by Big Tex 84 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Apologies for coming back here.
what God thinks of me, has plagued me as long as I can remember.
A meditation focussed on god, as you undertand it/him might show you. It would take some pratice, though. Read up on meditation, then use the word god as your mantra (chant it over and over w each breath) and focus on your concept of god, and also on your solar plexis. Sounds complicated, but, i did that as one of my first meditations when i was still a christain. It had surprising results.
S
Well for me personally, I have recently come to know and believe that God keeps track of the GOOD deeds you do. I believe that he forgives the bad and multiplies the good. (of course this is contingent on your intentions and attitude toward each)
With regard to this statement, I firmly believe that those who suffer in this life and seemingly have nothing to show for all their hard work, good deeds, and faith, can look forward to a far greater reward in a place where it will be for all eternity.
Ah I envy you, more than you know. It must be a great comfort and peace. I would give a lot to believe as you do, but I cannot. Maybe because I was born in Missouri?
I am curious to know why you feel this way. If there is an afterlife, why would it be grim? What exactly do you see it as? Do you feel that you are unworthy of a good afterlife?
Well I base the unknown on the known. My first few years were somewhat difficult. And then life began to throw a few more curveballs at me. So my reasoning is that while I can hope for something better when I die, I see no reason to expect it or even believe it possible. Even less so can I believe that there is a Higher Power that feels anything warmer than indifference toward me. I have nothing in my nearly 45 years on this little mudball to lead me to think otherwise.
And the more discouraging part of that thought is the realization that there are hundreds of millions of people on this planet, who have had a far, far, far more difficult time in this life than poor, self-pitying me.
With my luck I'll either be forgotten in Heaven's waiting room, or assigned to the Bangladesh part of the universe. Or I'll be reincarnated as Eeyore.
Chris
If God , in his infinite wisdom could change the stakes for even one person, whether he was facing certain death in the World Trade Center on 911, or the Tsunami on Christmas Day, some few years ago, or the Holocaust that attempted the ethnic cleansing of millions of Jews, and others. God would also have to be responsible for saving the person who's going to die in a traffic accident tonight, the people who are in my city on a Friday Night, mind you, who will be the top story on the morning news in a few hours from now, after they have lost thier lives to homicide. God would be able to be put into this comfortable little bottle, much like Barbara Eden who played Jeanie in the 60's. God is so much more complex than that. He can come running to the rescue, yes, but to what end? We as humans are responsible for such a great amount of human suffering. Man's inhumanity to man, himself.
And as for the planet taking away life with natural dissasters, well, they are what they are. Maybe if we didn't have all the Atomic Bomb testing from 1945 thru the 1960's our planet might not answer back in the form of earthquakes, floods and tidal waves.
God can't be blamed for everything that goes wrong as a result of our dealings. Terrible things happen, have happened and will continue to happen, as long as we are on this side of Heaven. Life in all of its pain and suffering can still be greatly experienced.
We are peculiarly cursed in this Western Society because we DO have it so good here. We easily lose touch with how difficult life really is on this planet for a majority of people who live here. We have been blessed with Grace to have been born here, but had we been born in the Sudan, Dharfour, Palestine, Iraq or Iran, we'd find ourselves being adaptable, or conditioned to our own personal struggles, where we lived. Humans are incredibly resillient and we make do with the lives that have been given us.
We only know and feel what we experience. The minute bit of suffering that occurs in our lives seems as if the greatest thing to overcome, and it is. No ones problems are as great as the persons who own them. Right or wrong, good, bad or indifferent, our lives are worth more than we might be inclined to believe, what with all the suffering that exist in the world. Our only avenue out at times might just be accepting our lot in life and recognising where Grace has been a working factor in it. Just think how twisted you would still be had you never learned the truth about " The Truth ". Think of how much more your life would have been warped.
Do you feel that you are unworthy of a good afterlife?
I'm sorry, I didn't address this point.
Honestly: yeah no question. Why? Well I was raised by a couple of people who I can only hope have been, or will be, erased from existence. They were cruel beyond description. I've posted some short stories that are based in reality, but I have not, nor will I, post about the really bad stuff they did. It's just too much for normal people.
So anyway I was raised (programmed) to believe I was bad. So there it is. I recognize it is programming, but I'm stuck at that very primal level. And having that stuck in my head and heart, no I absolutely do not believe I deserve or ever can even earn a good afterlife. Thus my paradox and why I'm starting this thread. Add to that multiple difficulties that life throws everyone, although frankly I seem to have more than my share, and here I am: believing my life has been inordinately difficult and finding no way to come to a belief system that anything after death will be any better.
