Hi and welcome!
YC
hello...i've had enough
by GoTan 40 Replies latest jw friends
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garybuss
Hi GT, We all live within boundaries. Sometimes the benefits make living within boundaries plausible, like living in a development or condo with a homeowner's association. I might not like all the rules of the home owner's association but I'm willing to compromise.
Same with the driving rules like the speed limits. I had to conform my behaviors to benefit from the privilege of driving a car.
When I lived with my Witness parents, I tried to give the appearance of complying with the rules of the house. I left home for almost a year right out of high school, came back for 2 years and left for good when I was 21. I was a yo-yo Witness for years. Up and down. I quit unpaid door to door religious literature sales and sales meetings when I was 30.
The problem my parents had with me was caused by their own stupid idea that they could control me after I didn't live with them anymore. They had zero success with that.
I'm a poker player and I always call. So if you threaten me, I'll call you on it to see if you're serious. If you threaten to shun me, I'll call you on it. Money talks, bull$hit walks! What's it gonna be? If you come at me, you better kill me with your first shot, cause you ain't gonna get a second and I'm gonna come after your ass. THAT'S how I treat Witnesses or any other jerk who thinks they can mess with me.
You can shun and snub me, but if you take that road you better be ready for that to be reversed and I'll shun your bad ass till you die. Any questions? -
troucul
Moving away helps. Talking from experience. No matter how obstinate one feels, no satisfaction can be gained from shunning people who need to shun you in the local supermarket, theatre, restaurant, etc.
If you decide to come to AZ, I'll be around...
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Madame Quixote
Congratulations on your realization that the JWs are full of it! Welcome home! There are a good number of ex-JWs in the UK; maybe you could hook up with some of them at a meetup or two and get some ideas for how to leave home . . . just a thought,
Whatever you do, don't do anything rash; take your time and plan it out stealthily. Good for you, that you have your education. That should make things a bit easier (unless you're a theologist).
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Abandoned
Welcome GoTan. I don't have any advice for you since I was the only on in my family who was a jw, but you've come to the right place to get your answers.
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MsMcDucket
Hi GoTan, we've got a lot of faders in here; so I'm sure they'd be willing to tell you how they did it. Moving to another city doesn't sound bad, especially, if you're not sure if you want to leave yet. You've got a lot to lose since you were in for so long and have so much family involved. You, also, have a lot to gain by leaving.
Darn those Witnesses and they're shunning!
Welcome to the forum.
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Hortensia
what no one has mentioned yet is that you will be far happier outside the JW organization than you ever were in it. You'll be in charge of your own life, making your own friends, deciding how you want to live, what matters to you and what doesn't matter. It is so great to have your own mind and run your own life, even if you screw it up.
What's the worst that could happen? Quit going to the KH, get involved in other more interesting activities, and when anyone asks you why, say in a pitying voice that you just have to be honest with yourself and you just plain don't believe any of it. Refuse to get involved in discussions, just smile and say "there's no point in talking about it, I'm not going to change my mind." Use the broken record technique, just keep smiling and repeating yourself. Let them get excited if they want to, run around in their little JW circles, call down curses on you and threaten you with the big A. It doesn't matter because it's all a lie, and you know it. If your family shuns you the best thing you can do for them is to be a happy well-adjusted individual who lives a satisfying life - they'll watch and compare, even if they talk the party line.
Garybuss - I feel the same way you do. I run my own business and occasionally a customer will, instead of just saying what he or she wants, start a conversation by saying "I don't want to sue you but..." Whenever anyone pulls that kind of crap on my, I jst tell them I don't respond well to threats and they need to talk to me a different way or we can meet in court. I'm really happy to have my lawyer talk to your lawyer. Most people back down if you call them on their crap. I am a real believer in calling people on their crap, in a pleasant tone of voice with a smile on my face. Piss me off, pay the consequences. That however doesn't have anything to do with this string of posts - just an aside.
I repeat, you'll be far happier when you take the steps to get out of the JW organization, and it's the kindest best thing you can do for your family too. I was the first to leave, and now both my sisters and their children are out too, although it took a few years.
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misanthropic
Welcome to JWD :)
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seattleniceguy
Hello GoTan,
Congratulations on achieving mental freedom. Here's my two cents on the feeling of entrapment that you're now experiencing. When I first began to talk outspokenly about my disagreements with the Watchtower worldview, it became very obvious, very fast, that even if I avoided being disfellowshipped, I would still lose all meaningful relationship with my friends and family. Sure, I could be careful to avoid touchy subjects and still have nominal contact, but you know as well as I do that they'd still treat you as if you had the plague.
I also realized that while still in, I'd find myself looking over my shoulder every time I said "good luck" or did anything else that strayed from the Watchtower party line. For me, making a clean break was the right decision. It allowed me to get my life on track and put the past behind me.
Obviously, everyone's situation is different, so take my experience with a grain of salt. I hope that helps!
SNG
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Abandoned
Oh and check out these awesome videos at youtube: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=hopefulatheist
You may recognize the man talking...