What would you do??? (page 3)

Nosferatu

No offense, but you ladies get bent out of shape over mundane things. I would be happy to be excused from being in a groomal party. Weddings are a pain in the arse to prepare for. I should know, I had one!

Es

Im more bent out of shape that she never told me, yes im alittle relieved im not in the bridal party I wouldnt like to be near her on her wedding morning heheh, but she never told me that i was no longer wanted, I mean i got the hint when she kept asking me wedding stuff but never asking me for fittings for dresses, I guess the invite was a slap in the face, and I was preparing for it but it still made me feel like sh$%

Sparkplug

No offense, but you ladies get bent out of shape over mundane things. I would be happy to be excused from being in a groomal party. Weddings are a pain in the arse to prepare for. I should know, I had one!

Nosf~what a male. Grrr.

Now go make nice. It is special to the ladies. Hell I wish I had a friend getting married...I hear bridesmaids get kisses.

With all the dreaming you do as a girl, well it is really sad to miss a wedding that your closest or one of your closest gals has. That is a big landmark for girls. I say talk to her. The hurt does not just go away...it gets buried sometimes and it might just be a good cry you need together. Throw some shoes and get it out!

Es

I hear you sparkplug and its not like i havnt done that, we have had a few msg where we mention we miss the level of friendship we had and im always the first to say lets fix it to what it was, and then you dont hear from her for months, I send msg asking how she is and get nothing in reply doesnt seem like she is too keen on the friendship getting back to what it was. For that to happen she is going to have to accept that I have had a baby and acknowledge it instead of wishing it would go away.

Sparkplug

its not like i havnt done that, we have had a few msg where we mention we miss the level of friendship we had and im always the first to say lets fix it to what it was, and then you dont hear from her for months,

AHHHH I see...well hon you may just have to wait for her to spill it if she won't talk. sometimes you can't always be the one fixing things. I am sorry your hurt honey...truly!

rebel8

I was given the cold shoulder a few times after I was asked to be a bridesmaid, suddenly I found out the bridesmaids had been to pick out their dresses etc without me, no mention of my "firing" by the bride, just received a regular invitation to the wedding. Looking back I wished I did what Scully suggested, just sent a small gift and congratulatory card. I really wish I did that instead of going to the wedding and feeling humiliated the whole time.

And perhaps your gift should be a book about etiquette! It is very rude to ask someone to be in your wedding party and then fire them without even giving the person the respect of notifying them. That is not polite.

orangefatcat

Hi ES

What would I do, well I would chalk it up to something that runs deeper. It is my opinion that perhaps she isn't jealous of you or your bab. It could be that she may not be able to have children of her own, or she may have had an abortion or her soon to hubby doesn't want children.

But taking it out on you is selfish on her part, i mean who says they are going to come and see you have lunch to gether and bring baby a gift, then leaves it at the door, she appears to come so far and then stops. Doing a turn around is what makes me think she is a very unhappy person right now and has nothing to do with you. But you feel hurt as she was your friend and promised you a place in her wedding party.

I would just ask up front what the matter is. What ever it is lets hope she is honest and tells you whats up. I know some of you say friends come and go, but if my friend just walked away from my life and said very little I would want to know what was wrong.

I have a few close friends and we've been that way for over 24 years and I know that at any time they could come to me if something was amiss or if I felt hurt. I just can't understand why people act the way they do.

I hope it is resolved or maybe on your part it is too late.

with much love

orangefatcat.

Nosferatu

Now go make nice.

I make good nice. Wanna join in? :)

It is special to the ladies.

I know. It's a female's chance to be princess for a day. The sad part is they're never happy with the wedding because it doesn't go perfectly. Ours apparently didn't, and I loved it! It was the most fun party I've ever attended. The wife wasn't too happy with it, again for mundane reasons. :P

juni

Hi ES!

To me the bottom line is this:

How important is her friendship to you? If it is, then talk with her so you don't have to second guess.

If it isn't, then enjoy your other friends who aren't "dark clouds".

Just my opinion.

Peace, Juni

dobbie

Hi Es

My friend has a cousin who she is very close to, however she has a phobia about pregnant women and babies!So as soon as my friend told her she was pregnant she didn't see her until after the birth. It definitely seems that there's something deeper here though, and perhaps she hasn't mentioned you being involved in the wedding again because she's guilty over the way she's been acting and can't face telling you? Sometimes even our best friendships can die away as we get older and follow different paths, but it sounds like you've done all you can do without actually phoning her up for an explanation, which she may not give you anyway. I would feel awkward going to the wedding as well, just do whatever you think would make you feel better about the situation, if you can't face going then don't put yourself through it. You've got a great family and lots of other mates i'm sure., so you could just leave it for now and wait and see if/when she contacts you. Hugs to you Es, you've got such a lovely smile on all your photos you post i don't like thinking of you being sad! Debbiex

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