hello...i've had enough

GoTan

I hope this finds everyone well. I feel like i am doing something wrong but i really don't care anymore, i've had enough. I am 4th generation, born 22 years ago and raised a witness and need out. I am deeply unhappy and see through all the bullshit that is this ~~religion,faith, creed~~ Cult!. The thing is i have no idea how to go about leaving. I would be the first in my family to ever leave and am scared about loosing everyone that i hold dear.

I have my education (university) and a passable social network on the outside, but feel the need to move away in order to properly leave. I just don't know if i have it in me. I have been lurking here for quite some time, and now feel the need to move things forward a bit, hope you'll have me

megsmomma

Welcome!! Take the time you need to decided weather you want to "fade" out or just DA yourself. It seems there are pro's and con's to each. It's nice to have you here....congrats on your getting free (at least in your own mind)!!

UnConfused

Welcome. It sure is scary to think about leaving and all the implications. Are you thinking of fading or Disassociating yourself? Don't DA too hastily would be my opinion. If you could fade and then keep relations with your family you may be better off. Either way keep posting your thoughts and considering other folks experiences.

J-ex-W

GoTan----------- Welcome!! Glad you're getting clear about what you want. Good luck to you in carrying it out. Hope to hear more from you. We will be here for you.

fullofdoubtnow

Hi GoTan,

I am very pleased to meet you. Whatever you decide to do, you will always be very welcome here.

OnTheWayOut

You will have to decide what to give up- some personal freedoms or JW family and friends
and perhaps you will decide one thing, but fail and lose the other anyway.

You can just walk away- You may eventually be hunted down by the elders. You can
decide to say nothing to them. It's possible that they will not DF you, but who knows
better than you or people in your congregation. In order to avoid the DF, some of us
have chosen to FADE away instead of walk away. We just get weaker and weaker.
You can read about that on these boards or ask more questions. The downside is
that you attend meetings and have to tolerate questions about your ever-weakening state.

Others just DA or allow the elders to DF, then of course, family and friends usually
stay loyal to ~~Jehovah~~ Watchtower, and shun you for the rest of their stay with WT.

I am a fader, myself. Read my profile if you want to. I am cutting back now, I know it
is a cult. I like to refer to it as the Chicken Little Cult.

greendawn

Welcome GoTan just like so many other people you realised that this organisation is not worthy of any loyalty but as other posters mentioned you may want to take the slow way and fade away so as not to suddenly find yourself shunned by all JW family members. Meanwhile you can strengthen your outside networks.

OnTheWayOut

feel the need to move away in order to properly leave

Fading is easier if you move away at some point. Not necessarily
from family (although that could help) but to a new congregation
where you can start out as weak as possible. Others move and
never set foot in a congregation, after establishing in their old cong.
that they are weak JW's. There are even a few who claim they can
get your records forwarded to a bogus elder and simply disappear from
JW concerns.

The point is, moving is a help to some, because elders don't bother to
hunt them down- either because they don't know where to find them or
because they don't care to help a new weak person.

Personally, I recommend this for the lone JW (no spouse or children to
blow his cover). You give a correct Kingdom Hall to mail your records to,
after having met the brothers, and you give the new Hall the wrong address
to which you've moved, so that they can't find you so easily. After you are
sure they will get your records, virtually (or actually) never go to the KH again.
You were never DF'ed, your family can decide how much association to have.

kristyann

Welcome GoTan! You're definitely not doing anything wrong. We're glad to have you and to meet you. Hope that you stick around. :)

collegegirl21

Welcome! I know how you feel about losing your family. I am deeply scared of actually leaving too and my parents are starting to give me ultimadums and that is just driving me insane. I moved home to help out, but I cannot take it anymore. I am slowly starting to fall apart again and that isn't healthy for me at all.

If you ever need to talk, I am in college right now and I bet I can relate to some of the stuff that you are going through.

~CG 21

hello...i've had enough

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