You Must Marry Only In The Lord!

by The wanderer 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The wanderer

  You Must Marry Only In The Lord!

  How many times do you recall that expression blaring from
  the sound system at a district convention or circuit assembly?
  
  You Must Marry Only In The Lord! This admonition limited
  prospects for a life’s partner especially for the women in the
  organization.

  How Difficult Was It To Follow This Command?

  In my congregation, I recall mothers trying to pair off their
  daughters before the ink on the high school diploma was dry.
  
  In one case, the wife of one elder was trying to pair her
  daughter off at the age of—get this-13.

  For those who were caught up in this line of thinking, how difficult was it to follow this command?

  Respectfully,

  The Wanderer
• 

  Chameleon

  I always thought it was crazy to look for a "spiritual" person to marry.

  Good thing I found out all the bs of this cult while still single. =p
• 

  LtCmd.Lore

  Well. For me it's easy, since I have no desire to be married.

  But my sister is currently attempting to find a suitable husband.

  There aren't any in our hall, so every couple of weeks we go to a nearby congregation to visit. She has her sights on a guy, but how much of an impression can you make in twenty minutes after a Watchtower study?

  Seriously, it's been several months, and not a response from him. My sister is pretty attractive, but still, twenty minutes of talking every couple of weeks is not enough to even initiate interest.

  Maybe he's like me and not interested in women. Or maybe he's gay (Nahh, not him.) Maybe he has his eyes on someone else. Maybe he want's to go to the Ministerial Training school. The point is, he's the only option she has, and it takes so stinkin' long to even SEE him, let alone figure out his interests. It's just a really illogical way to find a mate... definately no divine justice behind THAT arrangement.

  Lore
• 

  serotonin_wraith

  She has her sights on a guy, but how much of an impression can you make in twenty minutes after a Watchtower study?

  No offense to other guys, but it doesn't take us too long to know if we like someone and want to get to know them better!
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  This couple was studying with a married couple with two children.
  The mother of the children leaves her husband and kids while he
  continues to study. His divorce is final and he progresses to
  baptism. At the District Convention, this 30-ish guy and his two
  little preschool age children attend, and he gets baptized.

  At lunch that day, 17 to 40 year old sisters are all over him, putting
  phone numbers in his hand, trying to find out when they will get together.
  He's so overwhelmed by sisters that he has to ask a bunch of couples
  to sit with him during the afternoon session and not let the sisters
  near him.

  He remarries almost right away, snagged by a slightly older sister who
  is ready to be a mommie.

  ---

  This sister makes note of everyone who gets baptized, and personally
  congratulates any new brothers in her age range (30-60- she's near the top
  of that range). She gets the scoop on any of them that she can.

  ---

  I moved into a congregation's territory without having visited the hall ever before,
  so the first meeting is on a Sunday. I introduce myself to many people before and
  after the meeting. This one sister (about 10 years older than me) introduces herself
  to me with this line: "Hello my name is Jane Doe and I am available for marriage."

  I spot my wife about 15 feet away meeting others. I literally walk the 15 feet, grab her
  and drag her back the 15 feet (before saying a word). Then I said "My name is
  OnTheWayOut, this is Mrs. OnTheWayOut." She looked disappointed.
• 

  greendawn

  They obviously don't want this to happen because they fear an outsider might influence a member to leave the org. That is their hidden motive though in practice they say that since non JWs will soon die at armageddon what's the point of getting such a spouse.

  Since the JW local communities are often not complete with too few young people or JWs whose spouses are not JWs it can often prove hard for a young person to find someone though I think nowadays they also have the internet to work with. Otherwise they can end up being celibate for long years.
• 

  LtCmd.Lore

  "Hello my name is Jane Doe and I am available for marriage."

  LOL. That was subtle. Maybe my sister should try that... no.

  C'mon, what kind of a person would acctually say that? That's pretty sad.
• 

  Nowman

  Oh yes! My parents wanted me to find a "bethel" brother. Yet, me being a woman, I knew I should never "throw" myself at a brother. Thats so humiliating and unecessary. The sisters spoke of on some of these posts on this this thread, are probably so horney, they are just dieing to have sex! I truly believe that alot of my friends were getting married at 18 for this very reason, the only way they could fulfill what they wanted was to get married. For goodness sakes, at 16, they were looking to get married by the time they were 18. The hormones were going crazy.

  I too even thought I was going to get married at 18, but I wound up leaving the org at 18. Here I am 15 years later...I remember when I was 17, there was this 32 year old brother (new JW), he was friends with my dad. I had the biggest crush on him. All the sisters wanted him so bad, all ages. He never knew I had a crush on him, but we pioneered together...so I took what I could get...one day my parents go on a little get away trip...I am staying with a friend at my house....he calls me! He proceeds to tell me that he wants to start "dating" because his intensions are to eventually marry me. He offered to put me in my own apartment when I am 18...my parents return from their trip...he asks to meet with them...(I am at a volley ball party), my parents absolutely refuse...I get home later that day, there is a for sale sign in our front yard...my parents tell me that I am too young to know what love is. Our house sold in 3 days, we move the next month to another KH where there are more young people...I was devestated. They gave me no emotional support...what they said was law and I did not need any consoling...The congregation was in an up roar over this, alot of sisters were so upset with me (these woman are mostly over 25), it was a scandal.

  The funny thing is, is that he and I did nothing together except go out in service, pioneering. We never kissed, nothing. We were never alone. I thought I was going to be the happiest JW sister on earth if I would have married him...thankfully I got over it, and realized my parents were trying to protect me, but I just needed them to give me some understanding....not to be so cold...I was completely honest with them, but they treated me as if I was such a slut, and here I was a virgin, I was just a young girl completely flattered by the situation.

  It was ingrained in my mind to get married (in the lord), pioneer, and live happily ever after! What a joke!

  Nikki
• 

  Brigid

  LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Growing up, as I began to "notice boys", the last thing I wanted on this earth was a nice, J-whipped lil' witness boy. I thought you all were lustless whimps in bad clip-on ties. BOY, did I have it wrong....you guys were just repressed! The IRONY of it all, that good lil' JW boys are probably the most lustful sex machines aplanet (mormons might run a close 2nd lol!) because of the repression!!! Oh had I but known (I bow to the sex gods you all are!!).

  More ironically, now I do have my nice lil' witness boy. We do unspeakably naughty things (like speeding and jaywalking, silly!!!).
• 

  RichieRich

  My mother always blamed the fact that she had married out of the truth for everything that went wrong.

  All the young girls she could get her hands on- she'd tell them- don't marry out of the truth- what ever you do.

  I know mothers were staking claims on young brothers when I was 14 or so. Went to a bigggg wedding, and I was hanging out with my friends, who were all 4-5 years older, and I later found out that all these 14-15 year old girls' mothers had been approaching my mom, and asking about my spiritual goals and what not.

  Ewwww.