The serious conversation with the wife about the cult- part 2

by OnTheWayOut 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  unique1

  I am glad. My hubby never posted on here though. He didn't need this like I do. He merely said he was playing tennis on meeting nights instead and on Sunday when he didn't have an excuse, he would just say, I don't want to go. He was still sporadic at that point. He told me he thought 1914 was a load of Balogna in passing one day but I didn't press it. Then the day 9/11 happened, I came home and he was sitting in the chair. He simply stated "I have had my fill of religious zealots and I am not going to the meetings anymore."

  If your wife is as intelligent as you say she is she will realize that one you are entitled to your own opinion as an adult and two she will be curious about the comments you make and start with research of her own. Just keep the lines of communication open and I feel sure she will see the way. She is much more educated than I am so she has a head start on thinking outside the org.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  And tonight, while on vacation, she blew off the meeting. She had already made plans with
  some sister, but without me going, she just shrugged it off.

  Don't you all go reading that she will go out fast. She won't do this at home, just go late.

  My not being there will help her see what a drudgery meetings are, but she will still go.
  I don't know what her attitude will be at the DC, but it won't be "Thrilled."
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  jeanV said:

  Truth-be-told, I would be closed to them, but they
  actually never tried to open a discussion. If they would just try, I would give them the excuse they need to
  stop trying again.

  OTWO, any particular reason why you do not want to help them to see the truth about the truth?

  Yes. I would love to help them to see the truth about the truth, but it's self-defeating. They won't accept it
  without a fight, and then they will use my words against me in a JC, ultimately deciding to DF and tell my
  mother to stop communicating with me.

  The best thing I can show them is that I had doubts, those doubts led me to total inactivity.
• 

  jgnat

  any particular reason why you do not want to help them to see the truth about the truth?

  No use sharing if you don't have permission. Even JW's have free will.

  This is exactly why placard advertising is the least effective. You assault the senses without getting permission first.

  I imagine if someone breaks with the crowd and privately asks what OTWO believes, he'd be more than willing to share.
• 

  dawg

  I just want to say to lazer... hell yea I want them to capulate and know I'm right. After all the hell they've put me through over nothing, that's exactly what I want them to do. I'll say it plainly, the WTBTS is my enemy and I will not stop until I've made an impact on their ability to recruit-always through discourse. I don't want anyone else to ever go through what many of us have been through. Dissent is a great thing when it's creative, but we're talking about people's families here; families we've often lost over absolute foolishness-over nothing but haughty men that think their crap don't stink. SO, damn right I want capulation and I want a damn apoligy for 17 years of hell administered by the hands of a bunch of fools. Honestly man, what the hell is wrong with you?
• 

  reneeisorym

  My ex knew it was wrong from day one. He became a JW just to get me to marry him. He spent the five years we were marred trying to get me out. He never told me that he didn't agree with the Watchtower. He just asked me questions about why the JWs did this and that. It made me think. It worked and it is possible to get through to her while still being incognito.

  (He is my EX for completely different reasons unassociated with the JWs -- specifically he had a violent temper.)
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I imagine if someone breaks with the crowd and privately asks what OTWO believes, he'd be more than willing to share.

  Thanks, JG. I have shared my views with a coworker whose wife is a fairly new JW. I would take any JW into
  confidence if approached. I often share my slightly different view with JW's without revealing my entire rejection
  of WTS to them.
• 

  LeslieV

  I am so glad you are doing the fade well.

  Your wife is an intelligent woman, give her time she will see through alot of it. She probably already does, but as we all know staying a JW is not always about intelligence. I think most of us on this board are fairly intelligent people, it is more about who we are, our belief systems, our dreams of being with those that we love forever, the power and control the borg has over its members, loosing your friends and family. It is very complex, also leaving is admitting that the dream is not real, that you were mislead, you wasted some of the best years of your life. Leaving is a process it does not happen overnight for most people. Good luck we are behind you.

  Leslie
• 

  penny2

  Congratulations on your milestone, OTWO! I know how much of a relief it is to decide never to go to meetings again.

  I am on a short vacation (spending time with the wife, rejuvenating our love

  Hope you and your wife are enjoying the vacation. Now don't spend too much time on here!

  He became a JW just to get me to marry him.

  You must have had some stressful times, reneeisorym, but at least one good thing came out of it - he helped you see the light.

  penny2
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I think I replied to most everyone here or in a PM, I may have missed LisaRose's comments

  The elders probably know you are smart enough to make up your own mind, and there would be little they could
  do to change your mind and they would have to DF you if they forced the issue. They don't want to have to do that,
  so consider yourself lucky.

  That's precisely how I feel. These fellows, while under the WTS spell of control, still do not wish to make this a
  judicial matter. They just might think that I can just slip away quietly. If this is so, it says alot for my BOE.

  They never "outed" me as weak to the publishers. They didn't gossip about me. They didn't try to DF me.
  They gave me my space when I said I would not need their help. If this holds up, it's wonderful.

  I do not expect it to hold up, but I am hopeful. Someone on page one said to wait for the other shoe to drop.
  I will let you all know what happens with me- whether I can be another one that just walks away or if there is any
  kicking and screaming left in this case.

  Thanks, all.