I guess that's cool Rich if you felt the need to go back and do so. Closure is always a good thing. It's kind of like when someone here asks about writing a DA letter; some say do it others oppose, why play by their rules, etc. I didn't go to any memorial after I officially DA'd, that was almost 10 years ago now. I didn't give a rat's ass what anyone thought about me and how I lived, and I still don't.
I went to the Memorial.
by RichieRich 97 Replies latest jw friends
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XJW4EVR
Richie,
You have balls, my man! I have been reading up on your journey from time to time, and I only wish I had your intestinal fortitude when I was your age, and still looked up in the Dubs. Perhaps if I would have made the full break instead of the fade I would not be in the situation I am in. I chose to not cause, what I thought, was undue harm on my family and my mother, but in retrospect the only person I harmed was myself. I postponed things that I never should have. I got back into the Dubs, and got married (at too young an age), and eventually divorced.
Had I made the clean break, yes, I would have made my mother cry, but being true to one's self is more important than the approval of a mother steeped in the conditional love taught by the WTB&TS.
You rock, dude!
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Vinny
A rather emotional experience to read. I for one was not in support of going on your last thread. But it seemed to accomplish exactly what you hoped it would. Perhaps this is closure now. Good for you.
One other thought (though you have probably already considered this); Perhaps one more phone call to your mother today; or even a letter, expressing everything you feel and have felt, to wrap everything up.
" I was very hurt to see you cry mom, but please remember, you chose to have nothing to do with me. I dis not have to be this way".... -
love2Bworldly
Wow Richie--you really are your own person and I love that. As far as making your mom cry, maybe she needed to have a good cry--it's not healthy to keep everything bottled up and she is the one who is shutting you out; but maybe someday she will reach out to you, you never know.
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kerj2leev
I do post most all of my feelings pertaining to the Witnesses here, so i can understand you seeing that anger there, because it is present. But how do my actions show anger?
Well some might say that with all the tattoos, piercings and skin stretching you may be releasing your emotions through such actions! Using these forms of to deal with your pain and anger!
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GoddessRachel
Well some might say that with all the tattoos, piercings and skin stretching you may be releasing your emotions through such actions! Using these forms of to deal with your pain and anger!I do post most all of my feelings pertaining to the Witnesses here, so i can understand you seeing that anger there, because it is present. But how do my actions show anger?
I think those actions show self expression more than anger. Especially self expression with regards to the WTS because they are against "the rules" (the made-up ones that supposedly don't exist, though we all know what the rules are so I guess that's a pretty big coincidence).
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RichieRich
Well some might say that with all the tattoos, piercings and skin stretching you may be releasing your emotions through such actions! Using these forms of to deal with your pain and anger!
I hate to say it, but "some" might be wrong.
The ways I alter my body are for my own pleasure. Recently, I hung my body from 6 metal hooks pierced through my back. The majority of people wouldn't consider that to be a sane, much less healthy action. However, I found that by doing what the mind deems impossible, I gave myself much more force and drive in real life. There is no greater feeling than to watch the earth spin below you, without you on it.
These actions have nothing to do with pain or anger, yet they have everything to do with peace and happiness.
To understand this requires some perspective broadening, but I'm sure you can grasp it.
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Spectre
RichieRich is more hardcore than you!
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kerj2leev
RichieRich is more hardcore than you!
Oh I have no doubt about that.....but my Granny's finger is bigger and she is pointing it at you!!
If that is what you need to do to feel happiness and peace all the best to ya! Just thought that seeing someone to help you talk things over is a very healthy way to deal with some of the emotional issues you have in dealing with your mother and your exit!
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JWdaughter
Richie, for a guy who looks a bit intimidating to some of us (ok, me!), I think you have the mushiest insides:) Every now and again the tough guy falls off and there you are. I sure like you. I am proud of you. You did well. Thats all I got-
Love,
Shelly