My Grandpa died Sunday afternoon.I was there in the room with him.I had to watch as he struggled to take his last breaths.It was horrific to watch.This was the second time I have watched someone in my family die.He died of prostate cancer.It was a long and painful death.I'm glad he's not in pain anymore.
At the moment I'm feeling a little emotional and upset about what I saw and all of the JW bs I had to listen too.I'm also dreading the JW memorial which is next weekend.I am planning on going.I'm Da ed so I don't expect anyone to come up and talk to me or express there sorrow to me.The thing is I feel like I should be comferted and people should tell me they are sorry I lost my Grandfather.I lost someone who I had alot of respect for all of my life regaurdless of how close we were after I DA ed.I think I'm going to be excluded at the dinner after.They are planning a reception type thing for after the service
I'm glad I did get the chance to see him and talk to him before he got really sick.I had the chance to go to dinner with him and my parents and a couple of my Aunts a few months ago.When he was leaveing he asked me pointedly for a hug.He said he was collecting them.I hugged him and said I loved him.That was the last time I saw him till I went to my Aunts house where he was staying just before he went into hospice.The next time I saw him was 3 weeks ago when he entered hospice and wasn't expected to live the night out.Then I saw him Sunday I arrived about 20 to 30 minutes before he took his last breath.He was creamated this week and will be buried with my other family in our family plots soon.
Anyway I'm just in need of some kind words of support at the moment.I though that JWD would give that to me even though I don't post here that much.It really sucks to feel alone at times like this.