Maybe I should go back and be a good little dubbie again!! (page 4)

golf2

Ever thought of taking up golf? What's in it? True,there's more to it than what meets the eye such as meeting people and you should have no problems meeting people since you were a witness. Getting to know the game will take some doing and if you want to do something, learning and playing the game is an interesting challenge.
Once acquainted with the sport, a routine will gradually develop. The scenery and landscape of a golf course is worth the walk. If this isn't your cup of tea, surely there are other activities that's worth pursuing. Don't waste your time and life thinking about things, DO THINGS. If you want to return to the fold, that too is ok with me, if that's what you want.
Don't feel remorse for expressing your feelings and thoughts. Enjoy the day and the family.

Golf

Clam

Jeff I believe that the Universe doesn't necassarily bring you what you want, but it does bring you what you think.

One thing you're not is a "bland fellow". You're a favourite poster who I'd love to go out for a beer with. Shame you're in Indiana and I'm in England. It's ok to feel sorry for yourself from time to time, life is peaks and troughs, but don't put yourself down. It's circumstances, not you.

You're a unique being who brings joy to those around you. Hell - get yourself to that Dallas gig. I'm SO envious of those who are going.

Clam

OnTheWayOut

I am still uncomfortable in the churches

All I was ever good at was giving public talks and making converts to the Jw's

Just a thought, Jeff. Have you ever approached the churches to see if they want a lecture on JW's, the dangers
they bring to the door? I don't know much about church schedules, but it seems that many make time for a guest
on a subject, or offer it as a service at a different time. Or perhaps join a group that helps people from cults, travelling
throughout your greater local area to offer counsel, lectures, advice for families or victims.

Your writings are excellent. You can develop some good stuff to fit the crowd you wind up working with.

Just a thought. But you might make some great friends with common problems or goals, just like JW's have
common interests.

TopHat

Hey, Jeff, Wish you lived near us....I would like to have a kind neighbor like you. Beer sounds good...what brand are you drinking?

reneeisorym

I was actually crying about this same thing last night. I have friends but none that are just close enough to call and tell EVERYTHING to. I know how you feel and I hope it gets better for the both of us.

Sometimes I think that when we were a JW, we had people who thought exactly like us. We went to assemblies with people who were so brainwashed that we knew just how they thought after having hardly met them. Its different now because people are all different and it takes time to learn what kind of person they are.

What to do, I don't know because I feel the same way many nights. It isn't aquaintences we are missing, its close friends we can share our intimate feelings with. I hope knowing you aren't alone helps.

dawg

It's been 17 years since I guit being controlled... I've had no one to talk to about it but my "worldly" friends they really don't understand. But recently, my cousin dropped out and he's a musician like me, I've really enjoyed having someone to talk to and he's going to my college which makes it even better. I know where you're coming from though dude, If I were there with you tonight I'd give you a toast. I've been about to drop off a bridge several times... but you know sometimes you just have to sleep on it and things get better in teh morning.

Open mind

Hi Jeff,

Just wanted to add a quick word of appreciation for all your posts. I was reading your life story on my Palm Pilot during the Watchtower Study last week. Made me wish I was flying a plane above some midwest corn fields. ;) You're a talented writer and your honesty is very refreshing.

Your post really struck a chord with me. As a still active JW I could just stay put with family and "friends" and in the short run, it's the course of least resistance. But one of the things that got me searching outside the JWs was reflecting on all the real friends who have been yanked away from me over the years when they got DFed, DAed or faded. And knowing, of course, that if I ever really spoke my mind or stopped being active my "conditional friends" would be forced to drop me like a hot potato. I think that's made me put up some walls over time in order to not get too close to very many people. That's really not a healthy way to live, is it?

As for being ridiculed for still being a Christian on this board, well that can hurt. But, to be honest, when I first started lurking here I was blown away at how well most posters on this board can get along. It's amazing when you stop and think about. What do you think the chances are of an atheist, an agnostic, a satanist, a warlock, a witch, various flavors of Christians and any other religion you care to name (btw, some hetero, some bi and some gay) all sitting down together to have a pizza and discuss religion? This board can hurt at times, but overall it's really an incredible resource.

I know you know all this so I'll stop rambling now.

Please keep posting if you can make room for it in your soon-to-be-too-busy life, right?

Open Mind

exwitless

Jeff-I think this nasty Indiana weather is getting to all of us. As I am typing, it is cold and has been snowing all day!!! On April 14th - snowing!!! Ughh.

I do know exactly where you're coming from. When I joined the borg, I was 18. I literally dumped my very good friends from high school, on the advice of the elders, because I was told shouldn't want or need "worldly" friends anymore. At that young age, the base from which to draw my group of friends was only from high school. So when I dumped them, I literally had NO friends, except my then boyfriend Little Drummer Boy, and the new fake "friends" in the KH. We went through the "love bombing" and thought we had all the friends we could want. Until we were no longer the recipients of the love bombing and we very quickly became invisible. We never developed very strong friendships with any JWs, because it seemed you could never really just talk to someone; you always have to be monitoring what you say because someone might be "stumbled" or think that you're becoming weak. And having hobbies? What are hobbies when you're a JW? I could go on and on.

Now we're in your same predicament. I do like all the people I work with, but I wouldn't say I'm close friends with them. We don't socialize outside of work. It's really hard to start over in rebuilding a social life.

And by the way - I would totally love to attend an Indiana apostafest. Too bad the one we tried to talk up last fall attracted virtually NO interest. COME ON, INDIANA PEOPLE! HOW ABOUT AN APOSTAFEST THIS SUMMER?!!!

Hang in there. We're looking forward to a BBQ or a "field trip" with you and the family soon!

Just as I am

Sometimes I think that when we were a JW, we had people who thought exactly like us. We went to assemblies with people who were so brainwashed that we knew just how they thought after having hardly met them. Its different now because people are all different and it takes time to learn what kind of person they are.

This made a lot of sense to me. We "knew" people that we did many things with, including assemblies, which felt like spending a vacation with friends, or that we had cook outs with in the summer and so on.

I was lucky to find a non-JW man who had friends that became mine too. Later on, I made friends at various workplaces that have remained friends through the years. Then after having kids--well you can't help meeting people through the kids and their friends.

Jeff, in what part of Indiana are you located? We are in SW Michigan right at the IN state line, and if we are in close enough proximity to each other, maybe we could get that Aposta BBQ going this summer, even if it is just our two families....

And yes, the lack of sunshine, especially after a beautiful early March, is a spirit killer. Better days are coming, my friend.

In Him,

Just As I Am

exwitless

Jeff, in what part of Indiana are you located? We are in SW Michigan right at the IN state line, and if we are in close enough proximity to each other, maybe we could get that Aposta BBQ going this summer, even if it is just our two families....

Hey, we want to come too!

Maybe I should go back and be a good little dubbie again!!

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