Why can't I just get over it and move on? (page 4)

codeblue

It's a normal reaction to having a long term relationship. Also, what you are experiencing is a "death" with no real finalities because your ex is walking around and is alive.

I was married almost 20 years before my divorce. Even though he cheated on me several times and yes, even with a JW sister who was married and was my best friend.....it took me quite a while to "get over him". Looking at our family photo albums were extremely painful.

Actually, when my youngest son got married in 2003, the getting over it took place in a most unusual way. My ex came to the wedding and his date was my Bible Study (he use to work with her before she became my Bible study and the day he left me he knew where she was moving with her husband....circumstantual...I think not!!!) I didn't put all the pieces together until she showed up with him at our son's wedding. His old patterns never changed!!! And never will. Let's see... that took me about 4 years to realize he was a scumbag and I was WAY better off without him. Yes I deserved better then him.

Moving far away from the ex was also a great way of gaining emotional freedom. Not talking to him or having any communication also has a freeing aspect on your life and signals others that you are truly available for a new relationship.

I now look at the family photo albums and wonder who the hell this guy was.....and why did I ever stay in that relationship so long.

Hope this helps you out a bit....

Looking forward to seeing you in Dallas!!!!

Have a safe flight!

Codeblue

Crumpet

Thank you for sharing your experiences codeblue - I think thats the moment when you know you are really over someone - when you cant imagine why you stayed so long!

First, It can help you to build back your self confidence - accomplishing something you didn't think you could do

Dawn I knew that I wouldnt be able to cope without something new to occupy my time thoughts and energies so I started a BSc in Criminology and Pyschology on the day I moved out and it really helps give me structure, teaches me new things every day that are relevant to my day to day life and has given me a healthy and productive passion in life. I should have done it a long time ago but I couldnt have done it whilst I was Mr C because he occupied my every thought and action pretty much.

fifi40

Exactly Crumpet...........maybe he just didnt have big enough balls..........sorry for that honey, but hey arent all the interesting guys and girls a bit of a handful.............you know yourself, but dont stop being interesting............as I am sure you wont.

Crumpet

Fifi - dont mention balls at this time of night!

fifi40

oops.............watershed............can I mention rabbits

tim hooper

Time, honey.

It'll be both your friend and your worst enemy.

A friend because it'll give you space to heal, but an enemy because it can take so long to happen.

tim

arrowstar

I hope it gets better for you

uninformed

You are a cutie pie Miss Crumpet.

Remember the saying, "Time Wounds all Heals". Whoops! I meant to say, "Time Heals all Wounds".

You'll be allright again before you know it.

Brant

Es

Its hard hun esp if he was in your life for a while, it takes time, it took me a couple of years to get over my ex husband, even tho he never loved me or cared for me there were days if he would have said lets get back together I would have said "yes". But now im totally over him and its a great feeling, yes I still have moments when i think of when we were together, but they are just fond memories now....i dont pine for him or them.

Go out, meet new people and enjoy your wonderful life.

luv ya

es

Cordelia

((((((crumpet))))))))

i klnow its hard but its good that you are going on a date with someone else i'm intrigued is it a date date?? i,ve often thought it would be easier to be with a woman,

i think what i found hard when i spilt up with my first ex is that i put him before my family, and i think you,re in a simliar position as i was which maybe thats why you are clinging to him as you don,t have your family around,

or am i completely wrong!!!

we need a good apostafest in the uk dont we??

Why can't I just get over it and move on?

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