Here's part 1: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/127041/1.ashx
I had an CO's visit recently. We had a different CO than the last one that was too
busy to listen to my concerns. Here's my post telling the whole background story in one post:
From: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/130346/1.ashxHere's the story in a nutshell.
I stepped aside as elder in a foreign language congregation with a resignation letter in August.
I cited doubts in doctrine concerning "This generation" and 1975, and also said I don't "know"
the Governing Body well enough to teach their doctrine. The elders would not take action on the
resignation until they got instructions from the Mother organization, but I turned over all my
responsibilities then-and-there.The CO visited in October, the PO had to beg him to talk with me. He gave me 15 minutes of
his time, saying he had a dinner engagement and had to leave. He told me I had everything I
need in the WT Library to restore my confidence in the WTS and GB. He did not offer a prayer
in my behalf, nor was he interested in listening to my doubts. He admitted that Mother's
instructions to the elders was to "snatch me out of the fire." He was so rushed that I told him
to go take care of the 99 and forget the 1 strayed sheep, I would be fine on my own.That same month, October, I turned in my first ZERO hours service slip, and it's been ZERO ever
since, so this is the 5th month with no service. One more month, I will be "inactive." The elders
have offered friendly chit-chat, but have not asked to speak with me at all. I have missed around
50% of the Service Mtgs/ TMS and maybe 60% of Public Talks/ WT study. Since mid-January,
I totally stopped going to the bookstudy- so it's been 6 weeks since I attended that at all.The bookstudy overseer has finally had other publishers ask me to come to the bookstudy, saying
they miss me, and he, himself, followed suit today, asking me to come to the bookstudy, but
doing so right as the meeting started, so I didn't have to answer, then not mentioning it again after
the meeting.
During the visit, after the meeting, the PO and the secretary went out of their way to talk to me.
They did not ask about any problems, or try to counsel or help me. They just went out of their way
for the CO to see them talking with me, it was just chit chat. The CO came over and joined the chit
chat. I met him and left for home.
I know the elder games. I told my wife what that was all about, but she didn't really get it. You see,
the Body of elders was instructed to "snatch me out of the fire" because of my doubts. They have
done nothing at all. They haven't inquired why I stopped reporting field service. They haven't asked to
meet with me at all. The book study overseer hasn't asked why I won't come to the bookstudy, he gets
other publishers to invite me to come, or others to ask about "preaching with me." So the PO and secretary
spending time in the auditorium talking with me, acting like they spend much time being available and
friendly to me- that's so they can tell the CO (at the elders meeting on Friday) that they try to help me as
much as possible, but I have been closed to them. Truth-be-told, I would be closed to them, but they
actually never tried to open a discussion. If they would just try, I would give them the excuse they need to
stop trying again.
I told the wife they were just being friendly so they could tell the CO they have been available to help me.
She just said "Well, they are available to help you." I didn't bother going further with this discussion. This all
works well with a fade.
Well, now the Memorial is over. The wife and I went to it. She started making arrangements for something
else this week at the K.H. She asked me if I was available after the meeting. I had decided that April would
be the month I stopped going to the K.H. so I told her that I wasn't going to the meeting again this week.
She asked me about "Why not?" even though I don't go often. I think she sensed my tone was different about
not going this week than it was about missing other meetings.
I told her that I would not be going to the meetings at all anymore. She asked if I had found some other religion
to follow. I said "No." Then she asked why I didn't want to go. I said, "I have really been so much freer in my
thinking to see the big problems with Jehovah's Witnesses. If I don't say anymore to you about your beliefs and
what's wrong with the WTS, then I also won't try to discourage you. So that means, you don't ask me any
questions about my beliefs, and I won't make any statements about your beliefs- and, also, when the elders ask
you to spy on me or to tell them things about me, you can remember our agreement. You can tell them that
they will have to ask me directly about my problems."
Well, she agreed. She said "The elders have been pretty fair with you. You told them you didn't want their help
and they gave you your space. I don't think they will ask me to spy on you."
"And if you are wrong, or if they have any questions, you will tell them that you are not going to get in the middle?"
"Okay."
JWD posters- this is a major milestone in my path to freedom. My wife may stay a faithful witness, but without my
support of her activity, her field service is a social club and she's late for more than 50% of her meetings. She has a
master's degree (obtained while an elder's wife) and she disagrees with many things the society says, but supports their
viewpoint overall. I don't think that she will go to meetings the rest of her life.
I have tried for only 6 months to really pull her out. While I won't entirely give up pulling, the effort will be more minimal
and crafty. I know that she might not keep her word, so my fade will continue as far as avoiding openly apostate
materials, actions (as far as she knows). Please celibrate my milestone with me. NO MORE MEETINGS.
Oh, we will discuss it another time. I will be happy to accompany her to the location of Assemblies and Conventions.
I won't go in for the meeting, but I will be happy to bring her to the door.