My Grandpa Died Sunday (page 3)

restrangled

Noni,

I am so sorry you have lost your grandfather and are experiencing so much pain. JW's really know how to make a bad situation worse!

You will be in my thoughts.

Take care,

r.

So sorry to hear of your grandfathers passing. Things might be different than you expect at the funeral. When my father passed away my brother was DF'd at the time and all but one person spoke to him (my elder uncle). I've heard from others in your situation where people have talked to them etc. Keep your chin up and remember you have as much right as anyone to be there and expect comfort.

We are here for you.

BB

eclipse

((((Noni)))))

I too lost my grandpa..and I'm getting choked up just writing this...

my heart goes out to you..

greendawn

Sorry to hear about the passing away of your grand father, though he was a JW he was a obviously an endearing person to you so he must have been one of the relatively few JWs that have a decent outlook on the rest of the world.

Sad emo

(((Noni)))

Sorry to hear of your loss and sending you some healing, peaceful thoughts....

misanthropic

Oh Noni I'm so sorry, this must be a very difficult time for you.

(((((((Noni)))))))

lonelysheep

I'm sorry Noni!!

I think I'm going to be excluded at the dinner after. They are planning a reception type thing for after the service

I hope you're not. That is just horrible. You're hurting, too, and no one deserves to be excluded from such an event. Can't you show up anyway? He loved you. That's what matters.

I kept hearing people say he had a good linage to pass down.

People who have their head stuck up their rump, I think! They are equating lineage (like being a gifted violinist) to jw literature pushing.

His linage is as much mine as anyone of my cousins or anyone else.I felt like I wasn't even in the same room with the Elder who said that.Funny thing was he looked pointedly at me when he said it.I wonder if he did the on purpuse or unconscienly??

Pompous b*stard. It's a wonder people like that don't get beaten.

poppers

I am sorry for your loss, noni. It's tough losing a loved one, but if it's any comfort know that there are a lot of people here who would wrap their arms around you right now. My heart goes out to you - poppers

Flowerpetal

Sorry about your grandpa, Noni. I can relate though--I was in the same room when my mom died.

Cicatrix

{{{Dearest Noni}}},

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandpa's death, and about your experience with you family!

You do NOT deserve to be treated in the manner that you have been treated. The JWs use emotional abuse to attempt to get you to conform to their paradigm.Some do it because they don't know any better-they've never been educated as to what it actually is. They really DO think that treating you in that manner will get you to "come back to the fold."And sadly, some do enjoy the sense of power they have when they can say cruel things to you.

Sweetie, the dreams are a normal process of grieving. I KNOW it feels like it's never going to come to an end right now, and things will never feel "right" again (I lost my step dad to cancer just three years ago-I was very close to him, and the pain of losing him was like nothing I'd ever felt before), but the pain does lessen over time. How much time, I can't tell you. It varies from individual to individual. But it does get better over time. It doesn't go away altogether, but you won't always feel as raw as you do now.

As far as your feelings, I have found (after being away from the JWs for six years), that my feelings were very bottled up for years also. I think that has something to do with the JW indoctrination. You are constantly TOLD how to feel and what to think ("JWs are the HAPPIEST people on earth"), and you get to the point that you don't trust your own interpretation of your feelings because they often go against what the society tells you you should be feeling.So you DO put your feelings on a shelf so you can deal with the conflict. If you think about it, that's really quite an amazing coping mechanism.

I'm six years out and still thawing:)

While this is a great place to come get support from people who intimately understand JW issues, I think you might benefit if you could find some folks in your area who could support you, too. Is there a nonJW coworker, friend, neighbor, or maybe teacher you could talk to? Are there any grief support groups in your area?

Could you organise your own gathering with supportive nonJW folks to honor your Grandpa?

It's great that you are supporting your mom, but don't forget to take care of yourself, too.

My Grandpa Died Sunday