At what point have you crossed the "cheating" line?

free2beme

I have been married for awhile, and in my 14 years of marriage I have seen many other marriages of friends and relatives, come and go. Most, if not all, were caused by cheating. At work I work with a lot of people of different faiths, to no faiths. They too have been examples of people married and divorces caused by cheating. In talking to people, I have often been surprised at what some people consider cheating. Most will say "SEX" is cheating, but some will say ORAL SEX is not. I known some that say KISSING is cheating and known others who felt their spouse cheated by going to dinner with someone, with no physical contact. So where is the line, at what point is it cheating? When would you see this as CHEATING with the person you have a relationship with? It is so interesting to see what levels people put the cheating at, as it is not always the same or at the level you would consider cheating.

avidbiblereader

Any appointments made, physical contact and especially ORAL SEX, too me is all cheating.

I made a commitment to my wife and she to me, I cannot for the life of me think that if I did anything but never had intercourse, that this is still cheating.

APPROPO; Matt 7:12

If you wouldn't want it done to you, then don't do it to another and especially your spouse.

abr

free2beme

For me, I do not mind if my spouse knows people of the opposite sex. If they, however, were people she started hanging around with, when I was not there. I would consider that the prelude to cheating, but the point I would consider, "You have cheated on me!" Would be if any affectionate connections were made, which could be anywhere from holding hands, to intercourse. If my spouse loves me, why would they need to touch another person affectionately?

OnTheWayOut

Many spouses don't say everything they do. This is done for a couple of reasons.
They want to enjoy themselves or have peace at home. That said, this is a very
difficult question. I want to say that anything you do with the opposite sex, but
are unwilling to tell your spouse about- that could be cheating.

It ain't that simple. Lunch with a coworker might spark a jealous argument, but
you had to go in order to advance in the company. A spouse might go to a
raunchy show / strip club while out of town, definitely not cheating to me, but would he
tell his spouse? I discuss things with coworkers that I don't discuss at home.
Granted, I stick with same-sex coworkers, but I imagine not everybody does that.

I have to say, oral sex is included in cheating- no doubt at all that it's wrong.
Kissing/dating the opposite sex is wrong- clear in my opinion.

Anything I would object to my wife doing, if I do it, it's cheating.
I would object to her secretly meeting a man on a regular basis just to
talk, discuss politics and have a nice quiet dinner. If I knew the guy and I knew
why the two were meeting, it might be different because it's not a secret.

ninja

never....I couldn't live with myself if I hurt my wife and kids....neither would my mrs....even though she visits the fire station to help clear their hoses every so often and washes the rugby players underwear...it is just the kind caring person she is.....muhahahaha

nvrgnbk

....even though she visits the fire station to help clear their hoses every so often and washes the rugby players underwear.

I love you man! You gotta be one of the funniest mofos on JWD!

Brother Apostate

Anything done with another in secret is cheating, unless it's planning a surprise party or something.

BA

nvrgnbk

Anything done with another in secret is cheating, unless it's planning a surprise party or something.
BA

True and simple!

So technically, ninja's wife's activities at the firehouse are legit? LMAO!

Nvr

Tara

My two cents worth:

Friends of the opposite sex is not cheating. Lunch in a restaurant with a co-worker is not cheating. Lunch with a co-worker in a motel room is cheating. A hello kiss on the cheek is not cheating. Sucking somebody's face/tongue is cheating. If you can't/won't tell your partner about it, or do it in front of him, it is cheating. Oral sex is definitely cheating. Anyone who says it is not is just deluding himself. Denial is the ultimate lie.

collegegirl21

To me, married or in a long term relationship I think that any physical contact that could be construed as too much is cheating. But as long as my boyfriend tells me that he's going out with somoene of the opposite sex who has been in his life before me isn't cheating. I have friends that are men and he has women friends, I think to say he is not allowed to go out and hang out with them is a little extreme.

At what point have you crossed the "cheating" line?

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