This girl would shun me if she saw me and i havent seen her since i left. BUT .... i could call my sister with a tortured soul and unbear my conscience that this has stumbled me for all these years. she would be required to call the sister to find out. and the sister would sweat and possibly deny. but my sister would be bothered at the accusation and lose sleep. i know she would find it hard to believe i made it up.
Sister Pioneer and Her 10 Year Secret of Porneia
by bluesapphire 91 Replies latest jw friends
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The wanderer
Dear Bluesapphire:
Please think about this very carefully. Depending
on how some individuals are raised such an accusation
may exact revenge.
Right now, they have a child. If he finds you were the
one that destroyed his family life, it may result in
something very bad for you years from now.
The same as you were holding this for years.
Just think about this very carefully.
Respectfully,
The Wanderer
P.S. In some families this accusation could have an
individual "sleeping with the fishes" nough said. -
NotaNess
I somewhat agree with the Wanderer's post, however...
If the family gets split, it's ultimately because of what she has done, not you, AND, exposing this whole mess and lady will possibly help other trapped minds to be free. That is worth shouting it out...period.
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bluesapphire
I wouldn't ever dream of going to the elders. They've left me alone too long and I don't want to open a pandora's box. I honestly wish the brother would fess it up. That would be ideal.
But this has been on my mind for a couple of months and I've grown impatient, waiting to see if the brother will tell on himself. And that's why I'm tempted to take the matter in my own hands.
I could gossip about it to some other inactive people who still have relatives in. Spread the rumors like this sister has done to me for so long, spreading that I'm "apostate" etc and getting people to shun me.
It does feel good to talk about it here though.
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FourMs
It’s quite possible nothing will even be done. My husband and I fooled around a lot before we got married and never really thought twice about it. We knew it was wrong, but not enough to stop. After we were married about 5 years, I was doing my WT and it was about repenting from immoral sins and I felt really guilty about what we had done all those years before. I arranged to meet with my PO and was crying my face off in front of him telling him what we had done. My husband wasn’t willing to go with me, so here I was spilling my guts over things that had happened so long ago.
He said he was going to talk to the other elders and they would meet with us to settle the situation. It took 7 MONTHS for them to come! I lost so much sleep and was in agony over what was going to happen to me. I even called to remind him and asked when he was coming over. He just kept putting me off. So all this time I didn’t know what to think. I was sure they were going to DF us as I didn’t really know how these things worked.
By the time they came, he basically just asked us if we were sorry for what we did. We said yes and then it just turned into a one sided shepparding call where the PO blabbed about all kinds of crap. We barely even spoke the whole time. And after all was said and done, neither of us lost any privileges.
All that to say, if ever your story comes out in the open, they may just leave it and sweep it under the rug because it’s been so many years that have past.
FourMs
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JWdaughter
Ok, call me evil. I don't think you have any reason to go to elders. You do have reason to discuss this with the 'sister' who is encouraging your family to shun you. Biblically, in any case, you are to go to the person, right? Encourage them to do whatever they need to do. And if they don't 'repent' then I guess you don't have recourse-since it is hearsay/gossip. She may have already had done the repent thing herself, without any big public drama. Drama is NOT required by the Bible.
Back to me being evil, this sister with the issue could perhaps be DISCOURAGED from pushing the bad JW behavior (shunning) to your family when she understands the power of innuendo and insinuations.
Of course, outright gossip is not moral, nor is it nice. However, innuendo and insinuation are the loopholes of the whole gossip issue.
I do recognize my shortcomings in even suggesting this. Everyone has issues, whether they are sexual, substance abuse or compulsive behavior, etc. NO one should be harrassed about such things. But sometimes people need to be reminded of the glass houses that they live in when you are watching them lob rocks at your own home.
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bluesapphire
True, no official action would take place. But this is DIFFERENT. YOU MARRIED the person you committed the act with.
This sister was engaged to SOMEONE ELSE and the brother was engaged to SOMEONE ELSE too!!
The brother has had a bad conscience the entire time. The sister has been this extremely self-rightous pompous piece of shite!
The brother went to the elders himself and confessed about paying for this stuff to be done to him but he didn't confess where it all started in order to PROTECT THE SISTER.
I never told anyone firstly because I didn't know I was supposed to and secondly because over the years I figured out that it didn't matter since everyone was happily married.
This issue only came up because it turns out I was wrong and someone has been hurt by this. The disfellowshipped friend I am talking about is very weak minded. He is suicidal and I could see him taking his whole family out. He is also ridden with guilt and feelings of unworthiness, etc. Yet this sister is living and going on her merry way.
I just convinced myself that I need to talk to my husband and we both need to find some way to get the brother to confess it himself. Because he is a believer and he needs to cleanse his conscience before he causes himself or another harm.
At this moment ... and I'm thinking as I'm typing ... I really think that I don't need to tell anyone, other than the brother. I'm sure he never told because he was in awe of this sister and her family like everyone else. But his eyes need to be opened. He needs to see that HE is not the only one responsible.
And as far as the piece of dog-vomit that has lived the lie for so long, her husband would be better off without her.
Do you know that she refuses to allow her son to attend public school, refuses to allow him to be vaccinated and will not allow him to associate with ANY children, even children in the congregation because she doesn't want any bad association for him? Apparently she feels that only her family (nieces and nephews) qualify as good association. Everyone else is "weak".
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pollyana
Isn't silence the tool used by the WTS to stifle reports of child-abuse and other nasty tidbits? Report her, be done with it and move on. There is a second witness, the male the sister carried on with so that requirement is tied up neatly. Proving a negative is a specious argument but, what else has this pornea indulging sister done with other congo and worldly people? Make her own her actions.
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The wanderer
Dear Bluesapphire:
Is your motivation justice or revenge?
Please measure what your motivation
is before going through with this.
Recall, just recently some kid got up one
morning and decided to "get rid" of 32
students.
It sounds strange, but stranger things
have happened.
Respectfully,
The Wanderer -
bluesapphire
what else has this pornea indulging sister done with other congo and worldly people? Make her own her actions.
Oh my bee-jeepin-god!!! You have just reminded me of another detail. How could I have forgotten this for so long????
There was another incident with another man! A worldly man!
On another occasion, while sipping coolers by my pool after my study, she told me she had gone out with some guy she met and ... you guessed it ... she engaged in porneia with him too.
I can't remember if it was before or after her engagement but I want to say it was after because she was engaged that entire summer until she flew back to the Philippines in September or October and got married.
For all I know SHE could be the one with the sexual addiction! OMG, I am going to tell this to Ricky. He is the one who will benefit from knowing this. It will knock her off her pedestal and he will probably be more than willing to go confess it all.