Letter from my mom. What do you think of my response? (page 2)

sspo

Good job and very kind response and congr. on your weddding

I appreciate all of the comments a lot. I'm taking them all in and deciding before I put in a final copy. I know a lot of you were never really close to your mom anyway but I was. She was my best friend. I just really don't want to close her off so she doesn't ever talk to me again. Renee

zensim

Renee, I think it is a beautiful letter and you are a wonderful daughter.

I am sure you have spelt it all out before and, personally, I don't think this is the time to have another out and out about who's wrong and right. Much better sometimes just to reflect the spirit of who you are and why you left the org. This is a very painfully difficult time for your parents right now. Rightly or wrongly, whether they have brought this upon themselves or not, they are still blinded. Yet that makes their emotional pain no less real. I feel genuinely sorry for your Mother.

You will actually get through to your Mother more by not reacting about the witnesses, so she has to be in her pain and it hits home hard. The more you speak to your mum about org stuff, the more she will use that as an escape to this pain of losing her daughter and the precious moment that all mothers look forward to (the wedding). It will actually just more deeply entrench her in the org's teachings, because she will find comfort in what she 'knows to be right'.

Deep down, I am sure she does have a spark of unconditional love. By you being happy and loving and reflecting your current state, she will find it in her heart (even if it is a small, hidden part) to be happy for you. Better to flame that spark, work on getting her to a state of acceptance and reasonableness before bringing up the witness stuff again (imho).

I also agree with Greymatters: just reframe slightly the relationship you have with your new family, so it leaves the door open to your parents always.

Congratulations on your upcoming Wedding - may it be the most special day

I quit!

I think you did a good job. Your reply was short and to the point with no malice. Because it is dealing with your wedding I wouldn't try to turn it into a debate over things you don't believe. When the person my niece (JWs) was to marry called to invite me to wedding but not the reception because I was "no longer in the truth" I told him I would be more that willing to discuss with him why I left but didn't feel it would be appropriate at that time.

reneeisorym

I also agree with Greymatters: just reframe slightly the relationship you have with your new family, so it leaves the door open to your parents always.

I was talking about the future relationship I WILL have. The one with my kids .. her grandchildren. I hope she catches that.

reneeisorym

My exJW cousin is walking me down the aisle. I sent him a copy of the letter to ask him what he things and this is what he said:

Renee: I was struck by your Mom's use of "I", "me", "my", etc. Not the joy of your wedding and your happiness, but the misery and pain you are causing her. Think about the reality of this situation. Who is really at the center of this e-mail? And what is your crime? You do not agree with your parents' religion. For this you are shunned, disowned, and cut out of their lives. These are conscious acts on their part. And yet in an attempt to make you feel guilty, it is presented as your leaving them. Unbelievable, but entirely predictable. I admire you and wish you the best. As the scripture states, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me." (Psalm 27:10) Take courage! You are a child of God and don't let anyone tell you that you are not. May your wedding day be a day of joy and celebration. God bless you. Ronnie

grey matters

Your cousin is on target, I kind of noticed that too. But, ya know, what can you do? You can't control their behaivior. All you can to is try to do the right thing. And by being kind and loving, even in these circumstances, you are doing the right thing. We didn't leave the organization because we were LESS mature. We left because we are MORE mature.

Hang in there.

LittleToe

Your letter is heartfelt. Good for you! I'm also glad that you have your cousin supporting you

I love Scully's letter too, but I'm guessing that it's not your style

When their affections are divided they are unlikely to make a good choice. Better you know that upfront, rather than have them drop bombshells on you at the last minute, as mine did to my sister

Best wishes for your happy day

RAF

I like your letter,

It's simple ... straight about the why ... and still full of love for your parents.

BabaYaga

Awesome, Hon... I think it is PERFECT. It is full of understanding, unconditional love, confidence, and STRENGTH. Which e-mail would Jesus sign? You are doing great.

First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS. On your wedding, your strength and wisdom, and your new family.

Love,
Baba

Letter from my mom. What do you think of my response?

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