I always thought I'd leave. I didn't know how, I didn't know why I would leave. But since I was about 14 (baptised at 13), I knew I would never stay a JW my whole life. I thought maybe it would be years from now but here I am at the age of 22, out of the religion. I just couldn't take it anymore. Lieing to my family, lieing to myself. I felt like such a hypocrite. I would have a sick feeling in my stomach during every meeting. I just need to figure out where I'm going to go from here. I'm working on it and I think I'll end up alright.
Did you ever think you'd stop being one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
by sandy 69 Replies latest jw experiences
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NewYork44M
Growing up and even well into adulthood, it never occurred to me that my religion might be wrong. Now, I cannot imagine living going back.
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leavingwt
Imagining yourself happy, outside the WT, is an important first step in the Exit process, IMHO.
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EmptyInside
Growing up as a Witness, I use to daydream about it,and what a fantastic life I would have. But,in reality,I never thought I would,and I haven't officially left yet,but I'm pretty much gone.
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palmtree67
LeavingWT:
Imagining yourself happy, outside the WT, is an important first step in the Exit process, IMHO.
That is so true!
I thought I was trapped for life in it. It was really hard leaving, but the happiness, freedom, self-confidence and normalcy......were well worth it.
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smiddy
I was a convert at 19,I bought it hook line and sinker.
Within a yr I converted my girfreind and got married in a K.H.
Within a couple of yrs we had 2 children
A couple of yrs later we moved interstate away from the influence of unbeleiving family
We then became totally dependant on our new family in the "Truth"
We made freinds and asocciates built wholly around Jehovah`s Witnesses, for the next 33 years
I can honestly say, ashamedly, I would have given up my marriage,if she had turned her back on the WTB&TS,I would have sacrificed my children in refusing blood transfusions,as well as my wife, and self,to this organization....So the answer is NO....smiddy
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Botzwana
If my father hadn't died, I'd still be in.
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Crisis of Conscience
I'm glad this thread was ressurrected.
In a short, plain, and simple answer - NO.
As I type this, a memory comes to mind. I was 19 years old and attending pioneer school. I had very strong feelings for my now wife, who also attended at the time. We just knew we were going to marry each other. And with having that in mind, as well as being filled with zeal because of the school, we discussed the great opportunity offered to us to serve in a distant land as missionaries. The truth seemed so real at the time. Nothing could stop Jehovah's blessing for our spiritual desires.
Shortly after this I was accepted to Bethel. And despite some of the negative things I observed while there, I still believed this was the truth. I spent the next 10 years being extremely active, regular pioneering again - twice, serving as a ministerial servant, reaching out for more responsibility, and constantly encouraging others around me to do the same.
I never, NEVER, believed I would find myself in the position I am today. But once I reached the point of burn out from all my activity, doubts bubbled to the surface. And as Jeremiah (I think) in the Bible said, I'll paraphrase, "it proved to be like a burning feeling in my bones (or something like that, LOL)." I HAD to do research. It was then I realized something just isn't right.
It's been a somewhat rough, I would guess, almost 2 years. But suffice it to say, I wouldn't change it. Now I have found a peace I NEVER had before, even as an extremely active witness in the past. True I am still "in" for the time being. But I keep setting goals and accomplishing them.
At the moment, I'm having no regrets. I believe it's because I'm taking steps to keep my sanity in this life transition, by means of therapy.
My wife struggles with my decisions, and has even asked when I plan on stopping going to meetings or why I even attend currently. She's right. It's only a matter of time. But I think I haven't quit altogether yet for that very reason in topic, because I never imagined myself NOT being a JW.
CoC
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nugget
It was as if I was on a conveyor belt so didn't give any thought to leaving. You are brought up in a faith and expectation is you will follow it. You marry in the faith and start bringing children into it. You are faithful and conditioned to accept everything and ignore your doubts and you constantly look to the new order to put right all wrongs.
Waking up is a slow process that awakens all your doubts and gives them substance. It is silly things for example you get baptised but I don't remember making a dedication. I came out of the water and just felt wet. People behave badly you excuse them recognising their imperfection but then the reality hits you that you are expected to be perfect and they are not. Doubts over doctrine that have been parked waiting on Jehovah become impossible to ignore. When you have children you appreciate that your faith affects them profoundly. Initially I could accept being a spiritually weak person but as time went on DAing or DFing did become a necessity it was only a matter of when.
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aquagirl
No.I was a born-in.Worshipped my parents,would have done anything they said.I believe the term is brainwashed.