.

  • uriah
    uriah

    Up to 1975, when I married I would have said no. But for some reason we became victimised, but nothing you could put your finger on, it was attitudes towards us. One day after a Theo school meeting it started to pour with rain. A brother, who lived next door to us delayed leaving the hall so that he would not feel obliged to give us a lift and we didn't ask because I could sense the keep away vibes. We walked home down a steep hill and up another and got home soaked. We arrived at the same time that he arrived. We said nothing and ignored him, keeping a dignified silence and it was at that point I began to realise that these 'Christians' don't think like me. I tried to be a 'Good' JW but on my journey found that many were not practisers of what they preached and were hypocrites. The rest, as they say is history. I have found many good people in 'the world' more than I ever did within borgdom. I always remember their sanctimonius chant when you say so and so is a nice person, it goes 'Yes, but do they love Jehovah?' I enjoy meeting the JW's - we are not DA or DF - they look bewildered as we look so well and they expect to see us hollow eyed and covered in sores and despondant so they can gossip about us '... see that is what happens when you forsake Jehovah!'. We deny them that and I rub it in by expounding on what we are doing and our hopes for the future and how great we feel. Sad, i know, but as the Great Homer say's 'Yeah, but what can you do?'

  • juni
    juni

    Absolutely not! I was a lifer. lol

    Abandoned you have expressed many of the same thoughts I had.

    Juni

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    never ever thought id leave, just couldnt imagine it. left in the end after splitting up with my wife, getting no help or support from the elders and just wanting to get on with my life. i felt really 'out in the cold' for ages until i found this site....

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit