by The wanderer 40 Replies latest jw friends
An agenda to control the flock.
My unfortunate jw sister is divorced with three grow children, she knows that she can only date a jw man, so she's really having a hard time finding a suitable partner.
She's been asked out many times at work, but she declines due to the religious thing.
I'm always being hassled at JW weddings by "Sisters" looking for a man to marry. They run the other way when my mom tells them that I'm a pot smoking, hard drinking, sex addicted worldly person. If my mom wasn't such an idealouge, I would thank her every day. Those JW women are VERY fucking clingy, creepy and mentally disturbed. "Good" JWettes are afraid to show their true emotions (which is pure hell when you have Asperger's syndrome) and they're willing to put you on a pedestal. I would rather date the skanky, wild, uncontrolled women I usually date and who usually get me into trouble than those Stepford Wives they have in the kingdom hall.
There was one creepy guy (who may still be a dub, I'm not sure) who was chatting up all the minor chicks in the hall about marriage. He was at least mid-20s, possibly early 30s. After he moved on--no takers to his bended knee, thankfully--the girls would all shudder at the mention of his name.
No one bugs me about marriage except for the yenta-like older folks.
They want you to stay in the ORG. They don't care about your happiness. This is the same reason they don't want their young going to college.
This is so true. They will sure as hell not support you when you realize you married too young and want to get out of a bad marriage. Marrying only in the lord is a crock.
At 19 I married a worldly man. I was divorced 5 years later.
Spent 10 years looking for a "brother", but I was damaged goods with a child to support -- not one brother ever looked twice at me.
Remarried again in my 30's to another worldly man. I have a very solid marriage built on love, respect and trust. I could never ask for more.
Guess I wasn't meant to be a JW.
Purza
I was a brand-new elder in a congregation where these 2 young black men visited from
a congregation about a3-hours drive away. They identified themselves to me and another
elder as brothers, then said the purpose of their visit. They were visiting congregations
in search of sisters to date with the object of marriage in mind. One of them then said
he was looking for "blonde" sisters. "Are there any of those available for marriage."
I am pretty understanding about preferences. Many of you may frown, but people have
their preferences for age, skintone, shape, style, etc. But I was put off by their whole
objective to travel for sisters, looking for blondes. If you have such a motive, it might
be best kept your own secret. It was clear that they thought young single brothers were
a hot commodity, and that made them somewhat "players." I told them there was nothing
here for them. That probably didn't stop them from gathering phone numbers anyway.
I did develop the personal opinion that anyone who needs to travel long distances to meet
potential mates just might have a reputation in their local area. There is nothing wrong with
cruising the congregations, but it just creeped me out that it was common.
There was a sister in our cong. who followed the single C.O. around. He was young enough
to be in her ideal age group. He asked us to speak with her, because she just showed up
where he was going about twice a month. When we spoke to her, we didn't get straight to
the point, so she started out saying "If a sister had an interest in a traveling brother, what
should she do to increase her chances to get his attention?" We had to tell her that the C.O.
noticed her at several different congregations, and that he wasn't interested. She tried to act
like she wasn't following him, and like she was speaking about a friend instead of herself.
She was only doing what her JW training taught her- go for a spiritual man so you can serve Jehovah the WT corporation better.
I recently heard from a "inactive" friend of mine, that his mother, (he's 35), was talking to my ex's mother, (they are both in the same hall). My ex's mom heard that my buddy was divorcing, and actually tried to talk my buddy's mom in getting him to date my ex! Only in jw land does stupid shit like this happen....
j
I remember an 20 year anniversary party we were having for a couple in the congo.
Most of the crowd was young single jw's. They said "don't be in a rush to get married" I thought to myself easy for you to say you have someone to cuddle up with tonight. What are we suppossed to go home and cuddle up with tonight?
Then years later when I was married I thought of their comment. I thought what would I say on my 20th anniversary. It certainly wouldn't be to discourage someone from getting married. I guess they must have been unhappy marrying in the lord and was trying to warn young ones not to marry so quickly. But did they think what that was saying about their relationship?
I did develop the personal opinion that anyone who needs to travel long distances to meet
potential mates just might have a reputation in their local area. There is nothing wrong with
cruising the congregations, but it just creeped me out that it was common.
This is quite common, and more or less accepted where I am in socal.
This is quite common, and more or less accepted where I am in socal.
Maybe for brothers to go traveling for dates was ok. But for a sister in So Cal it was taboo. it made them look desparate.
Brigid
More ironically, now I do have my nice lil' witness boy. We do unspeakably naughty things (like speeding and jaywalking, silly!!!).
not to mention wearing white before Memorial Day!
