update on my divorce situation

by depressed 62 Replies latest jw experiences

  • depressed
    depressed

    I'm shocked! If you remember my experience, in a nutshell, basically my ex-bethelite ex pioneer husband cheated on me with an older "worldly woman" from his job and left me suddenly. I had no idea that we had trouble with our marriage, however, when I discovered the love letters from the other woman, he moved out, and a week after that, I received divorce papers. So after 10 years of marriage, it all comes suddenly to an end.

    Now, remember - he comes from a very "spritual" family. His father is the PO, his mother regular pioneers, and his sister is in Gilead. So I figured that although I had not been attending meetings, that I would be able to call his parents for support. Keep in mind that they live in a different State. Well, my soon to be ex husband got offended after he found out that I did this, and he proceeded to contact his parents again to slander my reputation, and blame me for the demise of our marriage. Since then - since last year March, the entire family has treated me as if I'm disfellowshipped. They are approving the divorce, without telling me why. However, last time I spoke with them - this past december, they absolutely did not believe that their precious son was having an affair. You can search on my earlier postings to get more details on my story.

    Well, guess what? Just this past weekend, I received a "credit" tip from my bank, informing me that there has been a major change in our credit. Well, when I take a look, lo and behold, there is the other woman's address listed on his credit report! Apparently, they bought a vehicle together.

    So do you know what I did?? I took the entire credit report and emailed it to his entire family - including the nuts in Gilead, and I told them, "Do you see the other woman's address??? He is having an affair. Hope you are happy accusing me of being the liar"

    What was that for?? lol

    His "worldly" other woman sent me the following email: (J is my soon to be ex husband):

    Depressed, I can see you have your facts all wrong again [...]

    I can see that is killing you not to have all the details on what J is up to - It has been a year since he ended his relationship with you and I can only imagine this is a difficult time for you. Let me see if I can clear up a few misconceptions for you.

    It was not J parents that financed his divorce it was me. I paid for the very expensive lawyer. We flew to Michigan with my boys in late August to meet Jeff's parents and they were surprisingly warm and welcoming of his new family. We wanted to be sure to go and visit before I got too far along in my pregnancy - Just incase you get another email alert on the credit report from Babies R Us, we bought an additional crib and changing table for the nursery - no one was more surprised than us that we are having twin girls (due on or around May 14th) - Just incase you are worried about my tired ol' eggs, we had an amnio and surprisingly for a gal my age the girls are healthy!

    Jeff's parents did give him a down payment for the new minivan but I co-signed for the loan - want to be sure that our precious cargo is safe driving back and forth - Oh, we bought a bigger house together too - in the same neighborhood where our other house was - we just needed more room for our growing family.

    Did you want me to send you a picture of the house? Did you really want a picture of me? I am fatter than the last time you saw me but I am happy to send one if you want one - Also, if you continue to need details on your ex-husband (Did the judge grant your divorce on November 9th???) I can add you to the distribution list for the baby pictures and birth announcements.

    We exchanged rings on the beach this summer - it was a beautiful ceremony with our families and closest friends. I can see that your emails to his sister and parents have cause quite a chuckle as you have continued to represent yourself as the "Crazy, disconnected, delusional, bitch ex-wife" everyone knows you to be - it is ok though, we all just laugh about it now. We laughed at the phone call home to Michigan - it was just further proof to the parents on how delusional and disconnected you are from your old life - you didn't have a clue then, and you don;t now. For the record? It doesn't matter whose fault it is - it is over and has been for years! Jeff's parents have further evidence that he made the right choice to end his relationship with you as you continue to prove yourself to be very unstable.

    In the future, if you have any additional questions about what is going in my neck of the woods, why don't you just ask me. I have not emailed you because you asked me not to. I am happy to share it all with you if you really want to know - you just have to ask.

    Maybe today is a good time to get on with the rest of your life - you seemed like you were making some progress there for a while - maybe it is time to return to therapy for a little refresher, pick me up!

    Best,

    Colleen
    (she uses my soon to be ex husband's last name)

    End of email

    So do you guys think that this is "proof enough" ??

