My JW sister wants her mom and siblings to pay for HER retirement!

by Who are you? 54 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I read through the entire thing. Part-way through, I wondered if it wouldn't be wise to ask Mom if
  she was cared for well by Sis. If it was okay with Mom, then Sis could have stayed on to care
  for her. I finished the read and knew Sis staying there was a bad idea. Good for you all to tell
  her like it is.

  Sis would have drained Mom's money, leaving nothing for her care, she would have tried to
  get a reverse mortgage or ownership of the house. Even short of that, she would have cared
  for Mom until Mom died, then expected the entire house, regardless of what the will said. She
  would have said "I lived here for years caring for Mom, you can't kick me out." Even if she didn't
  get you all to turn the house over, she would have wanted you to allow her to live there rent-free,
  meaning you can't sell the house. Who knows how far she might have (or even might still) gone.

  You told her what's what. Stand firm. Tell her the local elders or the state might be of some
  assistance. You might need to discuss things with a lawyer, since she's in the house. You or
  your brother need to seize her assets for a trust fund or something to pay her bills, perhaps.
  Don't let Sis pay the bills, and mix her own into the shuffle.
• 

  greendawn

  That's the issue with the JWs they spend their lives serving the WTS without thinking about the future and taht teh org they serve so faithfully will not in the least care about them when they grow old and perhaps needy. Christian love and ethos are not part of their culture. So when the time finally comes they should demand help from jehovah, his organisation, and their local KH, if they can get anything out of them. That shows how genuine their org is. AFAIK their way of thinking is: we are not a charity.
• 

  mouthy

  Be very care ful about this whole thing. I had a man call me years ago. He was not a JW .His two sisters were, His Mum,Dad,& Brother were not. The Father owned a thriving Farm.... He got very ill & was in hospital ... Visiting his Father he was amazed how how often the Elders of the Sisters K.Hall was visiting ,praying for him & making the Father feel special. Every day they visited him. Even picked up Mother to take her to see Dad, because the sons were working they could only visit nights & weekends, One time he noticed Dads watch was missing, Dad explained the Elders took it to look after it, as stealing in the hospital was rampant. Dad died, The elders came & said because the family was so distraught they would handle all the arrangements,& as the boys & Mother had no religious attachments they were kind enough to be of service. The boys were overwhelmed by the kindness,.
  When the will was read a few day later they found out that EVERYTHING was for the WT. Including the Farm etc: His wife was to be put in a retirement home & to be paid for by the WT out of its proceeds,until her death NOTHING!!!! was for the wife,sons, daughters, Only The Watchtower !!!! The man that called got a lawyer to fight it. In the court case.... Doctors & Nurses that cared for the old man testified he was in his right mind right up to his death.... There fore the will stood... In the end the man got so fed up when his Brother also became a JW...... His Mother & Him had not joined them the last I heard from him. So be warned
• 

  Who are you?

  OTWO...thanks for your post. I view all that has happened as a big wake up call. My mom is closest to the brother (the ex-JW) who lives 15 minutes away and myself. We have already agreed to take care of her between us. We may set it up so that she lives with us in Florida half the year and with my brother in her house half the year. When I go up to Chicago in a couple of weeks I will recommend to mom that she setup the trust with my brother as the sole decision maker in the event that something happens to her. He retires in a year from the USPS at age 55 with a decent retirement program. He has always lived within his means and we both agree that whatever assets my mom has should first go to make her remaining days as comfortable as possible.

  Thanks again for everyones posts!
• 

  Lady Lee

  OK Let me see if I understand this situation

  Your mother is NOT a JW. She goes to the Unitarian church and until her last accident was able to drive herself there.

  Your sister who IS a JW has off and on over the last few decades moved back in with your mother. Shortly after she moved in she lost her job and lived off your mother's good graces and an unemployment check which soon will run out.

  Your mother is more incapacitated than ever and your sister wants to be paid to care for her mother - over and above the free room and board. Your sister is tryiing to make it look like she is there 24/7 when we all know she has plenty of time for JW activites.

  So... instead of using the last 6 months of unemployment money to find a job she has spent that time doing what she wants and now has decided that caring for your mother (who has gotten hurt twice under her watch) should be her new job.

  Now if all that is correct I wouldn't be surprised if she asks to be compensated for the last six months she has lived there. I believe you said that for the first three of those 6 months your mother's health was fine so there was no reason why your sister should have moved in or should have cause to ask for compensation.

  hmmmm 3 months compensation for doing nothing and another 3 months doing a bit of caretaking which has resulted in 2 injuries. If I was hiring someone to care for my mother it sure wouldn't be her.
• 

  Who are you?

  LL Well put...Exactly!!! The only thing my sister has proved she is capable of looking after, is her own selfish interests! BTW, my mom is a true blue... raised in the depression era...never complains about anything, hero. She contracted polio at 25, and became partially disabled. She started a career at age 40 and finished raising four kids single handedly on a teachers salary (without a penny of child support). She is awesome!
• 

  Xena

  You and your brother appear to have it under control and your mothers best interests at heart. I wouldn't want to impute bad motives to your sister, not knowing her personally, but it sounds like ultimately your mother is better off not in her care.

  hehehe you might tell your sister you were worried it might hurt her conscience driving your mom to church.
• 

  badboy

  IF THIS IS IN BRITAIN, PERHAPS I COULD HAVE A WORD WITH HER!
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  hehehe you might tell your sister you were worried it might hurt her conscience driving your mom to church.

  Excellent posts by Xena and Lady Lee.

  hmmmm 3 months compensation for doing nothing and another 3 months doing a bit of caretaking which has resulted in 2 injuries.

  Advise Mom that you all don't expect anything from her. She has cared for you, now it's your turn.
  You will still have to deal with Sis when she is destitute, no longer able to move in with Mom.
  Stand firm.
• 

  Mary

  I think Lady Lee summed it up pretty well.

  Be prepared for a horrendous scene from your Dub sister if you tell her that your mom is going to be living with you 1/2 the year and your brother for the other 1/2 of the year. The suggestions that she would probably try and get the house signed over to her is par for the course. Delilah's uncle pulled the same crap when his parents had to go into a retirement home. He got him name put on the house and used to spend their pension money every month.....truly dispicable Witnesses.