I've done it. I don't know his circumstances, and how far he has to take his reinstatement for his desired purposes, but it is possible to do so without getting sucked back in completely, without completely giving yourself over to it all. I, however, was never really shunned by my mother even while disfellowshipped. I was lucky. I got reinstated because she had cancer, and many people (jw's, but not only) were always over her house. I felt she would be a lot more comfortable, not just on her own part, but also knowing that I being a reinstated/undisfellowshipped person wouldn't feel as uncomfortable around them. She knew my views, though I didn't press them on her, as she would have had very little to gain by leaving the religion in her state (or even questioning it). We all make sacrifices in our lives. Some make bigger ones than others. Nobody is completely true to themselves (you can sit there and say you are, but you can't convince me). I don't know Gumby, and I don't have to know Gumby to say that it is a difficult decision for someone to make, but not necessarily a wrong one.
Your Feelings On Getting Reinstated For Family Considerations
by minimus 102 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
jeanniebeanz
Gumb-Dude! I have a few )**&%% to tell you about *&*%*((&!!! And furthermore !!!!!!!! And I am so F)&(^ing P)(&(&( at you!
In addition, you should know that in my opinion !#$%$@#@ &* because ()&^@ with a #@$# because you @%!!!! !!!! I don't even have the to tell you how mad I am.
Damn, Damn, Damn!!! !!!!
Now that I have vented in your general direction, I sure hope you find what you're looking for, and I GRUDGINGLY understand your reasons. But that doesn't mean I gotta LIKE it.
(Like, I know you lay awake at night worrying about how I feel, NOT! )
I hope the rewards are worth the sacrafice, I really do. Take care...
Jeannie
-
gumby
When you think about it, what's the big difference when someone remains a JW, doesn't get df'd but remains a Witness in name only----maybe because they don't want to be losing their family and someone who goes back WITH THE VIEW that it's only being done for family considerations??
Minimus, this is the most profound statement I've ever heard from you There have been countless threads here on JWD concerning how many here are still attending meeting for sake of family and there are quite a few who still do. I remember how mad I used to get at posters who still attended meetings after finding out the truth about the truth. I used to think I'd rather sacrifice everything I had before I'd set foot in the hall again. As time went by I read various stories here about the REASONS why some remained a witness in name only and many of their reasons began to make sense to me. Some had aging parents who didn't want to break their parents heart just before they died. Some couldn't bare the thought of losing their children. Some did it knowing they were moving away from their town and figured it would be best to just be forgotten rather than remembered as an apostate and have talk generated about them. For me, I was falling apart emotionally as I felt like I was left alone on a deserted island. My grandkids were getting older by the minute and my daughter was also getting older without me in her life. I had many friends but friends didn't fill the empty void I felt. I figured I would give it a try since many on the forum here were still in by name only and they were surviving. I also was an advocate on JWD of "fading" rather than making a statement to the brothers that you no longer wished to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and inviting heartache into your life by being shunned by loved ones when there was another option.....that of fading. My main reason for doing this was because I feared I would take my life since I was close to that point until my daughter came over and had a long talk with me with the end result being ....."even though I didn't believe the religion was truth, it was at least a clean life with clean friends I would have along with having my family back". That's the way my daughter saw it at least, however I knew I could live a clean life and have clean friends without being a witness. My reason was for my sanity and my family. If I write anymore on this....it's gonna cost ya all 2 bucks plus tax. Gumswindler Gumby
-
avidbiblereader
You go Gumby, God is a reader of the heart and he knows your pain and your desire, I have never communicated with you but I have seen this thread and I feel for all those who are in your situation. No man should judge, tell another what he should do even if he has walked in them. My sincere feelings and heart go out to you, may God bless you and your family in all you do. It literally hurts my heart to even think of this; for all those who are dealing with this. I pray that all can find the peace they deserve. What an injustice this has caused and all by some false thought on how to control others.
abr
-
minimus
This show us that UNLESS WE'RE IN THE OTHER PERSON'S SHOES, we never really know exactly what we will do in a given situation. Gumby, I'll be honest with you, my friend, if you were not so well loved here, you would've been raked over the coals. You've made it a lot easier for the next guy or gal.
-
Sassy
Gumby, I heard you got back in and understand your reasons. None of our choices are easy (unless we have no family in I guess)... I've always respected those who make the choice to be in, after having seen the WTS for what it really is.
I think pershaps I might have thought to have gone back, because I miss my mom so very much and a few old close friends... but I would only lose my dad in the process and probably my kids. So for me its a tradeoff, I lose someone no matter what.
-
avidbiblereader
Minimus,
I'll be honest with you, my friend, if you were not so well loved here, you would've been raked over the coals. You've made it a lot easier for the next guy or gal.
I hear what you are saying and I don't know Gumby but it sounds as if he was and is truly loved and respected by many here, but it shouldn't be about the person
It is the principle, not the person, of whether it is appropriate to return for family.
abr
-
minimus
The old gang would've mercilessly beaten him to death. They would've considered him a traitor. I'm glad they don't frequent here like they used to. You're right! It's about the principle, not the person.
-
avidbiblereader
Minimus, I think that the longer you are away from the org, you soften a bit unless you have the dark cloud of family and loved ones that you cannot see. I have only my daughter who is DF'd with me that I have to consider, I don't know how I would react, I think we all want to say we are strong enough not to go back, but as I get older I have become a little wiser to _______ use that word never. i cannot for the life of me, know that my daughter and I could never speak, eat, hug, talk on the phone, see my granddaughter, or whatever. This subject almost brings tears to my eyes not for me, but for all those going through it. This subject just infuriates me and I am usually a very calm and subdued person. I just see this whole thing as a great injustice to God and those who have to endure this, this is not what 1 Cor ch 5 and 2 John meant with DFing. It is taken way out of context of the original text and meaning of the day. I truly wish all could get the peace from this.
abr
-
gumby
The old gang would've mercilessly beaten him to death. They would've considered him a traitor
What old gang Min? I AM the old gang.
Actually....you may be right about this. I think the longer this site remains, the more tolerable it becomes and the more understanding it becomes. Every thought you can think of has been covered here.....except for experiences from various posters. The longer this site remains, the more stories we here and the more we learn about recovery and various scenario's various ones encounter. I actually think we have become better equiped to deal with each other than we did years ago and have become more "dub smart". Hey, did I just invent a new word?
I'd also like to thank everyone who has supported me in this as it hasn't been easy.....and still isn't easy. This is all new to me and time will tell how things will transpire.
Btw.....i'm still shinin sacs case any of ya are wonderin
Gumbuffer