by OnTheWayOut 48 Replies latest jw friends
Don't you just not turn one in at all, or is it like the United Way where they demand you turn in your form, even if you're not donating?
Either way. Turning in ZERO is saying, "I did not forget to turn in the slip."
It's a little more "in your face" and at the same time, more obedient than
not turning in a slip. Actually, for February, I didn't bother to give a slip-
I think they know what my time is.
Greetings OnTheWayOut,
You're an addtion to the wave of competent men (unreplaceable really) that are leaving that sick controling cult. Isn't it nice that the CO had that "lets get this over quick, suppers on the stove and I'm hungry" attitude, after all the hard work you've no doubt expended doing territory maps. I've been there and done that. It's a large task. And to think you used up 15 mins of the CO's precious time.
As SOON as one dosen't toe/tow the watchtower printing corp line, it's..... who are you? Or NEXT!
They just suck, don't they?
Dismembered
Easy buddy, eeeeaaasssssyy. That's what I meant about the confrontation. Don't piss anyone off needlessly. That's exactly what they would love for you to do. The greatest statement (vengeance), is a life well-lived. Just be happy, happier than you've ever been in your whole life. That will confound them more than anything.
Continue to discontinue your disclosure of your FS report.
Your bro(not in the JW sense,in the human sense),
Nvr
W. Once asked-
OTWO,
Did they ever announce your deletion as an elder? I missed that.
Yes. The week after the CO visit, they announced it. It took 8 weeks from my letter to
get it announced. In the meantime, they asked me not to tell anyone that I wasn't an
elder, but when they asked for help, just refer them to someone else.
While people are intelligent enough to figure something out, I obeyed- because these are
the men who I wanted to have avoiding a judicial committee later. Best to just cooperate.
I immediately (in August) turned over Book Study Overseer, Territory Servant, stopped
giving any talks in any meetings (had a public talk sheduled from a new outline, but cancelled).
This all backfired on the WTS. Because no announcement was made for all that time,
publishers still assume everything is fine with me, just missing meetings for work. Many
are thinking that's why I stepped aside- work. I am not shunned by the congregation, and not
even marked. I know that won't hold up, I don't really care, but the wife hopes it holds up.
I keep telling her, when she says how "we should visit this family, we should make plans after
the Convention, etc." that eventually, people will not "invite" me in on their gatherings. I try
to keep her well grounded in that reality. Things are just starting to change on this at the KH.
I found it sad that after knowing them for many years no one made any effort to try to stop me from leaving but on the other had it proved my point that the whole this was based on conformity and fear.
I would think they probably get orders from the society that the best way to deal with people like you is to ignore you and hope you just go away.
If they confront you others would hear about it and they really don't want anyone to start thinking.
I quit has it nicely stated. Blueblade, I can totally relate to your input, too.
Adding to my wife's situation-
A good friend of hers is a pioneer sister. The pioneer studies with a lady who is really
a donut short of a dozen. The wife whispers to me at the last meeting, "I would never
have the patience to deal with her." So I ask if she would even try. "NO WAY."
Not one to miss an opportunity, I open my Bible to this-
She says it just wouldn't work. She doesn't have the patience. I remembered a comment(Luke 13:24) 24 "Exert yourselves vigorously to get in through the narrow door, . . .
OTWO:
Thanks for some insight into your situation. I've read some good advice here: no confrontation. That just justifies their actions against you.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last few months I just had to bite my tongue and smile, grit my teeth and yet nod my head. My exit is
progressing on my own terms, and I will not let them dictate the pace. Congrats on your move. And all the best!
And just by the way, elders--- the majority of them--- I think just simply do not know how to care. This is a religion that focuses on SURVIVAL, which
is different than focusing on PEOPLE. If two people are out in the middle of ocean and there's only one life vest, each one has as much a right to it as the
other even if a struggle is necessary to determine who gets the life preserver. With JW's it is no different: their focus is on hanging on to the life vest for THEIR OWN
life and they'll beat anyone away who threatens the hold they have on the life vest. This of course is so much different from Christ's message: give your soul
in behalf of your friends for there is no greater love. Your CO couldn't even give up his lunch!
Either way. Turning in ZERO is saying, "I did not forget to turn in the slip."
It's a little more "in your face" and at the same time, more obedient than
not turning in a slip. Actually, for February, I didn't bother to give a slip-
I think they know what my time is.
If you count the time that you post here you could turn in a negative number like -5 hours or something. That would get them going.
OTWO - there seems to be two camps that post here. The ones who the elders called on and "encourage" them to return, they seem stressed because they were chased. Then you have the others that say that no one called on them to get them to come back, they seem upset that no one chased them.
We are lead to believe that we are dearly loved within this organization. I've heard that my whole life. So it is very confusing when no one from the congregation--especially elders--show any interest when you are not there. The first time I quit going to meetings was not with the intention of fading. When the elders did pay me a visit, it seemed that spending half an hour with me was killing them! Keep in mind, this elder had known me since I was a child and had given my wedding talk. He really did not know what to say when I asked him why I was not worth more than a half an hour of his time!
So, when you are intentionally fading you don't really want to deal with the elders, but in the back of your mind you are wondering why they don't love you enough to "save" you!
So, when you are intentionally fading you don't really want to deal with the elders, but in the
back of your mind you are wondering why they don't love you enough to "save" you!
Thank you. Well put.
And while it is not my current problem, those who say they are being chased virtually always
complain about the "taskmasters" chasing them, not the shepherds. The organization trains
them to say, "Why aren't you at all your meetings?" "How could you miss an entire week/month
of preaching?" "You need to comment at the meetings." They would like the elders to be
able to listen to their doubts/concerns/personal problems. Maybe they aren't able to provide all
the solutions, but they could do research on practical advice.
I think I finally realized that, and
worked really hard at it my last year or more as an elder. I remember helping people to see that
perhaps pioneering was too much for them, I counselled a sister contemplating divorce from an
abusive husband (already separated for years) that this organization would put restrictions upon
her, but that would not affect her relationship with God (essentially I said that I might feel inclined
to do the same in her situation, and I could live with the consequences).
