This is not one of those 'Farewell' threads, 'Gotta' Go' threads, or 'Bye' threads. Because I know myself well enough to say that I would not honor my own exit - I would soon be back,
But in all honesty, I am finding my desire to be on this forum less and less compelling. I never open threads that will be controversial [well, I can't say never, but rarely]. I don't like fluff threads. Doctrinal arguments are far better handled by those who have apparently educated themselves just to make them, are often so linguistical in nature that I get bogged down, and feel unable to add anything of substance.
I still enjoy the 'I'm new here' threads. And the particular threads that deal with latest JW stupidity and statistics. And of course certain posters are more captivating than others and I tend to open those threads. Some people on this board I consider my friends, and so those threads I also look at when I see them.
But, by and large, I feel more 'addicted' than I do desirous of either participation or observation here nowadays. I compare it to the habit of walking up to the refrigerator, opening the door, realizing that I am not hungry anyway, closing the door and walking away. Only to repeat the process a few minutes or hours later.
Still - there is something that draws me. The commonality of the posters of course. We have all survived the Jw experience. I feel tremendous love and respect for many here. I have grown, smashed the box that contained me, and dared to think. Most of that was encouraged from participation here. And that I cannot ever forget the value that such has added to my life. Three years ago I judged everyone. I detested those in Religion, homosexuals, patriots, materialists, those practicing occult, those who denied God, those who believed he was Triune in nature, Methodists, Protestant, and Catholics. In short, the only good people were the Jw's, all others were evil and should get ready to meet their end [which I believed was imminent]. Now I accept most everyone, or at least I have no prejudice against the things they believe. I would be happy to sit and have a beer with any of them. I have now come full circle and would even allow Jw's to join us - if they could behave. lol
I also healed here, leaving nearly 40 years of mind control behind, and finding a way to cope with the realization that everything I had put my confidence in was just cavernous emptiness.
So what is a fellow to do? I cannot leave those that have been so important to me - nor do I really want to leave. I have cut back, sort of like the heroin addict cuts back to methadone. But the addiction remains.
I love you all. I don't think I am going anywhere though. Just wanted to ramble this morning I guess.
Jeff