by minimus 559 Replies latest jw friends
Dear Diary,
Back for a few minutes. The move went well, was fed lunch, and was promised dinner soon. Not a bad deal! Have to bolt out the door and get to a piano lesson 25 miles away. And R. needs to have some info on the minds' eye. I'll see what I can do to help. Now, you stay put, DD! No more eluding me!
C...
Dear Diary,
Settling in for the evening. Loved ones off to the meeting. Sigh.... At least they - all of them - still speak to me. Some "know" me; some do not. I'm in training for the most important rescue mission of all. I must remain focused.
I'm rereading this incredible book, DD, entitled NECESSARY LOSSES, by Judith Viorst. Its statement of purpose - on the cover jacket - is:
The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies and
Impossible Expectations That All of Us
Have to Give Up in Order to Grow
In the intro Ms. Viorst explains that, while our primary idea of loss may be that of death claiming people we love, there is so much more to it: we leave and are left; we let go and move on. There are separations and departures of loved ones. Romantic dreams are lost, and we expect what is perhaps never attainable: freedom and power and safety. We learn that we are mortal. And in every connection with other people there are flaws. We grow by letting go and by losing. By leaving.
Talking openly about our personal losses - once we are ready to do so - is how I believe, DD, we begin the process of recovery and healing. We proceed at our own pace; it is a journey that zigs and zags, never actually traveling in straightforward fashion. We eventually reach a plateau where we may possibly catch our breath - momentarily - and then a gut-wrenching blow levels us, and at worst, sends us careening in a downward tumble. Back in a heap, looking up in a daze, wondering if we dare arise and, yet again, start anew that torturous upward climb. Not to forget, however - a hand reaches down to assist, a kindly voice says, "Don't give up."
I continue to climb. I gather courage with each step.
Coco
Dear Diary,
Out of doors, adoring eyes raised skyward, I see a giant, cosmic hand scattering a bucket of diamonds across an expanse of inky-black velvet. The universe has grabbed me by the shoulders and demanded my absolute attention. Oh yes, I am compelled to obey - not in cringing servitude but in true and wondrous awe. I am but a speck. A most reverent speck. This is a new and different celestial drama - one that bespeaks a vast calm of impenetrable reach.
So unlike the backdrop of the Magnificent One. A wee-hour tale for another day, another night. Does it truly matter when?
C...
Dear Diary,
However random and nonsensical the thoughts, my learned friend advises to write, and write, and then - write some more. Whatever comes to mind. Ah, yes. NPR commentator the day before states that if God had wanted man to listen to music, He would have created Haydn. Were He Himself desirous of the very best to give an ear to, He would have created Boccherini. I will for the moment eschew investigating further the Boccherini backgound backing the above as I am in the midst of a 'riting roll and I want not to break the stride.
It's apparent I have nothing of earth-shaking importance to say, yet I nonetheless am ardently expressing whatever pours forth. Perhaps I will later sort through the jumble and arrive at some sensible use of it all. P.G. Wodehouse tacked page after page of his writing upon the walls; I recall [?] it was an effort to sort it all out and piece it together in some sort of orderly fashion. It surely got published and by no means did a principal exponent of British farce and the emerging comic interplay of Anglo-American slang perish.
I, however, shall surely perish if I do not eat. And I am no longer a publisher, but I would like to find a publisher - the real kind: he who will pay for my words.
Coco
Dear Diary,
Harrisburg, PA --- Hershey's Candy downsizing over next three years - 11% of the work force, or 1500 employees of 13,000, to be laid off. Moving to Mexico, but 80% of production to remain in Canada and the USA. Lackluster sales - 10% drop.
Sounds eerily familiar - but the results to the WTB&TS will be far sweeter.
Cocoa
Dear Diary,
I've returned from another forced march. Saw a friend on a job during my walk. Have planted many a seed in his "field under cultivation." He listens intently and I carefully juxtapose my comments and observations to suit his needs. No one knows I'm an A.
We have J. in common. Bottom line - you answer to Him, no earthly entity. Scriptures only. Carefully and systematically wean the poor sheep away from the EVIL. This reverse ministry is quite a mind trip. Seek common ground. Say enough, but not too much - whet the appetite....
I'm sure I've heard this somewhere else, DD.
C...
Dear Diary,
MUSIC
CLASSICAL, ROMANTIC & MODERN
BY
EAGLEFIELD HULL
1927
TO
MY WIFE
WHOSE LACK OF INTEREST IN THIS BOOK HAS
BEEN MY CONSTANT DESPAIR
DD - had to share the above with you. I have known wives who shared their husbands' interests and, as teams, accomplished so much. Of course, it can be vice versa. The goose and the gander.........
C...
Rain and home = High activity / Summer with good weather = Hardly ever
Dear Diary,
Got a migraine during music today. Accomplished a great deal with my kiddies, only wished head wasn't splittin'. Came home and took something for it [a hammer] and slept for 2 hours. Better now.
Got brochures and much first-hand info on Al-Anon from friend. She said it's to help me, not the alcoholic. Think I understood correctly. Was so nauseated but pretended to be chipper and bright. NOT.
Am spent, DD. May return to darken your pages - later.
C...
Dear Diary,
February is usually our mildest winter month. I just came in from outside and, at 3:30 a.m., I have to say it's one of the warmest pre-dawn mornings in quite a while. Shirtsleeve weather. Located the Big Dipper. Hadn't actually seen it in some time. I think it rotates, the tip of the handle being the point of rotation, once every 23.XX hours. Can't believe I've totally forgotten about it. You don't exactly lose it. Other things on my mind?
Housecleaning job at 11:00. Never thought I'd be doing that again. Not so hard, crossing the street to do so. Way things are going, looks like such is on the horizon. No retirement - nothing. Working smart simply doesn't pan out, and I have no idea why. Not a complaint, DD, I just don't get it. But I have rich friends that are hardly happy. And I am happy.
And I am hungry. Bet you've heard that before. F.J. Haydn's "Symphony # 79" playing now, one of the "London" symphonies. England had to wait for the master as he chose to remain with his employer, the Esterhazys.
C...
