Update: Elders on the move....

drew sagan

Well everybody, I think a little update is in order here with what is going on in my world. Much has happened, and it appears that much more is going to happen quite quickly.

For those of you that don't know, the poster Amber Rose is my wife. This past monday her mother (an active JW) found out she joined the YMCA. After a brief conversation her mother told her she was turning her into the Elders because she felt that she had to.

Keep in mind that for almost the past year we completed what we thought was a pretty successful fade. Not to many questions where asked and there was no real large arguments. Now all things have seen to come to a head. On wendsday night she got a call from an Elder (obviously made after he got home from the meeting). We wern't home to pick it up. Yesterday he called twice and we where there to pick up the second call. It seems they are quite anxious to get with us. After many months of not hearing a word from them (for the most part) its amazing how they run when they think they can get somebody in trouble. So two Elders basically want to meet with us, basically so they can DF us.

At first we where ready just to meet up with them, do battle and end it all. But then we thought of my in-laws. My wifes mom was baptized in the 80s, and her Dad has become (reluctantly) a unbaptized publisher over a year ago (like many other 'unbelieving mates' he disliked the idea of the JWs for years but eventually gave in just recently). We have been trying our best to keep this fade going well so that open communication can remain. Because of this we decided that we should meet with them first, instead of meeting with the Elders.

Without a doubt I know that JWs want to break up families that they feel are a threat. Their main goal is to have all of the family members agree with the WTS like slaves or to have them torn and separated because of arguments over their religion and its practices. They want division, because it makes stronger JWs.

My mother in law feels that we are now enimies, against her and the JWs. I believe she has taken the action of turing in my wife so that this process is eaiser for her. So that she can have an 'official' position on her daughter and I so that she doesn't have to wonder what to do. She also wants to shift all blame to us for this problem, that way she can feel happy knowing she did 'Jehovahs will' instead of thinking she just sold out her own daughter.

The most interersting thing in all of this is how I can see how affraid she is of me. Deep down I believe she feels that I know things she does not want to know. She has done many things over the past year to show us that her faith in the JWs is weak. She actually told my wife that she wanted to meet up and talk with me many months ago to speak about the problems with the WTS I was having. She only gave that offer once. Even when she came to my house and offered me to come to the study in the 'Revelation Climax' book she doged the question of getting togeather to talk. She knows what I have and is affraid of it.

Again, I can see the futility of arguments. They are of no value here. This is the time to build bridges not burn them down. I'm going to be taking on a 'love first' approach. I want my mother in law to see that we love her. I want her to see that we care about her. This is quite difficult, but really is our only option.

I could write a whole buch more but really don't have the time right now.

Wish us the best! I'll give you all updates.

-Drew

AK - Jeff

Drew - The elders are on the move - but what is your next move? You indicated that you want to meet with in-laws. What specifically will you do in that meeting? And now that you are on the 'radar' of the elders, can you hide and lay low? Or do you mean you will just lay out the cards and then let the chips fall when the elders finally meet with you?

Jeff

nvrgnbk

After a brief conversation her mother told her she was turning her into the Elders because she felt that she had to.

You've got to be kidding me! Please tell me you're kidding.

That's just sad on so many levels.

Regards to both of you Drew and Amber,

Nvr

drew sagan

nvrgnbk:
Not kidding man, i couldn't believe it either but I suppose crazier things have happened

---

AK - Jeff
My next move is to meet with here parents and try to bring this togeather. I believe her mother is acting this way because she is scared and worried. I also believe that if approached in love all of that fear she has will melt and the path will be open to share our reasons for why we are not coming back to the Kingdom Hall. But remember I plan not to argue. I will only present my reasons, and possibly ask her questions but will engage in no agruments. Her husband will be there as a neturalizing force. She will not be able to pull all of the JW tactis on us with him there, it will look to arrogent and unreasonable. Many of the cards are in our favor with them, but I feel the biggest threat is simply falling into the hands of an arguement. After we meet with her parents we will have a better idea of what our options are with the Elders.

vitty

I cannot believe how anyone would want to "bring it to a head". The consequences being that your daughter is DFed and you then must shun her

I could never have done that. Especially as you say she is weak. What the hell is she thinking? And on such a stupid charge.

I think you are incredible for showing her such love, since she isnt showing much natural feeling for you or your wife

ex-nj-jw

Good luck Drew and amber rose, I hope all goes well for you.

At least you have each other to lean on and you are not alone!!

nj

Doubting Bro

Drew,

Your tactic with your MIL sounds like a good one. I wish you both the best. One thing though, since the MIL turned your wife in already, you are probably still going to have problems with the elders. Of course, if after your meeting with the in-laws, you come to an agreement that she wants to continue a relationship with you both, its still only 1 witness and therefore no judicial action can be taken if you both deny the membership and say she must have misunderstood. The fact that joining a gym could mean that all good JWs shun you is insane but as you know its in the rule book (meaning the WT not the Bible).

Good luck.

geevee

I wish you both all the best. Is joining the YMCA a bit like joining the UN to use the library? You only want to use the gym or swimming pool?

dawg

Take your "Crisis of Conscience" book, make copies of the JW pages where they made gaffs, show those to the elders when they visit, and tell them that you must obey God as ruler rather then man, tell them that you can't put your trust in nobles or the son of earthly men... then ask them to show you from the bible where it says that you are an apostate by challening what men tell you... There's no justification for this policy as any man has the right to question any other man and there's not one damn scripture that says otherwise. They have no right to say that your family can't associate with you becasue you have questions over the teachings of men; it's not backed up in scripture that's all I'm saying.

purplesofa

Maybe this would be a good time to point out to the MIL how the WT was part of the UN.

purps

Update: Elders on the move....

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