    Funny thing is that I don't know if she's lying or not. I spoke to his father just 3 months ago, and he was still denying that his son had an affair. However, the father told me that if the elders contact him, that he's not giving them any information. Now that latter part of his comment really raised my eyebrows. But, I know that she lied in this email. For example, she claims to have gotten married, but we are not even divorced. Also, she claims that she's having twins, but she's 46 years old. (I guess everything is possible, but who knows). She also claims that she paid for the divorce, but his dad told me that he did. And another thing - why couldn't they just tell me what's going on??

    Anyway, I thought that I log this experience here, just to show the hypocrites for who they are. I'm still deeply shocked at the religious hipocracy more so than I am about my husband's adultery.

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Wow, it sounds like such a soap opera. Sorry for the situation, it sounds stressful. Is the other woman a JW?

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    It sounds like your ex and she deserve each other - I think you should totally drop this for your own mental, emotional and physical health. Scum like this really aren't worth wasting your time on. And if she is pregnant as she says (very possible at 46 and twins - indicative of IVF assisted pregnancy??) well I wonder how long it will be before your hubby moves on to someone else. I assume you don't have children between you?

    Also as regards expecting support from his family? Well you seen the product of their upbringing? What makes you think they are going to be any more decent as human beings?

    You have had a lucky escape and should be celebrating it instead of dwelling on the hypocrasy. I wish you all the best and make sure you look out for the signs next time!!

    xxx

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Also--are you going to send the e-mail to his family? It would be interesting to find out who is lying, her or the so-called goody goody JWs.

  • anewme
    anewme

    My Dear Depressed, I too am just in shock! That is truly the meanest letter anybody as ever written to anybody. Historically there might have been meaner ones, but I cant think of them now! That woman is absolutely horrible! I too dont believe a word of it! Her meanness gives her lies away.

    What can you do? I forget if you went to your KH. Oh yeah, you did that. You are the dfd wife trying to get her good JW husband in trouble.

    OMG! I wish the angels in heaven could just whisk you away to a safe serene place and fan you and calm you down and whisper sweet words in your ear.

    ((((((((You poor baby!!!!!!)))))))


    What rot!!!!


    Well Depressed, you have every reason to be depressed, but darling those people want you to kill yourself and you musnt give them the satisfaction of hearing from you again!

    If I were you I would drop out of sight and let them wonder what had happened to you until the day you can hold your head high with a smile on your face and laugh at the day you ever knew them all!!!

    Thats what I am working on.

    Those words of hers where she said "We laughed at the phone call to Michigan! You didnt have a clue then and you dont now!" Ooooooooh that was so hurtful! And the denial of your inlaws!!!!!!

    KICK THOSE LOSERS TO THE ROAD!!! GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND OUT OF YOUR HEART!!!!!!

    THEY ARE AWFUL AWFUL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

    I am so sorry for you to have to go through this.


    Sincerely,

    Anewme

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    I think your husband is stressing out about this and that he may be trying to do a little backtracking, which is scaring her. He might have left her. That woman's mad about something!

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    The older a woman gets the more likely she is to have multiples. It doesn't have to be invitro.

  • anewme
    anewme

    You know, I think he left you for my husband's sister!!!
    Nah, even my SIL is not THAT mean.

  • brunnhilde
    brunnhilde

    Depressed, just reading that smug gloating letter make me feel sick for you. I'm so terribly sorry that not only do you have to endure her smarmy attitude, his family is supporting him to the eyebrows. Sadly, I'm not surprised. There are absolutely two sets of rules for people in the Borg. If you're the "right" kind, the most atrocious behavior is overlooked or brushed aside; if you're not, hell hath no fury like the spiritually blood crazed JC! You've got my sympathy, my empathy and my rightous indignation on your behalf!

  • anewme
    anewme

    The fact that your divorce is not final yet is the most damning evidence the two have been shacking up and may have parented.

    You have your two witnesses right there Depressed. Yours and hers.

    Go to the elders with this latest email. Present it to them as further proof of his sinning and lies.





    Maybe the law would care to know he has remarried.


    But all of it could be a goad to get you to behave crazy all to their amusement.


    There are sometimes when fleeing a situation is the smartest thing to do....like when you are in a swamp with crocodiles!!!

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