What would you do???

Es

Hey there, Im kinda looking for some guidance here, I had a very close friend, she was actually one of my bridesmaids at my wedding, she's a little messed up but never the less we had a good friendship until I told her I was pregnant....! It was no secret I was trying we had told everyone that we wanted to start trying after our wedding, but anyway when I told her her response was " Oh, ok congratulations" and that was it, for the 9 months I was pregnant I reckon she asked me twice if I was ok and how it was going, all her text msg were about her and what was happening in her life. She has come no where near us since I have had Kaia, she hasnt seen her once and Kaia is coming up to 6 months old. She texted me asking if she could come over and bring lunch and meet Kaia when she was about 1 month old. I said yes and then the next day I had a present at my door from her for Kaia, it was sent via mail?? So i gathered she wasnt coming around afterall

Anyway she was to be married soon and I was asked before I was pregnant if I would be one of her bridesmaids I said yes of course. Anyway I have just received the invite to there wedding today in the mail, so Im guessing im not in the bridal party anymore.

Im wondering would you even go to the wedding, Im a pretty harsh person my instincts say no, if she couldnt give a s#$% about my baby etc why should I. Plus its going to be awkward for the both of us knowing i was supposed to be in the bridal party???

What would you do?

AudeSapere

My gut tells me that there is something bigger at play in her heart and head. Something is blocking her from being open with you.

I don't think it's personal against you. Feels to me like it's something in her past that may be hurting her when she sees or thinks of you and your happy life.

Just my gut.

-Aude.

Es

I do agree with you aude she wanted to get pregnant the same time as us so we could be pregnant together, but then they decided to buy a house instead, which was great for them to be able to do that, they brought a house we got pregnant, her jealousy has ruined our friendship.....

Highlander

Something is bothering her.

She's not being honest and upfront about it and is now making a half-ass effort at friendship.

You can either directly ask her what is wrong and ask her if she wants to get past it or,

Just cut your losses and be done with her.

Scully

Do unto others, maybe?

Send a gift and a "um ok congratulations on the wedding" card.

I'm not sure if it's jealousy... maybe she was disappointed that things that you talked about did not go as planned on her end. Everyone makes choices for various reasons. Did she really expect you to wait on getting pregnant while she bought the house she wanted? That's kind of silly, don't you think? It isn't really her place to decide when is the right time for you to plan your family, but then again, maybe she felt like she was the one "in charge" of the friendship and wanted you to follow her lead, not the other way around. It's shallow, but that's how some people are... whether we realize it initially or not.

helncon

HI Es,

It sounds like you would be a great friend.

I wouldn't really worry about how she has acted towards you and your family some people just get a little strange when you have something that they want. But it was a bit rude of her sending a pressy via mail when she said she was coming over. Who knows she may just not have been able come over (maybe jelous but that shouldn't get in the way of friendship)

You could confront her and ask why and how come you are no longer in the wedding party. If not just go for her day and enjoy it.

It would all depend how much you value your friendship with this person.

But it can only be you that can decide.

Helen

Es

Thanks highlander and scully for your input, Im leaning more towards cut my losses, I dont have time for people like that.

Hehe Scully that would be so cool hey, I could be a real bitch and say i was coming then dont turn up and post a wedding present heheh how terrible of me

es

Es

Thanks Helen, I know in myself tho if i go it would be so awkward and people would be able to sense it, I dont hide things like that, and I dont want that for her or me get me. I feel really angry that she didnt even have the balls to tell me im no longer in the wedding party esp when I helped get her wedding dress for her. Im so angry, she shouldnt punish me for having a baby

es

megsmomma

I HAD a friend like that.She used to be a dub too, and I originally moved to Texas to be closer to her. She was all good when my life stank.....very helpful and concerned about me. But, it all changed when I met my wonderfull husband and had a good job. She regretted getting married to an older guy who liked her very "submissive" and they went through some financial hardships that made her jealous of my decent situation. We don't talk anymore, and it is sad in a way...but, life goes on and I don't miss her snottiness.

troubled mind

I really don't understand .....why don't you just call her and ask her what's going on ? Be honest she was your friend right ? Tell her your hurt she hasn't come by to see your baby . Ask why she drifted away from you to the point you are no longer included in her wedding .

What would you do???

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