YOUR DAILY JOURNAL (page 78)

Sad emo

I am a temple of calm...

Haven't forgotten!

I have chosen to have a day off job hunting and immersed myself in college work today - something I love, to help lift my inner spirit

I'm working on an essay about worship and 'how it should be'. In strange paradox, the article I'm reviewing is very anti 'modern' style - I could see a JW agreeing with it! And yet, there is a huge difference between the results of mainstream worship and that of the JW's - namely that although both may feel burdened by God about the state the world is in, the former are spurred to go out and do something to change the world, whereas the latter seem to bemoan it and pull together in a kind of 'ghetto mentality', hoping that God will soon do something about it!

"I desire mercy, not sacrifice" says the Lord.

Hmmm...

summer

Dear Journal...

As I sat at the computer after dinner to check my email, I received sad news from my daughter. Her good friend Sophie had been under the weather lately. But going through a divorce, it was assumed that it was stress more than anything else. She finally decided to consult and was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer:-( She must now go through more tests to see if it has started to spread.

A beautiful and vibrant young woman. Mother of 3 young children. It is just so sad:-(

compound complex

YOUR DAILY JOURNAL

*summer*:

I'm sorry to hear that things are not going well for your daughter's friend. Sad stories are everyday fare, so it would seem - everyone has some difficulty to face. It's a wonderful thing, however, that there are so many support groups available today. I know of more cancer survivors than victims; that's the good news nowadays.

The best to you and yours.

CoCo

summer

Thank You, CoCo...

Yes indeed, sad stories are everyday fare:-( Just read on the board this morning...a member's mother attempted suicide:-(

On the other hand, as sad as those stories are, they often serve as wake-up calls for us. And make us appreciate all those small blessings that we so easily take for granted.

Well, it is a beautiful bright sunshiny morning in my part of the world. On the cool side, but still beautiful. I just had a good workout at the gym. It is now time for breakfast.

Wishing you all a great day:-)

wings

summer:

On the other hand, as sad as those stories are, they often serve as wake-up calls for us. And make us appreciate all those small blessings that we so easily take for granted.

Thank you for the reminder.

Today is cold and windy. I have been spoiled by perfect spring weather. I do love rain, and we need it. No rain here for 40 days.

I am going to put my problems on the shelf, and clean the house and spend some time on JWD. Just enjoy what there is to enjoy today.

wings

Sad emo

Dear journal

Finished my essay which was due in today. Missed the deadline by 10 minutes because I got sidetracked. I hope they don't penalise me for it - oh what the heck if they do, it'll just be another pile of manure on top of the mountain that's already burying me

The college has miscalculated my course fees on my student grant application so it looks like I'll have to find £150 (US$300) from somewhere - I've told them if I have to pay, they won't get it until I'm working again. It's their fault anyway - they might pay it out of their bursary fund. AND it's because of said student grant that my unemployment benefit entitlement is being questioned. This degree is just one big nightmare for me at the moment - apart from the actual studying!

Was treated to lunch by a friend today - we had battered fish, chips and mushy peas plus bread - yummy - I haven't had this for ages!

I've got some herbal tablets to try help lift my mood - scullcap and wood betony - apparently its good for stress and anxiety but doesn't affect your alertness like some remedies do. I'll find out in a few days time!

emo immersed in equine excrement

will someone please feed me a straw to breathe through?!

compound complex

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Sad emo

Thanks for keeping me smiling CoCo!!

compound complex

Emo:

It's in your kingdom, yes?

U R Welcome!

CoCo

P.S: We're approaching 10,000 hits!

compound complex

YOUR DAILY JOURNAL

Thoughts from another time:

It's not so much that I wanted to die; I simply did not want to live. The hope of living forever - while an impetus to my strained level of endurance of trials in "the present system of things" - frequently seemed insufficient to bolster my flagging spirit. Yet wasn't my own loving and generous earthly father, who never failed me in any respect, an example of what Jehovah Himself would do for me - even if I must wait a bit longer?

Stop thinking of myself and consider the spiritual needs of others; find happiness and fulfillment by having "a meaningful share" in the field service. But study of the Society's publications is a prerequisite to sharing in the Watch Tower Service in said "meaningful" way. I felt inadequate ( not to mention confused ) insofar as expertly explaining the convoluted theological constructs of Brooklyn's Oracle. Would it be wrong simply to carry a Bible out in the Watch Tower Service and search out individuals who would find pleasure in hearing words of comfort from Jesus or those of the repentant David in the Psalms?

I wanted so much to do only that but to ignore the lovingly prepared presentations of God's faithful steward was tantamount to doing things my own way. I was so conflicted that I became paralyzed by negative emotion and ceased serving Jehovah shoulder-to-shoulder with the fearless, confident and unquestioning publishers of the Kingdom.

There was no purpose to life but to serve our Heavenly Father as understood and explained by those who look out for the interests of the now reigning King - Jesus Christ. I wanted to talk about him but if I could not present the Society-approved portrayal of the King upon his established throne, what would be the point?

Finding comfort in family, friends and my passionate interests could not assuage my guilt-ridden soul. A servant of Jehovah finds fulfillment through study, field service and prayer. All the rest is a cheap substitute for the works of faith that promise true contentment in the now and hold promise for the life that is to come. Say that over, and over and over and you will believe it ...

I did not want to live as - it hit me - I was not a true servant of the Almighty God who can be properly understood and explained only through his approved servant. Jesus Christ was not permitted to mediate on my behalf. My desire to serve Jehovah and help the sorrowing of this doomed world was of itself not enough if I could not work through His Channel. 'The road leading to life is narrow and I do wish to follow it ... Will I be turned off it by his ever-watchful slave?'

YOUR DAILY JOURNAL

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