Women are in subjection to their husbands and to the Elders!!!!!

by Gill 109 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Gill

  I am nothing if not totally honest in this matter, CoCo!

  I was a very foolish JW woman. Maybe I'm still foolish, but certainly NOT JW!

  I used to look down on my husband because he refused to be involved in JW crap. He refused to give talks, go out in service and finally go to meetings. He refused to go clean the car park while holding our baby when an elder told him to. He refused to give prayers at the group when asked. Infact he said NO to every thing any JW asked him to do. I thought he was bad and spiritually weak. I ignored the fact that he worked hard constantly to look after me and our five children. I thought he was stupid because he wouldn't read Watchtower Shit! Infact it is going to set me off crying again to think how I used to feel about the best man in the world.......literally the best man in the world, simply because of what the p%$!ing WTBTS said. I used to look down on him compared to the JW men who today I see for what they are.....but also, in a kinder way for what they might have been if they had not been brainwashed into a cult.

  My husband always knew that the WTBTS was BS! He tried to tell me, very kindly. But I would not listen to him! I was a fool!

  These sorts of articles POISON and are POISON to good marriages.

  I'm so lucky that my husband forgave me for the way I would get mad with him about Watchtower issues. I am SO lucky!!!

  You are so right, CoCo! Marriage is hard enough, as it is! Once you add the ludicrous restrictions and instructions of the Watchtower, two people who may have had a real chance of happiness together are pitted against eachother in an unnatural position of one being superior to the other.

  My husband NEVER thought of me as in subjection to me and I was a difficult wife on purpose because I was fighting NOT him, but the WTBTS rules which I always found offensive even though I was stupid enough to think they were right because they were in that silly old book!

  Time moves on and we can't have yesterday again. But now that I know, deep inside know, that I am equal we are totally happy!

  Does that make sense?

  Many marriages will not be so lucky!
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  blondie

  I must come from an area of hard-headed JW women. Even the female JW relatives I have will read this and just ignore it. I find that the women who try hard to follow the demeaning rules for women are a) doing it until their husband gets appointed either an Ms or an elder (usually elder) b) have no JW husband and are trying to gain some status in the congregation c) are women who would be buttkissers even if they weren't JWs d) are struggling in their marriages and think if they are "perfect" JWs their marriage will improve.

  The WTS knows that if there are to be any new JWs it depends on the women either to do the d2d and studies or to have the babies.

  Not that I haven't known abusive men in the congregation, even ones that rise to some position as well.

  As to the elders interfering in a husband's territory, I don't see it happening. My husband (an ex-elder) says that the elders don't have the time nor the inclination as a group. They're too busy making money, spending money, and trying to keep their family's antics from ending their status as elders.

  JW women may seem to be giving in but I find they have mastered the technique of being passive-aggressive.

  Blondie
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  compound complex

  Dear Gill,

  Thank you for your heartfelt reply! You're right, not all marriages will be so lucky. I am so glad you found the best man in the world and he, obviously, knew his mate was worth hanging on to. You are both very fortunate. I have never spoken so explicitly here before, though in the third person. "He" feels it's time to move on and stop crying. After all, being a dad and granddad are pretty good perks!

  Love,

  CoCo
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  Gill

  Blondie - I find your last sentence very intersting, that JW women appear to have given in but have taken on a passive aggressive stance on the submission issue. What I feel is that JW women are mentally 'tortured' by this issue. How many JW women did you know who were NOT on some kind of anti depressant medication or anti anxiety drug?

  To be told constantly, over and over, that you have to be in submission, take a position of subjection, not get to do, have, be what YOU WANT to be, or do, but have to defer to a man, who may well not love, care, or give a shit about you in reality, is a constant persecution by the WTBTS against women.

  They are told they are not to question, not to speak, to constantly put their husband and family first. Now, their husbands are even advised to counsel them on what to wear, makeup, etc. No wonder JW women are so idiotic in their attitudes, behaviour etc. They are mentally torn by the ridiculous assertions of a dozen old farts in Brooklyn.

  They may well act out the way the WTBTS tells them to, but inside they are rotting away in frustration.

  CoCo - I'm glad you've found your peace with the situation you are in. It is a ludicrous situation when a book publishing company comes between two people who may well have had a great chance at a long and happy future together.

  Love

  Gill
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  diamondblue1974

  I had a conversation with my mother on this very issue (I couldnt let it lie in fact my blood is still boiling). First of all she hasnt got her copy yet and was curious as to where I had got my copy of this article; so whilst I know Slimboyfat might disagree with me, I lied about where I got a copy of the article!

  Apparently even though I read the offending articles verbatim and didnt paraphrase any part of it - (until it came down to explaining why I was horrified) she said the following:-

  • I wasnt reading it context.
  • I wasnt reading it correctly (apparently I must not be intelligent enough to read)
  • Because I wasnt in the truth, I wouldnt be able to understand (add this one to the list of cultish comments)
  • That the elders were slaves even though they had oversight and control and further she was in subjection to them!!! (spot the contradiction).

