What is marital rape? (page 2)

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

((((((Lee))))))) - this is a very important topic - I'm so sorry for all that you have been through. Thank you for posting this.

J-ex-W

Lady Lee---- Your post could have been written by me!!! ONLY difference is that both scenarios described came from ONE husband for me. So sorry to hear you had that horror...!

Sorry you had to go through it as well. It's really hard not to think they would be just as happy with one of those blow up dolls. For them sex isn't about connecting. It's about taking care of their needs regardless of the other poerson

Abandoned said the following:

Part of the joy of sex for me is the fact that the other person WANTS to get down and dirty. The look in their eyes. The touch, the coyness and then the direct, DO ME NOW stare. Oh yeah, I don't want it any other way than with a very willing partner....

I absolutely need the eye connection if anything is going to happen. I don't understand men who think it is just about themselves

LittleToe

I feel a candid moment coming on:

Chris:

passive aggression

Now there's a thought that hadn't fully formed in my mind. To be honest I do know that I suffered some emotional damage from it, and it then interfered with my female friendships at some level. I found it incredibly difficult to let them in past a certain level. Hence I was single for over three years before I finally capitulated and properly let Diane in. This wasn't anyone else's issue other than mine - my own baggage, as it were.

Lee:
While the WTS doesn't accept this, many churches accept an additional cause for divorce with remarriage (including my own case):

1Cor.7:15 "But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances, but God has called YOU to peace."

The application being that this kind of separation is a divorce and you are not obliged to remain single.

Some nitpick over who has to physically leave who. In my own case it was definitely for religious reasons that my wife became disaffected with me, after I became a Christian and left the JWs. The WTS came between us and an emotional and intellectual separation took place. I struggled to make it work but only made myself ill. Finally I moved out before I suffered a breakdown. The divorce would follow another two years later.

I believe this is another hidden face of the WTS policies affecting marriage. I know its not entirely true to the spirit of your thread, but I do feel that a form of "emotional rape" takes place.

Gill

Not in anyway wishing to mitigate the act of physical rape in marriage, BUT surely any marriage where one has to be in subjection to another, and subdue their own wants and needs to the other is a form of 'emotional' and even 'physical' rape.

The one is always over the other and always has to give in.

This is what is wrong with a religious marriage. The man is always literally and figuratively on top, and the woman is always 'raped' in one way or another.

Wheras marriage in a non religious background and between two equal people, who actually have the intelligence to see eachother as equal is a very, very special and wonderful arrangement.

Subjection of women in marriage because of religion is an abuse in itself and leads to the other abuses being more easy to perpetrate by those who would wish to treat their spouses in such a totally abhorrent and disgraceful way.

(((((((( Lady Lee ))))))))

Lady Lee

I know its not entirely true to the spirit of your thread, but I do feel that a form of "emotional rape" takes place

By all means it belongs here. You've opened another door to the strict pick-and-choose legalism of the WTS.

1Cor.7:15 "But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances, but God has called YOU to peace."

A perfect response to the pick and choose that they prefer to teach. Wish I had seen that one years ago. Mind you my husband and the WTS did a number on my so large on my head I doubt I could have seen this for what it says.

Emotional incest is well documented. I see no reason why emotional rape would be any different

LittleToe

Gill:
What are you defining as a "religious marriage"?

It sounds like you have a particularly narrow definition (maybe you are talking about the WTS and other fundamentalists). Not all religions employ subjugation, though I do accept that it is prevalent.

Gill

LT - 'Religious Marriage' - A marriage where a couple get married and abide by strict rules that the wife is in subjection to her husband because 'God says so!' and she was made 'for' her husband. Perhaps quite a few fundy sects and even other non christian religions have this view of wives.

ButtLight

Sorry lady lee, I know this is a tough subject to talk about

When I first heard of this, I said "how is that possible, they are married!"

Until it happened to me. I couldnt believe he went through with it, with tears pooring down my face, but he did!

And how do you ever look at them the same? Give my "due" after that? Its like kissing a can of worms!

J-ex-W

1Cor.7:15 "But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances, but God has called YOU to peace."

See...and here's the sick twist: Because I left my abusive (rapist) JW husband, and later quit going to meetings--when it became painfully evident that the WT attitude/ stance is to protect the abuser and leave the abused 'exposed to the elements'--I have since been labeled the 'unbelieving one who proceed[ed] to depart,' calling the abusive husband 'to peace.'

How's THAT for sick and twisted?!!!!!!

NLQ [newbies, lurkers, and questioning]-- They get you coming and get you going. For the sisters especially,

THERE IS NO PROTECTION WITHIN THE WATCHTOWER HALLS!!!!!!!

If you are being abused in a JW household, you CANNOT depend on the congregation to support your safety and well being. You WILL have to seek outside support and GO AGAINST everything you have been taught to do as a good submissive JW to save your own sanity and save your own health.

It is NOT a matter of saving your own body and, therefore, losing your soul. If you are stuck in an abusive situation, your soul--the spirit of who you are!--is alreadylost!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to seek OUTSIDE HELP in order to reclaim it.!!!!!

What is marital rape?

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