Shocker!!!---leading up to my plan

Junction-Guy

Well folks, I started writing a big post and then the keyboard acted up on me, so I lost everything I was saying. First of all Amanda was right, this isnt anything I can just walk away from, it is'nt something that I can just put behind me and move on. This involves my sexuality and my childhood experience growing up in the JW Cult. I have been confused for many years now, wondering if I am gay,straight, or bi. This all stems from some negative childhood experiences that I suffered. To put it bluntly I have been struggling with a form of same sex attraction for many years. No one has known about this, not even Mom or Darin until recently. I finally told Amanda about it this past week, and it has helped her to put some things into perspective.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I lost a good post about my childhood, so I will have to re do that again under a different title. I will also do another post about my plan and give some more of the details. I have been on these XJW boards for many years and out of fear have been reluctant to post under any topics regarding homosexuality. This has been a big part of my experience and due to fear I have totally avoided those conversations, and in doing so I feel I have been forced to supress a ceratin element of my childhood-----No more, I have nothing left to lose. I cant keep these things bottled up inside me anymore, Im gonna confront this head on.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Keep watching this board, and I will post 2 more topics here, either today or tomorrow, they will be titled "my real childhood experience" and "My plan-fully revealed"-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sorry to keep everyone waiting, but due to the personal nature of this I could not tell anyone until I had the chance to tell Amanda. Amanda has been very supportive, and has been a true friend through all of this. I still love her to this day, and I regret that out of fear, I was unwiling to seek any counsel that could have saved our marriage. I had planned to keep all of this stuff bottled up with me until the day I died, but after losing Amanda I realized that nothing else mattered and that I had nothing else to lose, so why suppress this issue?---------Dave

uwishufish

Great post Dave.

You have a PM

misanthropic

I'm looking foreward to reading your other posts. Hope you don't mind me asking but have you been to therapist to discuss everything your going through, just with the issues that you seem to be dealing with now, seems like a lot to have to sort out on your own.

Junction-Guy

Thanks unwisufish, I sent you a PM, which you probably have read now, and yes I would be interested in attending a future XJW meetup in Nashville.-----Misanthropic, no not yet, but that is part of my plan. Dont worry about me though, the worst damage I have already suffered. Im slowly picking myself up out of depression, and my future plans will help me towards a healing and a sense of vindication.

Abandoned

Buddy, you be who you are. If it's gay or bi or straight, I don't care and I love you either way. I was molested as a boy, but not by family. Anyway, I love women, but that's just me.

Junction-Guy

Thanks Abandonded, Im doing fine right now, Im glad I was finally able to post this here. I just couldnt keep silent anymore. It was ripping me apart. As for sexual abuse, I dont remember any, but there was alot of abuse-emotional. I will post the rest of my story tomorrow, along with my plan.

Junction-Guy

I will bttt this topic in the morning, so the day crowd can have a chance to see it.

Jourles

From your first topic, I couldn't figure out what you were going to say. Now it is clear. Crystal clear.

Don't worry Dave, I'm pretty sure no one is going to come out and say they are not going to talk to you anymore(well, I can think of one particular person on this board as of recent).

Anyone who is willing to bbq WT's with me is alright in my book.

tall penguin

Hi Dave. I look forward to reading more of your experience and supporting you on your journey.

Big hugs,
tall penguin

Junction-Guy

Thanks Jourles and tall penguin.

Shocker!!!---leading up to my plan

Share this