  However she did say the following things:-

  • 'It doesnt matter what the Wacktower says, when you read the bible you get the full understanding of the issue'; so I agreed with her on this and asked whether she accepts that the Watchtower can depart from biblical teaching if that is the case. She was quiet on this one and told me that I was better reserving my questions for an elder.
  • She wouldnt be part of an organisation that condoned staying with an abusive husband (although made the distinction between abuse and life threatening abuse!!) This will come back and bite her, as we are going to discuss it further.

  I am horrified as to the extent of her brainwashed cultish mind; she is so brainwashed that she can read an article and get a completely different meaning from the article than what is actually written; she defended the statements made and suggests that she doesnt see a problem!

  I have never been so angry even 15 hours after the conversation!

  DB74
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  Gill

  DB1974!

  Just what you really expected then! Reading your post made me smile, because your mother sounds like my mother. I'm surprised she didn't tell you that you 'think too much' and that you should 'stop it' and leave the 'thinking to the Governing Body'!

  Reading the article I was able to 'double read it', as in, I read it as myself, blood boiling etc and as a JW, numb brained acceptance and attempting to rationalise Bull Shit! It makes for an interesting read! However, the real me was able to overcome the old JW me. (I must sound schizophrenic! But you know what I mean).

  During the studying a reading of these articles, JW women will have to put their thinking processes on hold. Otherwise, en masse they would get up and walk out of the Watchtower Study, but not before ripping up their mags and spitting on them. There will be a fair amount of JW men who have to do the same thing. That's why the WTBTS is a master of mind control!
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  compound complex

  Dear Blondie,

  You have mentioned before that certain matters could be "regional" and that you personally are not witness to them. When you declared that elder interference in JW marriages is something that "I don't see," and that your husband says that elders are too busy with other matters to interfere, I am certain, therefore, that an anomaly must be in place here. We have a most unusual situation in these parts, where elders have been actively involved in pitting "theocratic" wives against husbands such Gill's. Husbands have been told by their wives that, should there arise a conflict as to the better course to pursue within the family arrangement, the viewpoint of the elders will be chosen over that of the "spiritually weak" husband. Elders routinely have questioned wives on their husband's thoughts, activities, etc. An oft-used phrase here is "the back-door approach." If you have ever had privileges taken away for no apparent reason, then learnt later from another elder whom you trust implicitly that the removal of said privileges was due to unfavorable testimony wheedled from your wife [or willingly provided], you would conclude that the elders have over-stepped their bounds. I am grateful that this has not been your personal experience. I personally am acquainted with many an angry JW or XJW male who would say ditto to all the above. I hope that this has allowed you a more expansive view of the war zone I once inhabited.

  CoCo
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  blondie

  I know I can't speak for all 98,000 congregations. But I do have contacts with JW trends in many areas. Don't forget the JW grapevine and the women tell the men who tell the other men who tell the women....Don't imagine that a personality like mine has never come up against a chauvinistic elder or two. But the women I know don't let the elders run their lives; that can be good or bad because some sisters needed to be reined in. I'm just saying that the basis is still there for JW husband to send the elders running for interfering and for sisters to remind the elders that they only go to bed with one woman at night, and they aren't it. I know that women don't get a fair share in the WTS. But I have used the Bible many times to get the elders off my back or that of another sister. Are we popular? Are we branded bad marriage material? Probably, but I stopped caring about the elders' assessment long before I took a walk.

  Blondie (grew up with an abusive, sociopathic father...makes the elders look like Bugs Bunny)
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  compound complex

  Dear Blondie,

  Thank you for your reply. I have a better view of all the forces in play now. All JW women are not alike and some JW men have allowed circumstances to get out of control through their own inaction. Wisdom born of pain. I appreciate your contribution.

  CoCo
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  rebel8

  I find that the women who try hard to follow the demeaning rules for women are a) doing it until their husband gets appointed either an Ms or an elder (usually elder) b) have no JW husband and are trying to gain some status in the congregation c) are women who would be buttkissers even if they weren't JWs d) are struggling in their marriages and think if they are "perfect" JWs their marriage will improve.

  I can think of some more to add to that list.....

  e) have low self esteem

  f) are of low intellectual functioning (not nice I know, but people like that tend to adopt a passive role when faced with control freaks who throw around "knowledge" and authority)

  g) are using the "I'm low on the totem pole" cop out as a way to escape the responsibility of being a freethinker (or thinker of any caliber), leader, etc.

  h) are using the "I'm governed by my emotions as all women are and thus not suited to any leadership role" cop out as a way to avoid "reaching out", pioneering, blah blah blah

  i) are just plainly passive people who avoid conflict at all costs

  j) are deeply afraid of violating what they've been told is God's command, believing they will become bird food if they do.........