Tough love with full grown kids, I am so tired.

by restrangled 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • bebu
    bebu

    restrangle, you have my condolences. I can empathize.

    My tiring teenager is beginning to act entitled too. I think it is part of the culture now. It is a big uphill battle it seems.

    Having things is more important than having character. Living wisely doesn't seem to be on his docket, just living it up. I pray constantly for this kid, I feel like I'm poured out like water (to borrow the phrase from Paul). I have to depend upon God to help him; feeling helpless is an interesting discipline...

    bebu

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    I hope I don't sound too cynical. We've been through this and worse with all three of ours at different stages. I'm currently dealing with drug and/or mental health issues with our oldest. I started to write a flip answer and thought better of it. I think you need to tell him what you just told us, and take the car keys away from him.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Restrangled...........((((((hugs))))))

    your husband is being very generous to get him another car.

    purps

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Mulan,

    The following is a description of this boy ............it is what has happened through the years.

    Here is part of the problem,.....He almost died at 30 days do the Pertussis Vaccine. After that he developed ADD which we did not understand nor was it really understood at the time by his teachers until we put him in private school.

    While in private school with his brother he thrived. He also had the problem with reading where the letters get all mixed up but the private school teachers saw it immediately and straightened him out. Yet his first words were "Two Balloons" and he also learned another language by time he was 7. His IQ and other tests were so high that at 7th grade Duke University contacted him and let him know that they wanted him when he graduated from HS.

    He also has exceptional artistic ability. His art work is breath taking and he was also recruited for the Orlando Boys Choir. He performed in Japan at 10 years old. He still has a voice to die for, Much like Cat Stevens now that he has grown.

    He is exceptionally bright, handsome, charming, and sociable but extremely sensitive. As he got older the sociable thing took over everything including grades, etc. After those social needs took over he barely graduated high school, yet had the highest scores in computers, surpassing his teachers in grades.

    This is our problem as parents,....where do you draw the line with problems and abilities? We are still trying to walk him through life. After he came home tonight do to our request to return the truck, he was so exhausted he fell asleep in his room without eating dinner.....hence my guilt, exhaustion, and questions.

    So we are still trying to help him.....but get to the point where it is costing us mentally, physically, and financially.

    I don't think there are any answers. His llittle brother just keeps saying "Thats Jeff"

    r.

  • YoursChelbie
    YoursChelbie

    i don't mean to make light of the situation, but......Why should a 23 year old man get yet another car free? How about the subway? The bus? How about working as a taxi driver, the company leases them a car, I think.

    YC

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    If you can, get him to a counselor. He has very real (but treatable) problems. A professional can guide him in making the right decisions to move on with his life.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Bebu, I so Hear you.....I have no water left tonight! Thanks for your response.

    Purplesofa,....my husband was not going to buy him another vehicle, just looking for one that my son could purchase....It gets very old, doesn't it?

    Thanks to everyone for reading and responding....parenting is sometimes the hardest job of all, even after our kids reach the age, AND WE REACH THE AGE, where we thought we would be free!

    r

  • orbison11
    orbison11

    just wondering, why is your son not looking for a veicle to buy? this is not for your husband to do....

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    I agree love is the ultimate answer, but if you find yourself in a situation with adults, adults who are behaving badly, what do you do? You realize you have been enabling them but you have to start somewhere.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    No advise to offer. Our only Munchkin - now 27, has ended up for a stint behind bars. We ended up raising three Grand-Munchkins for the past 2 1/2 years. Hopefully her head will be turned in the right direction when she gets her freedom, but who knows?

    Children are the greatest blessing and malediction in life - all in one package.

    Wifey and I are also 50ish now, so I relate. We would like peace and quiet. Instead, due to the irresponsibility of our progeny, we have six feet running thru our lives, all under the age of 8. Ours is getting tough love at the hands of those who know how to administer it harshly - I hope she learns. Sometimes our nerves are where yours are tonight.

    ((((((((((((restrangled))))))))))))))))

    Jeff

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit