Attention former elders and ms: I have a question.

by R.F. 49 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  sinis

  I was an RP and MS, on my way to Elder hood Anyway, my suggestion is take one task at a time. I started to slack in field service so that I was not making my time on a monthly basis. Here is where it can work for you. If you have a job with odd hours or if you are the only one pioneering (or if sisters are pioneering) you can do a few things - job is interfering with field service -> low hours, only one pioneering ->low hours, no brothers pioneering - only sisters -> you don't feel comfortable working in service with sisters only -> low hours. I used the fact that I was the only person pioneering and then when a sister joined the ranks I told the elders I did not feel comfortable working alone with her in field service. So after getting 15-20 hours under everymonth for around 5 months in a row, the service overseer told me that I was low, offered no help and I basically said I quit! He told me not to, but I put a letter in writing and quit.

  Now came the MS part. After a few months, and even before, but more now, they kept dumping shit on me like impromptus, etc. Eventually, I told them I could not handle anymore as I was burnt out. So what did they do? They pretty much went the other way and never put me on the school (I enjoyed that). After a few months of that I wrote a letter to the body of elders AND the society (this is key) and told them that I no longer wanted to be a MS due to the stress that it was adding to my life. They met with me and tried to talk me out of it, but I said I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Couple months later I showed up at a cong, where VERY few people knew me. My cards got transferred. Two months their and I went to another hall about half a dozen times, first night, at this third hall I met the elder in charge of cards and said I was coming to his hall now, he said he would put in for a xfer. Showed up maybe 6 more times and never went back. No one has called me at all. Basically I'm three halls removed and the third hall had no fucking clue who I was.

  Oh, start to cancel your talks about once every two weeks, and then get more progressive once you have stopped pioneering.
• 

  lrkr

  I'm with Lawrence, be a slacker. Get real busy doing something (college is a great thing to do). You will miss meetings, service and then they will remove you. If they hang on to you as an MS forever, you may have to take one of the more affirmative steps.
• 

  TheListener

  You're engaged right?

  Just tell the elders that you need to focus on your relationship with your fiance right now. Tell them you've been handling too much and you don't want to burn out. And that you can't wait until you can serve on the body and pioneer in the future.

  Whatever reason you give don't be too specific and don't take anyone's bait for badmouthing the witnesses. It may be your own father or best friend that is trying to find out your real feelings or reasons.

  Also, you must let your fiance know that you intend on not being a ministerial servant or pioneer. She has a right to know.

  Good luck.
• 

  wozadummy

  RF just tell them your fiance is giving you trouble ,and the dumbos will knowingly say "ah yes we know what that's like"
• 

  sinis

  You're engaged right?

  Just tell the elders that you need to focus on your relationship with your fiance right now. Tell them you've been handling too much and you don't want to burn out. And that you can't wait until you can serve on the body and pioneer in the future.

  Whatever reason you give don't be too specific and don't take anyone's bait for badmouthing the witnesses. It may be your own father or best friend that is trying to find out your real feelings or reasons.

  Also, you must let your fiance know that you intend on not being a ministerial servant or pioneer. She has a right to know.

  Good luck.

  In my book this is NUMBER ONE. Not so much because she has the right to know but because witness girls save their entire life searching for the perfect RP, MS, Elder, Bethel person. You may go from hero to zero, once she finds out - which will quickly let you know she was not in love with YOU but your TITLE and POSITION. If this is the case I would run away fast, as you can start to expect the rumors to start. Also fading out with a devote Jdub fiance may not work unless they are in the same boat as you, if they are not and you get married expect the shit storm to follow...
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Come to find out that one elder just stopped because he was bored and tired of the organization, but he told the other elders he just had hurt feelings.

  Sounds like your elders are accustomed to that sort of thing. I second jgnats suggestion re what to do if they keep assigning you things. It might be helpful to have some mystery illness that keeps you away from meetings on occasion, such as those occasions on which you're supposed to be giving a talk. Do a bit of research on depression so you can talk about the treatment options you're considering. Depression will scare them way the hell away.
• 

  LittleToe

  Whether you take the route of fading or formally DAing yourself, there will be a price to pay. With fading the price is that it takes so long (usually at least a couple of years) and you have to keep looking over your shoulder all the time, incurring the potential surprise visit from Elders and C.O.s at any time.

  That having been said you should probably approach this in a manner that will build up a plausible story in the minds of people who brook no accusation of their cult.

  Avoid the "Ministry" as much as possible and start consistently submitting reports that are below the required hours. Show a pattern here over 3-4 months at least, with falling figures. This will present a picture that you are finding it difficult to make your time. When you ask to be taken off there will be some argument as to how you mike stay on, but this can usually be overcome, especially if you seem down about it but unable to change your circumstances (such as having to work just to make ends meet, with no obvious signs of increased materialism).

  Following on from this, a period of increasingly low mood leading to sporadic meeting attendance (needing to be played slowly and carefully, but quick enough that the pattern is obvious to a blind dingbat) should lead to your eventual removal as a MS. You should probably at no point express any doubts over WTS doctrine, if you want this to be a clean fade with few repercussions.

  You will likely receive at least some attention, especially if your C.O. is even half diligent, but if you are consistent it should be seen as a pattern that most are familiar with and have little desire to expend the huge effort required to assist with. It will take at least a couple of years before you drop off the radar, and even then you will have to keep an eye on your shadow if you don't move far, far away.

  Have you got the stamina for it? I certainly didn't have, and wanted a clean break, so I DAed. In some ways it can be even harder still for Elders, especially if active at the Circuit and District levels.

  The price for DAing is usually instant shunning from everyone you loved, tempered with the opportunity to start a new life.

  The price for fading is the slim hope that your loved ones will still occasionally associate with you (at least they should have little excuse not to, regardless of how they decide to play the game), albeit view you as weak and lower-class.

  Good luck
• 

  R.F.

  The wonderful thing is, we were together since I was a regular pub, with no responsibilities. In fact I even told her last week that I wanted to go back to college so I would need to quit pioneering. She said she supports anything that I wanted to do. Too, she knows me going to school would help us in our future. Smart girl.

  Using an illness was mentioned as far as it goes on getting rid of M.S. responsibilites. I think I will take this route because, sad to say, I can honestly say there is a health issue that has recently started to affect me that is apparently hereditary, so the congo members will likely be more understanding when I step down.
• 

  tijkmo

  why resign...

  if you don't care then just stay on and have some fun with it in the full knowledge that nothing they can do can hurt you.

  go miles overtime...or undertime..for every assignment

  make wacky off the wall comments

  enforce the most trivial rules

  go in fs once a month

  arrive late and leave early

  announce the wrong song

  sing off key

  only downside i could see is you might be considered for the gb
• 

  WTWizard

  Here is another suggestion. If they stubbornly insist on keeping you on as a ministerial servant, start blowing off all the assignments. You have a talk, don't show up for it. Don't let anyone know about it at all, not even at the last minute. Come up with some lame excuse for not being able to do it. After enough missed meetings, they will be forced to delete you. If not, then they will have extra work trying to scramble to find replacements every time they wishfully give you an assignment.

  And if you do have to make the meeting, mess up the assignment as much as possible. Announcing the wrong song on purpose will help. If you are the sound attendant, buy a copy of 50 Cent's The Massacre on CD and play that instead of the assigned song on purpose. (They will have a cow when those swear words start coming up, along with the gunshots). Mess up the timing. Cite the wrong scriptures on purpose, preferably ones that will undermine the whole organization. Ruin a few Kingdumb CDs by scratching the label side (once the label side is scratched, they will start to deteriorate in short order).

  Just be thankful they didn't make you an elder. I hear that it's even worse trying to fade from that.