Have you put your JW family behind you? Are you content with your decision (page 4)

ClaireManEater

Well, apparently they've already put me behind, why should I feel any better about them?

heretic

I respect their right to disrespect me and people important to me.

Gold call garybuss.

Ill say this one to my dad

so I have to respect your right to disrespect me??. awesome.

There's a natural animosity between children and parents and there's an automatic love and trust between grandchildren and grandparents. That's why grandparents who are Witnesses are so dangerous. The children will go with the grandparents and shun the parents

Worked the other way round with me.Childhood was shit for me and my brothers because of JW fundaMENTALIST parents.However my (worldly)Grandparents were respectful of my parents religion..the opposite of my parents views i hasten to add...and were wonderful to us kids.I mean really wonderful.That was always in the back of my mind and i have a great realationship with my surviving Grandparents now....and have completely cut off the Parents.Theyre loss.I couldnt give a shiney shite about them.

It sounds horrible i know,but thats the way it has to be.Too much shit and rubbish has gone under the bridge...many completely unforgiveable things were said when i left that stoopid religion.

On the other hand ive rediscovered some wonderful Cousins,Uncles etc etc who were once deemed unworthy!

Ive gained much more than ive lost ,thats for sure.

shunnedone

I have not been here for a while but I am feeling sad because I miss my mom. However, after reading some of these posts I feel much better.

Scully - My mom used those exact words to me in 2000. She told me that there is now a line drawn in the sand. I love how you resolved that.

Madame Quixote

"Sometimes you got to bury people before their dead." - Craig
That has been my experience, although it's very hard to do when your child wants to dig them back up. She wanted to do the same thing with her dead gerbil when she was 2.
People who shun their own families for a book publishing company they call a religion are indeed dead.
And like Gretchen suggests, even if my JW relatives discovered the WB&TS was a lot of hooey, they'd still all be dysfunctional, uneducated, myopic and mean-spirited people. Their company I would not choose.

sass_my_frass

But tomorrow, if my parents and some of my family found out conclusively that the WTS was full of bunk, they would STILL be uneducated, passive aggressive, angry people. Never say never, but I sure can't think of a scenario where we could ever get along.

Yeah I reckon that would happen to us too. What have we got left in common? This shared history that was totally bogus because every good thing that happened was on the proviso that we all believed that stupidity. If suddenly none of us did, well they'd feel as disinclined to building a new relationship with me as I am with them; it meant nothing back then so what's it going to mean now?

I have only this lingering thing with my family left, they are still able to poison me every few months because I'm trying to keep things going. I might one day decide that it's not worth it.

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

(((nic))) and ((((Cordelia)))) and ((((((everyone who struggles with this))))))))

I just want to say I understand the feelings and expressions here, so much. I just don't have the energy to put into writing about it. At this point in my life I am literally crippled for days afterwards, sometimes I don't even leave my room, answer my phone, etc. All I do is cry.

Sometimes it heals to talk about it, sometimes it hinders. This kind of thread just makes me hate the JW religion all the more. Why should any of us have to feel like we have no other choice but to cut off our family members or else conform to their standards or else deal with an emotional beating every time we interact with them?

I just feel so hurt by the things I have experienced with regards to my family, I don't think I have it in me to keep up what shell of a relationship I have with them. Some of them talk to me occasionally but feel guilty about it. Some of them downright refuse to talk to me, but talk to everyone else behind my back about me and/or stalk me online. Some of them tell me about the goings-on, and hearing about it pains me so deeply.

Sometimes I think I just need to completely let them go. Afterall, they have already let me go. Their actions prove this to me.

Anyone who thinks they are not strong enough to do this would be so surprised of what they are capable of doing, what inner strength they really have. The manipulative games they play with us, the emotional turmoil they put us through, and then try to pin on us, when it's they and their religion that gives them permission to treat us this way, it's their religion that forces them to do something so unnatural and then make us out to be the bad guys, is it really worth all this because we are related to them? They don't seem to think being related is enough to treat us with decency, so why would we constantly put ourselves through this much pain and hurt for the tiny chance they might grace us with their lives?

Cordelia, YOU are NOT hurting your family. THEY are hurting themselves. Please don't feel responsible for their feelings. They are choosing to feel the way they do.

Love and hugs and support to all of those who are struggling.

And this was me NOT writing about it! yikes.

~GG/BG

willyloman

Wonderful thread: Isn't it nice to have a place to express these feelings.

Dubs are conditioned to think that, once you leave, you are dead. Some of them embrace the concept and just write you off. Many others struggle with it and that explains their odd behavior. A few just go with their hearts, ignore the WT rules and practice unconditional love - or at least some semblance of it.

jwfacts

I have limited contact, their choice not mine, but i think it is good. Saves trouble. I still hold out hope that they will leave, but dont let it control my life of feelings.

nicolaou

My JW family seem to think they are doing a 'good deed' by inviting us round for a meal once in a blue moon. Of course, they don't ask a blessing (because Nic's there) and they won't discuss anything 'theocratic' (because Nic's there). It's all so painfully obvious that they've discussed every detail amongst themselves before I turn up with my family.

I am not a problem that needs to be sorted and I'm tired of being a tacit accomplice in this pathetic little charade.

Have you put your JW family behind you? Are you content with your decision