My JW sister wants her mom and siblings to pay for HER retirement!

by Who are you? 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • zack
    zack

    Are you sure she's your sister and not another brother? I mean, she's got balls, don't you think?

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Wow your sister is a piece of work. Tell her to trust in Jehovah to provide for her because you & her brothers won't be. How arrogant to imagine she was going to take your mothers property to fund her retirement.

    Ruth

  • Pahpa
    Pahpa

    If your mother has taken several falls, it is apparent she should not be left alone. Have you considered looking into a care facility that would provide 24 hour supervision? They are usually quite expensive. But with the sale of the house it could provide for months of care. And, then, usually Medi-Aid will pick up the tab when the assets are depleted. There would be no estate left to bother with. But a word of caution, nursing homes are good and bad. So, it is important to do a complete investigation of them if you decide to go this route.

  • GentlyFeral
    GentlyFeral

    Lady Lee said:

    Your mother is NOT a JW. She goes to the Unitarian church

    And as a former Unitarian (good people, but they weren't weird enough for me ;)), I want to ask where is the church in all this? If they have two brain cells to rub together, they'll be at her side with at least moral support, pastoral visits, etc. Do they even know why she hasn't been coming to church lately? Do tell 'em; they're fair-minded people, relatively easy to guilt-trip ;)

    Has your sister been throwing up barriers between your mother and her UU friends?

    gently feral

  • lesterd
    lesterd

    Jws have a retirement plan now? Damn I got out too early.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    here's my opinion:

    take your mother to an attorney and set up a revocable living trust with yourself and your brother as trustee and successor trustee. The trust becomes irrevocable on your mother's death. Then find out how much it costs to have someone take care of your mother in her home. You may find it is worth your while to quit focusing on how much you dislike your sister's lifestyle and let her live there so your mother has someone there at night. It could be win/win - your sister has a place to stay and your mother has a companion. If you take over the finances and pay the bills, your sister can't get her hands on the money and waste it, therefore it will be used to help your mother and then divided equably at her death.

    you'll find when your mother dies that you are glad you took the high road. Don't use your mother's need as an opportunity to score off your sister. I had bad relations with my sister, but when my mother was dying I thought it was a bad time to hold a grudge and we restored our relationship. It isn't perfect, but at least we are friendly and have let bygones be bygones. and when my mother died, I was the trustee and I made sure that everything was done openly and fairly.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    and for heaven's sake, leave the elders out of it. They'll just side with the sister, and confuse things. It's none of their business anyway. If you think the elders have the job of straightening out JWs, you are sadly mistaken. They won't do it for you.

  • Scully
    Scully

    How about trying this:

    1. going to Mom's church and talking to the minister to see what kind of interim care can be arranged through them to assist your mom while she is convalescing from her falls
    2. calling the elders in your sister's JW congregation to see if they can help her find a job and a place to live since your mom is in no position to support her financially at this point

    Compare the responses you get to see which one is the most "christian".

    This is one of those times when I firmly believe that some JWs should be referred to as "Jehovah's Freeloaders" instead of "Jehovah's Witnesses".

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront

    Yeah.....there retirement plan is "I'm going to spend my most productive years working free for the WT and your heathen ass had better be ready to take care of me when I'm done".

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Hortensia makes sense if you

    a) want to let your sister do the caring for mom for free room (and board, maybe) but not to
    get hold of her assets.

    b) if your mom will be worried about Sis.

    c) if Sis is going to end up on your doorstep anyway.

    But as Lady Lee pointed out, she hasn't done a good job. Talk to Mom about what she wants.

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