Good one outlaw.ROTFLMAO
What do we really know about Jehovah?
by PopeOfEruke 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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wozadummy
He likes his western worshippers to have expensive Kingdom Halls and update the decor regularly, but does not require them to financially help the brothers in poor lands, they just have to put their money in a box for "The Worldwide Work"
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frankiespeakin
He is merciful and makes the sun shine on the good and bad and gives them rain too. But if he is in a bad mood they are all toast.
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wozadummy
He used to live in a star system not far away ,but lovingly let his governing body move him to who knows where.
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wozadummy
He had his oldest apostle write a book of Revelation that would start by saying that all things in it would happen shortly,and then have that book explained by a publishing company some 1900 years ,later then have certain parts of that explanation changed again and again ,to show god is really like the rest of us.
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PopeOfEruke
18. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "soon".
19. He likes gardening. Even once made a magic fruit which when eaten would turn a human into a God.
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frankiespeakin
He is almighty, and all knowing, there is no task imposible for him to preform, he can make a rock so big he can't lift it(demonstrating his creatiing abilities) and at the same time he can never make a rock so big that he can't lift it(demonstrating his almighty power).
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PopeOfEruke
20. He is the most powerful being in the universe but can't get the commas in the right place in the 1 book he writes. Billions of people doomed as a result of a comma in the wrong place.
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PopeOfEruke
SL said:
9. Poor decision maker - He'd rather have people going door to door than the rock and the trees crying his name. I think that talking rocks and trees would win more converts, plus there's a lot more rocks than people.
Ah but yes - think about this: Rocks can't put money in contribution boxes or leave Wills behind when they die! Which adds another point: 21. Likes money and property a lot, but HATES paying taxes.
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ICBehindtheCurtain
22. He became angered when humans built a tall building once that could reach heaven (about 300ft. heaven was pretty low back then) in Babel but didn't seem to mind them building pyramids that where taller in Egypt or at the present time where buildings are much much taller and man has even traveled beyond what was once considered heaven, go figure !
IC