Wow! That was pretty drastic remodeling her room before her scent was gone from it. She's 16 years old, a time when all children question their parents. Curfews, school grades all things that kids struggle with when they are trying to find themselves. From the days of Leave It To Beaver kids have questioned their parents in their teen years. Is she doing drugs? Sleeping around with everyone? Has she become a thief? The grass is always greener on the other side, for all of us, adults included.
My husband passed away the year my children turned 18, 12 and 13. I went through all of this without the help of anyone. Let alone a second husband in my home. Today my children are 30, 25 and 24 doing fine and all living and working on their own. Forget about the back child support, it was your job to fight for it in the courts. Forget about not sleeping with your second husband, that was your choice to marry and stay married to him. Why is it OK for you to make all these errors which affect your daughter but she is not allowed to explore herself? Is this a case of Do As I Say And Not As I Do?
If you love your daughter stop pushing her away. Get rid of the second husband, who from what your saying is frustrating you to the point your daughter suffers. Unless he has a medical reason for not sleeping with you, I'd be worrying about who he is sleeping with! I don't agree with what your daughter is doing, but I do know that it is your job to provide the safe loving home and deal with it when she acts up like all children do. How is she going to grow into a fine young adult if she is not allowed to make some mistakes? Being a parent isn't easy, especially in these days, but it's not impossible to have a good relationship with your child if you really want to. Sometimes you have to bite your lip till you draw blood and let them grow.
You have to be the rock in her life. More so now than ever before. According to what you say about her father he's bound to let her down. If she can't turn to you when this happens who do you think she is going to turn to? I shudder to think. I'm sorry for being so harsh but I am sick and tired of parents who call it quits the minute their kids start trying to have a mind of their own. Your child is not a toy you bought in a store that when the leg breaks off or the hair gets messed up you can just toss in a closet or worse yet throw away. Suck it up and take it to prayer, if you really love your child, your flesh and blood get it together before you destroy her future for good. If you built a strong foundation for her to grow on then you need to trust in that foundation for it will hold. If on the other hand you have been too busy trying to please everyone else you owe her an apolgy for neglecting her.
