My JW sister wants her mom and siblings to pay for HER retirement!

by Who are you? 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • Who are you?
    Who are you?

    Kind of long...thanks in advance for letting me vent!

    My sister has been a JW since 1974. She's been waiting for the end of this "system of things" since the fall of 1975. She never went to college. She has had probably 80 or more jobs since 1974. She has no retirement savings. She moved in with my 83 year old mom for the 9 or 10th time in her adult life about six months ago. Shortly afterwards she lost her job and went on unemployment. Three months ago my Mom fell and became incapacitated, to the extent that she needs a walker and cane to move around. My mom was still able to drive to her church (Unitarian) on Sundays....until last week. She got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and fell again. This time she cracked a rib and now can't use the walker because of the tenderness in her ribs.

    My sister sent my two other brothers and myself an email explaining that her unemployment is running out soon and that she has bills to pay, car payment, cell phone etc... (she lives rent free and has her food provided by my mom). The jist of it is that she wants all of us to pay her to look after my mom. Her email seemed to imply that she was there 24/7 waiting hand and foot on my mom. When I broached the subject with my brother (an ex-JW who lives in the area) he reminded me that OUR SISTER IS A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS who spends around 30+ hours away from my mom attending meetings, going out service, socializing etc...

    My sister stated to my brother that our mom shouldn't be driving, and that we should sell my moms car and pay off my sisters car with the proceeds. My brother stated to me that he thinks my JW sister WANTS my mom incapacitated so that she can be her full time caretaker.

    I told my brother that I have no problem pitching in to pay someone to look after my mom, but I want a professional. So this weekend my brother talked to my sister and told her that we appreciate her help these last three months, but that she needs to get on with her life and get a full time job so that she can take care of herself. We will hire a professional to look after my mom.

    Anybody still reading this...take a deep breath....my JW sister told my brother that she has been counting on my mothers estate for her retirement income. My brother rightfully made it clear to my sister that all money in my mom's estate will go to providing my mom the resources to provide comfort and dignity in her final days whether that is a year or 10 years. My sister looked completely aghast! Then my JW sister asked my brother how she is going to survive retirement and asked my brother if any of the three brothers would provide for my sister in her retirement. My brother said "You decided to be a JW, why should we provide for your retirement?"

    I will be going up in two weeks to set help set up care for my mom. I can't wait to tell my sister face to face...I sure as hell am not going to pay for you to be a JW. You've worked for the WTS for free for over 30 years...ask them for retirement assistance!

  • badboy
    badboy

    AMEN, BROTHER!

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    Why doesn't she just collect her wtbts pension like the rest of us do?

  • DJK
    DJK

    She will reach retirement age and that doesn't mean she can stop working. She has created her own future. If she is to continue living with your mom after you get professionals to take care of your mom, then she should be paying room and board. Tell her to talk to the elders about her situation, I'm curious if they will teach her to freeload or be responsible for herself.

  • badboy
    badboy

    IS THERE A VERSE FROM THE BIBLE YOU COULD SHOW HER?

  • Highlander
    Highlander

    Tell her to draw closer to Jehovah and lean on him for retirement.

    I also wouldn't be surprised if your mom didn't actually fall but was pushed down by your sister. If not pushed,, maybe your sister 'conveniently' left small objects on the floor to

    trip up your mom.

    If your sister is not accountable enough to have planned for her own future, then I believe she would be the type to do whatever it takes to fund her nest egg.

  • Invetigator74
    Invetigator74

    Seriously, do you feel your sister might be desperate enough to hurt your mother in any way? Maybe you should take charge right away !!

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    ...I sure as hell am not going to pay for you to be a JW. You've worked for the WTS for free for over 30 years...ask them for retirement assistance!

    HA! HA! you think they would???? NOT!!!! They will approach the congregation & inform them a sister in the congregation has to look after her Mother so brothers & sisters that is where we must individually help her. I remember this happening in our congregation & used the scripture "if you dont look after your own we are worse than an infidel After all we are ONE family, & this is our sister. " Yet when I had my ulcer operation,( vagotomy & polyplasty) & couldnt pay my rent because I missed 3 weeks of work, The elder told me "we must all carry out own load Grace" so I had to go out doing my job of housecleaning earlier that the DR recommended,scrubbing floors etc"
    LOVE!!!!

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb
    I remember this happening in our congregation & used the scripture "if you dont look after your own we are worse than an infidel After all we are ONE family, & this is our sister

    I'm laughing so hard, I just spewed coffee!! When my mom was so sick the last couple months, NO ONE called, or came by. Last night she was talking to another 'sister' who had been sick, too. Mom's words were "don't feel bad, no one checked on me either". I found out this other sister is 77 years old. And had also been sick, missed alot of meetings.

    CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE??

  • Who are you?
    Who are you?
    Seriously, do you feel your sister might be desperate enough to hurt your mother in any way? Maybe you should take charge right away !!

    My brother lives 15 minutes away and does all of the house and lawn maintenance for my mom and phones her daily. He is going with my mom to her doctors appointment today (much to my sister's dismay) and is stepping in immediately to talk directly to the doctors to discuss short term options. He will also put up a railing in the hallway between bedroom and bathroom and begin physically checking in with her every day after work.

    When I go up in a week and a half, I will have an Occupational Therapist come to see the setup of the home and give advice on the best way to handle things, and then hire an assistant.

    I am considering calling her elders to make them aware of the situation. Any advice on what to say to the elders would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks everyone for your comments!!!

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