What's the most stupid comment a JW told you? (page 3)

OnTheWayOut

It's so close to the end I can feel it.

Just pioneer and Jehovah will make it work out.

That whole doctrine of "like a sailboat tacking against unfavorable winds" thing.

Hecklerboy

When I ask an elder why it was OK to eat lobster since they are cooked alive and not bleed properly.

He said that "there wasn't enough blood in lobster to matter".

So does that mean a small blood transfusion is OK?

Elsewhere

"the brothers in bethel think the end will come in 1989 because there are almost 3,000,000 witnesses."

lol... I heard the same thing, only with 5,000,000 being the number.

JWs don't realize it, but they are seriously into numerology.

mrsjones5

I was 19, unmarried, and at a heavily chaperoned youth gathering. One of the sister parents approached me, surveyed the room and then said "Well I guess this is what you have to pick from."

1970s: Satan and his demons enter our home through the television set.

1980s: Jehovah is really speeding up the work!

1990s: I may die, but at least I'll die OBEDIENT (to whom?)

2000s: Satan runs the Internet. Everything on it and everyone who uses it is under Satan's control (except watchtower.org, of course!)

All from my mom, who watches Jerry Springer, never goes out in field service, is too lazy to keep up on blood directives, and then asked me to hook her up on the 'net so she could buy crap on e-bay.

~Sue

Honesty

It doesn't matter to Jehovah what you did 10 years ago, if you aren't doing enough for him now you are not going to make it through Armageddon.

She didn't make it, either.

Died at the age of 77 after 63 years enslaved to men. May God have mercy on her deluded soul.

DazedAndConfused

Despite being the best teenager I/we could be, (and that is hard!!! LOL) my mother still had the gall to say"

"You kids are worse than worldly kids."

To this day she will not admit she said that, like so many other things she refuses to acknowledge.

stillajwexelder

The New System is so close you can almost smell it

Finally-Free

"Look at how bratty those worldly kids are! I'm glad Jehovah's going to destroy them at armageddon!!!"

W

betterdaze

My all time favorite was when a CO was screaming at me about New Light.
How it's dark in the beginning of the day, but gets brighter and brighter.

He was belligerent. I was not compliant.

"Susan, Susan, SUE! When you look out the window each morning, what do you SEE?"

It was 10 a.m. I looked out the window, where a flock of wild turkeys were grazing on my lawn.

"Well, brother, I see turkeys!"

~Sue

What's the most stupid comment a JW told you?

Share this