Maybe I should go back and be a good little dubbie again!! (page 2)

AK - Jeff

And thank you Richard. I am thinking about that book today.

Hope all is well for you too.

Enlightened - Thank you.

Jeff

Warlock

Join the club, Jeff. You are not alone.

It's tough to be in "no man's land".

Warlock

Jeff, Remember the classic JW recruitment is to catch people at a 'down' point in their lives and offer them something they think they need. Friends, I was never a JW or a member of any other religious group, I am 53 years old and my 'true friends who will always be there for me' I can count on two hands (and I don't need all the fingers). Its not just a JW thing. Quality not quantity is the key.

sweet pea

Jeff, Sounds like you need a holiday - fancy coming over to England? - we'd love to put you up - you've been a real inspiration to me in recent days and this post made me cry. Sweetpea

carla

Sorry for what you are going through. I think someone had the right idea already, look into the Lion's Club or Kiawanas or volunteer somewhere. How about a book club? Or take a class in something you enjoy. Wood carving or something, it doesn't have to be academic. Have you tried a church? Sounds like you need to get out more and meet new people. Meet some real friends. Real friends take a little time to become real. Not like the ready made variety at the hall who 'love' everybody who is a jw because the are obligated to do so. Will be thinking of you.

Junction-Guy

Jeff, sorry you are feeling down. I too have been in a similiar situation for years. I have been trying to regain friendships since I left Ky in 1994. I have felt like a loner ever since. Everything I try here hasnt worked. I have reached out in ways and places I never dreamed I would go, and yet Im still all alone here.

I finally was able to meet a few XJW's in this area, however there is no one in my peer group, especially guy friends to hang out with. I have met several women, but they are married or dating.

I have no one to hang out with here at all, and it gets boring, however I never would consider going back to the Kingdom Hall, there is no way in hell I would give up my freedoms to go back to that mental prison. I would die alone before I ever considered becoming enmeshed in that cult again,

Here is another suggestion, why not look up Toastmasters. Toastmasters is a group devoted to public speaking, and they have different groups for different topics and interests.

Sorry about your Apostafest plans falling through, I live in one of the major tourist destinations in the US, and yet I have never been able to hold an Apostafest here, and besides there arent many XJW's from Indiana on this board, so dont take it personal in any way.

Also if you can afford it, a trip to a Dallas Apostafest is worth it, you would have so much fun.

I hope things improve for you.

truthsearcher

'Morning Jeff:

I hope this finds you in a better frame of mind? Sorry that you were feeling blue last night. Don't be surprised at being a human with emotional ups and downs. We are glad that you are able to post your feelings here, and it would be a sad sad day for me to find that you had re-entered the Watchtower.

I have found the following activities to bring alot of people into my life:

#1 Church: I know this is a tough one for ex-JWs, but this is where I receive alot of fellowship and nourishment (physical and spiritual! Hurray for potlucks!) Churches are often needing people to help in various ministries. I have taught Sunday School, worked in the nursery, been in Praise bands, been the librarian, been a part of/led Bible Studies, attended craft nights, gone on camping trips, manned tables at their Garage sales, made candy floss at the summer carnivals, washed dishes after family potlucks, etc.

#2 Community Service: I have been on a committee in my neighbourhood that helped to look after the local park, been a leader in an organization that helps new mothers and babies, joined a non-profit weight loss group.

#3 Kids Activities: I have met friends at homeschool meetings, libraries, soccer, dance, swimming, skating, art class, etc. etc.

#4 Ding dong, Avon calling: Yes I was the hateful Avon lady in my neighbourhood. Actually this was the way that I got to know my neighbours whenever we moved to a new spot. It forced me to go and meet people. I made some friends that way--I was a good salesperson and never pushy, always looking out for my customers best interests ("wait till next time, it is on sale then")

Jeff, all these activities have taken proactive effort on my part, but I consider my life and skills to have been enriched by them. However, I do have to say that of those friends that I can really count on, they have come from the first group. Despite church, denomination and location changes, they are the ones who stand by me.

What about starting up a cult exit support group? Or is there something you could do with your public speaking skills? I know you have mentioned before about going round to speak on the Watchtower. Why not go door-to-door and talk about the WT as a cult? It would be interesting to see people's reactions since most are annoyed by the JWs. Would they welcome some material to help them or arm them-, or what about a JWS DO NOT CALL sign (Mouthy has some of those).

Any one else with ideas?

Take care, Jeff,

TS

AK - Jeff

Well - morning has dawned [kind of] and my mood is presently far improved over last nite. Two wonderful people Pm'd me. Many others have made very nice and upbuilding comments and suggestions. I thank you all.

Of course I will never rejoin the Jw's. I would have to stich a barf-bag to my chin to enter a KH. So that is not happening. I was honestly very worried about myself last nite that I had even thought about the possibility yesterday. Thank God for a good night's sleep and the return of common sense.

I had, some time back, determined that my reason for staying on JWD was so that I might encourage other dubs coming out. Yet, I discovered that I was the one needing such now. I am thankful for this resource and the honesty and encouragement I have recieved on this thread.

Now, if the dad-gum sun would just come out from hiding today.

Again -thank you all so much.

Jeff

OnTheWayOut

Let me relate to what you are saying:

All I was ever good at was giving public talks and making converts to the Jw's.

I very much so understand that. Amongst JW's, you could develop friendships of
people with like goals. You should be able to do that at church, Jeff, but I know the
feelings of uncomfortableness you speak of.

Jeff, Why don't you look up the local Kiwanis Club

Carmel makes a good suggestion. If not Kiwanis Club, then something local that calls
for volunteers, perhaps through your church. Instead of looking for the guy to help you
load the pickup with shingles, look to make a difference in the lives of others, and perhaps
you will find friends locally.

I am sure you can have great friends from JWD, but I understand that. They are all over the
world in their own little worlds. With your former congregation, you could ask the "friends"
what they would be doing after "service" and have a good time. That's why I think volunteer
service will work for you. First, you are doing something that makes you feel good, so even
if you don't make a friend, you are feeling better. Second, the other volunteers (few and far
between, granted) can maybe start to ask you what you are doing after (volunteer) service.

I know it's not much but, if I am ever DF'ed, give a call, and I will drive down to help with
those shingles. With the faithful JW wife and the fade, I can't promise I would ever make
it to the aposta-BBQ, but I would try.

carla

Jeff needs a vacation!! Maybe we should give him a cyber one seeing as the three monsters will be wanting his attention soon! (I know they are really all angels)

Or you should go to a spa and get a massage and heat lights! doesn't sound practical? Have the kids play 'spa' today and you are the customer! Wifey can help out with the facials and such! Their little fingers can give massages and even feet massages! hey, this is sounding ok, maybe I should borrow some little kids who go along much better than older ones!

Maybe I should go back and be a good little dubbie again!!

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