St. Satan, you make some sense to me and I will try what you suggest. Do know I really appreciate it.
Chris
Maybe because I was born in Missouri?
hehe ... well I've never been to Missouri, and I don't know much about it but it can't be that bad can it?
I have nothing in my nearly 45 years on this little mudball to lead me to think otherwise.
I think it's really a matter of perspective. You must have some blessings in your life. Are you married? Do you love your wife? Do you have children? They are wonderful blessings. Do you have health? I don't know much about your personal situation since I am fairly new here, and I hope I don't step on any sensitive areas. What I am trying to say is that the way you see your life depends on how you LOOK at your life. I believe that what you want in your life and what you believe you deserve will happen. Take my mother for example: she is not the most positive person that's for sure. She lives her life afraid that her past will repeat itself. She is always waiting for people to betray her or stab her in the back or hurt her emotionally. Therefore, EVERY single person in her life (other than my father) has done just that. This may or may not apply to you. The point is that we all have energy that we put out. If you were to try to live with a more positive energy, I truy believe your life would take a more positive turn. This doesn't mean nothing bad would ever again happen, but you would be better able to move past those moments and take your place in the positive again. Does that make sense? (nothing really to do with God there but I thought it applied )
Or I'll be reincarnated as Eeyore.
Now that's funny! I love Eeyore!! A little gloomy but he has a GREAT heart!!!
I am terribly sorry that you had such a horrific childhood. Both of my parents share that with you. I grew up with two sets of grandparents who were essentially monsters, and worthless humans. I know only a fraction of the things my parents went through. My heart goes out to you truly. I know from watching my parents struggle with the permanent emotional scars that it is the hardest thing in the world to overcome.
I do believe Big Tex that your reward will be much greater than those of us who have not had to struggle with and survive such things. The fact that you have come out of this even CURIOUS to know if there is a God who cares shows that you have a good heart and an honest one too!
prophecor:
Thanks. I don't blame God. Really I don't. I mean, he's busy with running the universe or whatnot, so it's cool. And besides whenever he's got time to look in on this sorry little planet, there are billions of people far more important and/or deserving of his attention than me. Like I say, I'm okay with that knowledge. This is just my little pity party of a thread, so please forgive me.
hehe ... well I've never been to Missouri, and I don't know much about it but it can't be that bad can it?
Sorry ... I was being too obscure. The state motto of Missouri is: "Show me".
You must have some blessings in your life.
Of course. Despite the way I present myself right now, I haven't lead the life of Jane Eyre.
I've been married for 24 years to a wonderful woman, who has been far more patient and understanding with my irritating and whiny bullshit than I deserve. I've got 2 healthy children. I've got a home and plenty to eat.
I don't know much about your personal situation since I am fairly new here, and I hope I don't step on any sensitive areas. What I am trying to say is that the way you see your life depends on how you LOOK at your life.
Forgive me, I honestly do not mean to come on too strong, but this link is to a fictional short story I wrote that is based on a real event when I was 3 years old. Unfortunately for me the same dynamic, that of being left alone while in the midst of great peril, has played over and over again in my life. And as I've posted before, I honestly cannot imagine or conceive of anyone or any Power greater than ourselves truly caring. I know that sounds maudlin and the epitome of self-pity, but there it is. More likely I have parental issues. Anyway:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/49147/1.ashx
And so the genesis of this thread.
But really this thread isn't about this life, I'm more interested in what happens afterward. Based on what I've experienced and known, why should I believe or accept or even hope that what happens after death will be any better?
What happens when we die?
We go where the white goes when the snow melts away.
.......just my little pity party of a thread, so please forgive me.
I don't think you need my forgiveness, as I understand the agony that you feel. I feel it on many an occasion myself. The only thing that exist before me at this point and time, is my being able to die a better death. I truly wish for " A Good Day To Die. " I truly believe in God and realise that we all will require an answering to him, or some Higher Power. I don't believe he's going to be such a harsh and stereotypical judge. I will always believe his justice to be tempered in mercy. He recognises our shortcomings, he knows that we are made of nothing more than the dust, and he will be merciful to all of us, where it's merited. As for the rest, I only hope we can all get the story straight. What has been done under the sun we all are capable of executing.
Sometimes they tie, a thief to a tree. Sometimes I stare. Sometimes it's me.
Quote from Jeremiah Blues. Sting 10 Summoner's Tales
Get yourself some good weed and then get yourself a piece of AbraCaBubble candy/gum. Then just roll in the arms of your sweet lovin' lady . . . the stars of Heaven will be upon you. Peace.
