I went to the Memorial. (page 6)

Gill

Sunspot - You make me think! My husband says that he doesn't care that his family completely ignore him even when they meet him in the street and with the children. Perhaps he's hiding his pain. I say to him that it must hurt. He insists that it doesn't!

RichieRich

Thank you so much for understanding, and for putting things into perspective, Annie.

juni

Hi Richie!

Wowzers!! While reading your post I was sweating and I've been out for 14 years +!!

You handled it all very good. And so did your girlfriend.

Hugs, Juni

Sunspot

Sunspot - You make me think! My husband says that he doesn't care that his family completely ignore him even when they meet him in the street and with the children. Perhaps he's hiding his pain. I say to him that it must hurt. He insists that it doesn't!

Gill....that was my intent....to get people to think. There HAS to be pain in your husband's heart...these are HIS FAMILY! I am not a psychiatrist, but it seems to be common sense that some will try and pretend things don't hurt and try to convince themselves of that by burying these emotions.

There is ENOUGH pain in the world to deal with....WHY creat MORE if we do not have to? Shouldn't we be doing everything we CAN with our families to insure we are NOT purposely inflicting emotinal pain on them? This course the WTS says to take, does not make sense to me....but then...*I* don't interpret scripture and write for the Watchtower either.

Sunspot

Thank you so much for understanding, and for putting things into perspective, Annie.

You are most welcome, dear Richie!

hugs,

Annie

anewme

Richie and his mom are very much alike. And they love each other very much. It is killing them both to be estranged and on opposite sides. But I think his mom will be the one to give in. But it may be a long war Rich. But if you keep showing up yearly, the shock will wear off and people will accept you as you are. And they will actually all be glad to see you, including your mother, who will show more tact and courtesy next time towards your girlfriend. Many hearts are very forgiving. These will comfort your mother and tell her your presence on Memorial Night was a good thing. She will say, "No, he was there simply to hurt me!"
And they will tell her, "Well, you know, he is a man now. He's not your little boy you can control anymore"
Their comments will do their work on your mom's heart and she will have to give in and give you permission to be your own man Rich.

I really think the next time you see your mom she will be better behaved. Letting go is a hard lesson for moms who spend their early lives protecting and correcting. Remember even Jesus had to remind his mother at the wedding that he was now his own man and no longer taking orders from her.

Anewme

johnny cip

richie ; no balls you didn't eat the bread

whyamihere

(((((((Richie))))))))

Sometimes we do what we have to do! I think your reasoning and choice of words were not only classy, but shows tenacious determination. I also love the "non-smoking" comment! Classic!

It was beautifully written and I admire your wit, strength and serene honesty. Not only did you speak your mind, you did it in a modest tone - nothing like your mothers egotistical overbearing performance.

Right before my mother shunned me, I told her this: " I would rather you make the decision of shunning me, because I could never do such a thing, or be able to live with myself." This was the last thing she heard from me.

Being a mother myself, I could not possibly shun my children for any reason. In the future, I may not agree with thier ways/lifestyle (which I doubt because I am open minded) I will always love them and be there for them. With that in mind, I never had a mother - she is a egg donor. So why be sorry for a loss that I never had. My door is open to her, but my heart is closed.

I love you Richie!

Brooke

GoddessRachel

I've made my mom cry. Not intentionally. But for being who I am. Which is not a crack-whore with ten kids living on the street. It's a successful, independent, clean person who has some college education and a good job. A good life that I made for myself. But I am not a JW, and that's all that matters.

Richie is not in the wrong here. He spoke from his heart. His mom chooses to follow unnatural rules that makes her shun her son. It's very sad and unfortunate that our mothers have to feel so badly, but it's not our fault. It's on the shoulders of the WTS.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCES, RICHIE. (It's very healing to me.)

Crumpet

Girlfriends come and go and so do religions, but
you have only one mother in life and when she
dies make sure you did the right thing in life
otherwise you will have many regrets.

try telling that to his mother! What about all the times she has made Richie cry? Anyway he didnt make her cry - she just had to face for a minute the horror and shame of what she has done in choosing her religion which she wont let go and got upset. So she should! Goodness sakes!

Quit the pity party for the woman who disowned her son so she could make bucks for a publishing corp instead!

I went to the Memorial.

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