What would you do???

by Es 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  whyizit

  When I was younger and single and some of my friends became married and pregnant, we drifted apart somewhat. Our lives and interests were different for awhile. I didn't avoid my friends, but I didn't know a thing about babies. Or being pregnant, etc... To be honest, I wasn't really all that intrigued with babies, until I had one of my own.

  Of course, I attended their baby showers and went to meet the new arrival. I wasn't a cold fish about the whole thing. I just didn't "get" what the hoop-lah was all about. Until it was my turn! NOW I get it.

  Maybe your friend is uncomfortable around babies. Or maybe she had a miscarriage or abortion unbeknownst to anyone else. It sounds like something is going on under the surface. Something she doesn't want to talk about. Not exactly like she is trying to be hateful. It is coming across that way, though.

  She may have forgotten she asked you about being a bridesmaid. If it all feels way too awkward and you don't want to go, you could always send her a card and/or gift and then let it go. Then if she makes it a point to ask why you were not there, you could just tell her in a nice way that you felt you might be out of place, and why. "Are we still friends, or not?"
• 

  DJK

  I'm always reminded that friends come and friends go. I'm also reminded of this note someone sent me many months ago.

  As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't
  supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart
  broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break
  hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight
  with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
  You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose
  someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like
  you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a
  minute of happiness you'll never get back.
  Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never
  begin.
• 

  crazyblondeb

  Hey Es!!!

  Now Es, I know the kind of person you are. Would you be satisfied "cutting your losses"??

  Kiss the family!!

  shelley
• 

  Sparkplug

  I don't think it's personal against you. Feels to me like it's something in her past that may be hurting her when she sees or thinks of you and your happy life.

  Just my gut.

  I agree with Aude Spere. This might be an option. I can only draw from past experiences, but I have had people avoid me for such reasons. I say talk to her. Don't just let a friendship go. (maybe don't force her, but at least try)
• 

  Nosferatu

  Stuff like this happens. One of my wife's friends complained "Things are so different now that you have (boy)". Not only that, your friend is getting married. She'll be spending time with her new hubby. A child and a wedding can change relationships. Add to that, both are happening at the same time. Friends come and go throughout people's lives. It's part of life. Goto the wedding, but don't be surprised if that's the last you hear from your friend.

  At my wedding, I was pretty upset when a long time friend decided not to attend. The fact that I married one of her fiance's ex-gfs might have had something to do with that.
• 

  Sparkplug

  The fact that I married one of her fiance's ex-gfs might have had something to do with that.

  YOU THINK? DUH!
• 

  crazyblondeb

  The fact that I married one of her fiance's ex-gfs might have had something to do with that.

  YOU THINK? DUH!

  I just noticed this!!!

  

  One of my best friends married my exboyfriend. I was pissed for several years!!! They had what I wanted. No, I didn't want it with him, but that wasn't the point in my messed up head!!
• 

  BR25

  This may be a dumb question, but did you ever get a hint that she was jealous of who you were with?
• 

  Es

  Thanks guys,

  I have asked her previously about this, I said to her I noticed a change as soon as I said I was pregnant and she denied it and said she was over the moon for us, but what else would she say its not like she is going to admit otherwise actions speak louder than words.

  I could never imagine not visiting someone who has had a baby esp a close friend. She would send me these text msg no hello how are you and the baby it would be some msg bout the wedding if I could do this for her and that for her, and then to be sent the invite yesterday without being told that I am not in the bridal party is such a slap in the face and very rude!!!

  I helped her get ger wedding dress for gods sake. I feel very used.
• 

  Es

  MMm perhaps BR she was always wondering if her fiance was the right man for her, I remember he went away to America for a few months for work and she met up with her old boyfriend to see if she was missing anything by not being with him!!!

  I could tell you a million stories about this girl, she really is messed up, she asked me once if I survived ok on the pension when first hubby left me with a child, coz she wanted to know if they had a child and broke up if she could afford it all....I was a bit suprised people dont generally ask that kind of thing and if she is already thinking stuff like that then she shouldnt be bringing a child into the world in that relationship.